r/feeld

I know a few women on feeld who want a serious relationship but can't find anyone who wants to settle down. Even the ones who say they want something long term, very quickly disappear after one date or quickly change to 'looking for a bit of fun as they don't want any commitment'

So what is this mostly used for, people looking for fun or people wanting a committed relationship?

Is it a mix?

Asking for friends

Looking for honesty and can handle the truth. I know even the best male profiles struggle for matches.

What are the odds of a profile that is more on the discreet side having success on the app in today's day and age?

One of my play mates says I should join and I would do well but I think she was being nice and trying to spare my feelings.

I've been off feeld for a while and am now back on it, and I feel like I'm seeing more people saying that "hygiene" or "excellent hygiene" is a priority for them. One man had a razor emoji next to that in his bio. In your experience, do people just literally mean hygiene / showering / being clean or is it a euphemism for removing body hair?

Not seen this discussed on the forum before, so apologies if it has been.

I’m a straight male, based in London, which has thousands of profiles. You can move around different parts of London and you’ll never run out of profiles that are within 1km of your current location.

In the last year, I’ve noticed a handful of female profiles that pop up close to the top of my stack no matter where I am in London, and even if I hard reset it. One profile in particular would show up first for months. Has anybody else noticed this? I know (from this forum) that lots of straight men are concerned that nobody sees their profile, or even their likes, and that Feeld uses algorithms to encourage men to subscribe, so it seems to be common knowledge that they do mess around with the algorithm. But I’ve not heard anybody discussing these possible “God mode” profiles, what their purpose is, or how one would get one.

I have been on it ON and OFF, this time I have had the most chats than ever, maybe summer weather has something to do with it haha. I have around 15 chats, most of the ladies are majestic user, the chats would go well for 2-3 days and then the conversation dies(could be completely my fault but I try my best to keep chats interesting). Sometimes I will double next but not a third one to get a response.So around 15 chats, 3 in person meetings and 2 went towards ongoing play. Thats in a span of 2 months.

Might be a dumb question but would this impact my career somehow if I go into the military and later get a federal job?

Chill, this is just my opinion. You can unroll your eyes now.

When this year started, I (41F) finally decided to get myself out there after avoiding dating and shmex for a good couple of years, following a long-term relationship that fell apart rather quickly. I was ready, h0rny, and feeling confident again about my body, my mental health, just about everything. I was in a good headspace for dating, but I was clear about not wanting another relationship. I wanted LOVERS, cute casual dates, FWB with a big emphasis on the F, banter, flirting, regular play, all that good stuff.

A Feeld ad popped up on Instagram one day and I got curious after giving up on Bumble. So I signed up, and wow. In about a week I had almost 700 guys swipe on me, and it was a massive ego boost, even though I knew most of it wouldn't really go anywhere. My h0rny head was happy regardless. Finally, an abundance of d1cks after going without for almost five years. I was going to have myself a hot perimenopausal girl summer: date interesting men, wear cute and sexy outfits, explore the kinks I'd been wanting to explore since forever.

The reality, of course, was different. I am a lover girlie through and through, and I was naive enough to believe I could suppress that and not be affected when a connection fizzled, when communication slowed, when someone ghosted, when someone pursued me relentlessly before the first date and then just vanished. I was naive enough to believe my sensitivity to rejection and abandonment had been therapised out of me; that it wouldn't sting when Michael texted less and less, when Will didn't want to arrange a second play date, when Jake watched my stories but never answered my texts.

Turns out the lover girl in me still wanted consistency, good communication, to feel desired and urgently sought after, even after the first play. Instead, I had some one-night-stands that left me feeling used. I started wondering if I'm a lousy lay, or if there are simply so many men on Feeld that when I swipe back, I'm their only match: a placeholder until someone who actually catches their eye comes along. My mind raced in all directions. It stopped being fun.

Hot Perimenopausal Girl Summer is slowly turning into a case study on why people with my personality should never just do casual hookups or lovers. My psyche can't handle it. My inexperienced arse can't handle it. Or maybe the men just aren't doing it right. Either way, I'm calling time on HPGS. It's not worth the mental health I worked so hard to claw back after the breakup.

Maybe I'm a lousy lay. Maybe I'm too inexperienced. Maybe my body's not hot enough. Or maybe I'm just too much of a lover girl, with needs and standards no casual situation can fulfil and you know what, that's okay. Feeld isn't for me. But I wish the rest of you all the fun and the best.

EDIT: A few have remarked on my spelling of dick, sex, horny. I have had this account for two years but never used it and never really use Reddit in general. I thought it was just like TikTok in terms of censoring certain words, so I treated it like TT when I wrote this post. I thought I needed to censor some words. Turns out, you can do pretty much anything here.

Also, the term "lover girlie" is a pop culture/Tiktok term that has now become synonymous to being a hopeless romantic. I am aware I am a middle-aged woman using Tiktok-speak. I am just trying to move with the times and I am a faceless someone on the internet. Saying that I am the problem because I indicated I am a "girlie" is showing that you have nothing important to say to a well-written post...because really? That is all you took from the above?

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M20 in India here, i genuinely have no idea if i should even try making an account, cuz it feels like there would be more inactive/bot accounts than actual people on this app.

I’ll be honest, I have met the kindest, gentlest, most respectful men on Feeld compared to any other dating site. Of course, there have been a LOT of frogs, but of the men I’ve met IRL, Feeld has been leagues better.

