Feeld is not for the h0rny, libidinous lover girlies
Chill, this is just my opinion. You can unroll your eyes now.
When this year started, I (41F) finally decided to get myself out there after avoiding dating and shmex for a good couple of years, following a long-term relationship that fell apart rather quickly. I was ready, h0rny, and feeling confident again about my body, my mental health, just about everything. I was in a good headspace for dating, but I was clear about not wanting another relationship. I wanted LOVERS, cute casual dates, FWB with a big emphasis on the F, banter, flirting, regular play, all that good stuff.
A Feeld ad popped up on Instagram one day and I got curious after giving up on Bumble. So I signed up, and wow. In about a week I had almost 700 guys swipe on me, and it was a massive ego boost, even though I knew most of it wouldn't really go anywhere. My h0rny head was happy regardless. Finally, an abundance of d1cks after going without for almost five years. I was going to have myself a hot perimenopausal girl summer: date interesting men, wear cute and sexy outfits, explore the kinks I'd been wanting to explore since forever.
The reality, of course, was different. I am a lover girlie through and through, and I was naive enough to believe I could suppress that and not be affected when a connection fizzled, when communication slowed, when someone ghosted, when someone pursued me relentlessly before the first date and then just vanished. I was naive enough to believe my sensitivity to rejection and abandonment had been therapised out of me; that it wouldn't sting when Michael texted less and less, when Will didn't want to arrange a second play date, when Jake watched my stories but never answered my texts.
Turns out the lover girl in me still wanted consistency, good communication, to feel desired and urgently sought after, even after the first play. Instead, I had some one-night-stands that left me feeling used. I started wondering if I'm a lousy lay, or if there are simply so many men on Feeld that when I swipe back, I'm their only match: a placeholder until someone who actually catches their eye comes along. My mind raced in all directions. It stopped being fun.
Hot Perimenopausal Girl Summer is slowly turning into a case study on why people with my personality should never just do casual hookups or lovers. My psyche can't handle it. My inexperienced arse can't handle it. Or maybe the men just aren't doing it right. Either way, I'm calling time on HPGS. It's not worth the mental health I worked so hard to claw back after the breakup.
Maybe I'm a lousy lay. Maybe I'm too inexperienced. Maybe my body's not hot enough. Or maybe I'm just too much of a lover girl, with needs and standards no casual situation can fulfil and you know what, that's okay. Feeld isn't for me. But I wish the rest of you all the fun and the best.
EDIT: A few have remarked on my spelling of dick, sex, horny. I have had this account for two years but never used it and never really use Reddit in general. I thought it was just like TikTok in terms of censoring certain words, so I treated it like TT when I wrote this post. I thought I needed to censor some words. Turns out, you can do pretty much anything here.
Also, the term "lover girlie" is a pop culture/Tiktok term that has now become synonymous to being a hopeless romantic. I am aware I am a middle-aged woman using Tiktok-speak. I am just trying to move with the times and I am a faceless someone on the internet. Saying that I am the problem because I indicated I am a "girlie" is showing that you have nothing important to say to a well-written post...because really? That is all you took from the above?