u/One_Net_1282

I have a hard time meeting sexual compatible partners on mainstream dating apps. I'm 45F, have a high libido, and am comfortable with intense sexuality once I'm into someone. Perhaps it's that sexual sensibilities are somewhat cultural. I live in the US but am from Europe originally and find attitudes here remain puritanical or, relatedly, porn-obsessed. I am tired of men who claim to "love sex" but can't communicate about it, don't read the room about what I find enjoyable, also don't follow direct feedback...

At the same time, I'm not into BDSM and the most "kinky" thing about me is that I love (receiving) breast worship and am a sensualist. I'm told that's "vanilla" on other subs.

Could Feeldl be for me?

I have been dating a guy for 4 months and we just had our significant disagreement. I let him know I felt a certain pattern had developed that isn't working for me. His response was that he doesn't "see" the issue as a problem. He would have left it at that. I let him know respectfully that I understand the situation works for him, but it doesn't for me, and I am wondering - do we want to work on this, or should we accept that this is an incompatibility?

8 hours later, he hasn't responded. We were supposed to meet tonight and nothing.

We're both in our late 40s. The "dynamic" I was unhappy with, FYI, was that I asked for more advance planning together for our weekends, the only time we can get together. I asked for us to decide by Thursday night when we're meeting that weekend. He is content to decide day-of. It's a style issue (vs schedule reason he can't decide in advance) but it's important to me.

I'm letting things be for now, but my patience is thin for this. I wish he'd either say no thanks, I don't want to work on this, or sure, let's. Silence - it's a response too. How long do I wait before I consider this unsalvageable?

I (48F) am 100 days into a relationship with someone (48M) that has felt promising in many respects. At the same time, I am struggling with communicating my needs.

Specifically, I would love to have a midweek date and occasionally talk on the phone during the week. Typically we have kept most of our dates to the weekend, and though he checks on me consistently via text, he doesn't ever call.

I've been "stuck" waiting for him to read my mind or want more, but he seems pleased as punch with how things are going. He's not low effort, but it's kind of compartmentalized.

I know it's high time I put on the big girl panties and just communicating what I'd like. I can do it in other contexts. So hard for me in a personal relationship.

Any words of wisdom?

There's a lot of dating advice out there for women about "doing nothing" in early dating in terms of initiating communication, texting, and planning dates. The idea is that if a man is attracted to you, "if he wants to, he will" and if he doesn't, it means you should move on because making it too easy for him means he'll never appreciate you, won't feel he "earned" you through effort, or you'll come off as too desperate.

I'm (47F) 2.5 months into an exclusive relationship (with a 47M). I like a lot of the dynamic and he communicates consistently via text and has made his interest clear. However, he never initiates calls to me (just texts). I've called him a few times and he always answers. I'd also like to see him more frequently. Currently we see each other on the weekend only and that feels sparse to me. His schedule would allow a midweek date so I wonder if I should initiate.

Should I pick up more of the initiation?

Three months into dating, my BF is a few weeks into experiencing a serious depressive episode. I knew about his history of depression but he'd thought it was well managed. From everything I see, he's doing all he can to address it (therapy, meds, informing all care providers and friends/family), and he's not over relying on me. He's been an excellent communicator about what he's experiencing vs hiding it.

It is, however, affecting his ability to show up as a BF. I see more negativity (not about me; about himself and life), and he's starting to cancel plans when he's overwhelmed and his ability to express interest in how I'm doing is diminished at times.

If this happened well into an otherwise solid relationship, it would be easier to weather. I don't know where the line should be. I have a full life otherwise and don't rely on him for validation, but this isn't what I'd choose for an early courting to look like.

Who's been there - on either side of the depression equation - and what would you advise?