I’m not a particularly kinky woman (but I am extremely open minded), but I am sex positive and ENM (without a primary partner).

Overall the feedback I’ve gotten is that women on traditional sites are super pushy about the “rules” and rigid about wanting a serious relationship. I’m looking for a long-term lover, not a FWB, but not making marriage my mission has been so freeing.

For context, I’m queer, divorced, early 40s, black, fit, in a major city and conventionally attractive. I left a toxic 13 year relationship, so maybe my view is skewed, but the openness, self-reflection, and honesty of the Feeldmen has been really refreshing.

My wife and I have been on FEELD for 6 months. We are looking for one particular thing and ghat is the ever elusive unicorn. We’ve made a couple of matches but then after a couple of days they just stop talking and disappear.

We figure if you’re on this app it’s because you’re looking for a specific thing. Seems like people are trying to use it as a dating app and to share their political views.

Are we just on the wrong app for what we’ve looking for?

I guess I’m confused about 90% of what people are actually looking for, since they don’t really explain it well.

I have to go off of their desires and I’ve seen a profile where the woman is “queer” doesn’t explain what she is wanting, just to “Message me” and desires an MMF.

What am I missing??

I'm a bi male and joined Feeld recently. It was pretty slow for a few weeks then within 48 hours I've had loads of likes from straight men, some hundreds of miles away. What gives?

I honestly haven't known about Feeld until recently. Is it better than Tinder? At least from what I read Feeld doesn't use stupid algorithm/ elo scores.

What are your experiences?

I’m curious: what is the general consensus here around appropriate response times on Feeld? Especially curious re: the staying at home core, as this is different from other apps.

I personally don’t think of Feeld as instant messaging. Maybe after a date/meet in terms of local matches, or after moving elsewhere in the case of staying at home/virtual matches, but otherwise I don't really expect to hear from someone throughout the day. 

Recently, I have experienced an uptick in connections expressing anger and/or frustration with my not being around to message whilst I'm working, or with only messaging during certain hours (like evenings/nights after work). I even had a match say that they were hoping I could find a day to spend a few hours of my time to text with them. 

Most often, this has been with matches from the staying at home core or with those who are "exploring" my city, but I didn't even experience this when nearly everyone was literally staying at home years ago. These people are generally not looking for relationships either, so it's a bit confusing to me.

I'd never had this problem in the past, and my only friends who use Feeld think it's unreasonable to expect responses throughout the day, but I wanted to see if there is any broader consensus is on this.

I’m 65, living in London and been off and on Feeld for several years. Mostly I notice that it doesn’t take much for a man to disconnect from me and appears to be because I don’t respond immediately to a message.

I turn off my notifications on the app because otherwise I find them too distracting so I may take a day to respond which I don’t think is a major deal.

I find it almost impossible to meet a man my own age. At the moment I am meeting someone on a casual basis just over a decade younger than me which seems to be the norm.

I enjoyed Feeld when it first started but tbh it now feels like tinder. There are very few people who really are experienced in alt lifestyles and most seem to be newbies more curious than anything.

I’m considering creating a Feeld account, but I’m honestly a bit nervous about it.

I’m a guy, 25 years old, and from what I’ve read and heard, men tend to have a much harder time on Feeld than women or couples when it comes to getting matches and conversations.

My intentions are genuinely good. I’m respectful, communicative, and not looking to waste anyone’s time. But I’m more worried about how I’ll handle the experience emotionally. I’ve used dating apps before, and I’ve noticed that I can be quite sensitive to rejection. When I get very few matches or don’t receive responses, it tends to affect my confidence more than I’d like. I don’t think I’m unattractive, but I’m also realistic. I’m probably somewhere around average-looking rather than someone who instantly stands out in a crowd. Besides that I don’t think I’m comfortable with posting pictures of myself on the app, I’m still in doubt about that.
So yeah, I’m still not sure whether I want to make an account or not.

I’d appreciate any honest perspectives or advice.
Thanks!

I’ve been on Feeld for a while, and I’m wondering if anyone else feels like the connections there are… almost too casual?

I’m poly and not looking for exclusivity, but I am looking for genuine, intentional connections that last longer than a few weeks. It feels like most people I meet are happy to keep things very low-effort or undefined.

Is this just the culture of Feeld? If you’re looking for lasting, quality connections (without looking for monogamy), where have you had better luck meeting people?

Bonafide size queen and I have high standards so I'm rather selective..

Of course I match this guy who LOOKS like my ideal type (tall, very fit, large bulge) and it winds up he's here on vacation which is fine, just give me all of that🤌🏼

We talk more and after some showing he's DROOL WORTHY (Tall, Face card 10/10, well over 9 inches and THICK) and once we talk about meeting up I find out..he flies out literally this morning😭😭😭

Lives in on the opposite coast and I feel like I missed my golden goose..

Like why does this always happen this way😮‍💨

I feel like the men I want are always either cheating on their wife secretly or the handsome young guns are never here for long.

At least I have the best material I've ever seen for my DJ time but I cannot seem to pin one down for an actual session😭

They are masters at keeping me on this app when I find that one needle in the haystack but I feel like my timing is horrible

It’s not rude to block someone when you’re not interested with persistent users but I get the same handful of guys sending me likes and pings more times than one can count and despite blocking, they always appear!

What’s the deal? They usually tend to have majestic so it’s not like they’re deleting and restarting their accounts but you’d think after sending a ping 20+ times, they’d take the hint that I’m not interested.