u/Next-Honeydew9951

43F no kids.

I’ve used Hinge for a long time and found 2 long term bfs on it. I took a major break, like 5 years from age 38-42. Now it’s so different and I don’t know if it’s due to my age or if guys are using it differently.

I get an overwhelming amount of likes but the issue is, bland and boring profiles that tell me nothing about who the guys are. Pics are meh but I don’t worry about that because many ppl just aren’t photogenic.

I want to find my life partner, as I always have and so profession, education, kids, use of substances, religion, ethnicity and filled in prompts all weigh heavily on who I swipe right now. The issue is profiles are barely filled out so I’m forced to swipe based on pics but even they’re bad. I go through sprees of swiping right if I see a spark of potential but finding out basic compatibility info is like pulling teeth and exhausting… it should just be filled out to save everyone time.

Have guys changed how they use the app (ie barely filling it out) or am I just getting bottom of the barrel likes because of my age?

My profile has decent pics, is fully filled out and has lots of info to spark convo.

The whole Hinge experience is just so painfully exhausting now. Never in my life did I worry I’d be alone forever but now it feels that way.

I’m very much an emotion before sex girl. Im very ADHD and that makes me curious and open minded. To me the physical aspect of a relationship is the most intense, pleasurable, awe inducing, high inducing experience I could experience as a human.

I’m looking for a LTR that leads to marriage etc. Every man I’ve fallen in love with has ended up being very very vanilla.

So now that I’m single and looking again, I tried talking about kinky stuff earlier on in the dating process but then it’s all the men can focus on. I’m only talking about it to filter but they want to sext etc and since it’s before I’ve developed feelings, it’s a massive physical turn off and I lose all interest.

I joined Feeld but it’s hard to figure out who is truly kinky and seeking LTR vs kinky but casual vs just a horny dude wanting basic sex.

I genuinely don’t know what to do. I’m 43F and want my next relationship to be my forever partner but don’t know how to find him.

1. is Feeld the right place to find what I’m looking for?
2. If so, is there a specific way I should create my profile?
3. I paid for majestic so can see my initial likes and moved my profile to incognito because I started worrying my face is visible with my very kinky desires very obvious and it might be bad for my career. Bad strategy?

EDIT: I’m in Toronto

Kinda worried about this. Have a transfer in a few weeks and found out I need to do an in home appraisal. We live in Brampton. House is in fine shape but still worried as we put 20percentdown when we purchased in spring 21 and we are worried the value will be down so much that we will owe more than 80percent.

Anyone experiencing any shocks like this?

Hi everyone. I’m a 43 year old woman (never married and no kids), newly open to dating single dads now that I’ve decided to keep my career here (Toronto). I am approaching this with a genuine open heart.

I’ll be honest, I’m coming into this with both financial stability and financial anxiety. I’ve worked extremely hard to build financial security in a city where housing costs have tripled and that matters to me.

What I didn’t fully understand before is that men in their forties may be paying significant child support AND spousal support/ alimony combined, sometimes leaving them essentially cash poor despite having good careers. I don’t judge anyone for that of course. But I know myself well enough to know that significant financial disparity, on top of the complexity his previous marriage and kids would bring to our lives, would breed resentment over time. That wouldn’t be fair to either of us.

I recently spent a couple of months getting to know a single dad and while it didn’t end for financial reasons, it ended in a way I couldn’t have foreseen. Timing wise, I can’t afford more of that as I want to create a family with my future husband.

So how and when is it appropriate to get a sense of someone’s financial reality? I want to protect us both from incompatibility before feelings get involved, without making anyone feel interrogated or judged.

Any perspective appreciated.

Edit:

1. Not shaming a man for paying child support. He absolutely must and Id never consider a man who sneaks his way out.

2. I live in Canada, in particular Toronto. Canadians have SIGNIFICANTLY less disposable income than Americans and our tax burden is significantly higher. We also learn a lot less. Our housing has increased a lot more than Americans so all of this to be said, ppl are incredibly cash strapped even as 2 professionals married with kids, with no outside financial obligations. Many people are simply not even dating/marrying because they cannot afford to buy a home and have given up on life. Small old houses in undesirable neighborhoods are ~$1.5M. It’s a bit of a disaster here now so this is why I am worried.

I grew up United and loved all things to do with church. Life took me away from faith for many years. Now I’m in my early 40s and have been yearning for church. We are blessed to be surrounded by so many churches in the GTA.

I’d like to find a new church to call home.

I’m also single (female) so would like to find a church with singles in their 30s/40s, as opposed to one primarily attended by seniors.

I feel inspired and closer to god in beautiful, traditional churches with pews and stained glass windows. I’m not super into contemporary churches.

I’m curious to explore multiple types of traditional forms of Christianity to start.

I appreciate intelligent ministers/priests who give inspiring sermons.

Are there any denominations and specific churches that you can reco in Brampton or surrounding areas?

I (42f) opened my heart to him (44m). Just like he requested. His child got upset when he told her he wanted to start dating (post divorce). He has sole custody. He ended things between us.

It was only a couple months but I really fell hard for him. He seemed like the man I’d been waiting all my life for. It wasn’t limerence.

He ended it citing that his obligation to his children has to come first and since they couldn’t handle it he had to say goodbye. Shared that he felt so much for me, like I did for him but it was because he was falling so hard that he had to end it before we fell more, not wanting to cause either of us worse pain.

I don’t fault him for wanting to do right by his kids. It’s beautiful. I love his big heart. He’s sacrificing his health and happiness for what he believes is the most Honorable way to conduct himself as father.

I just wish he could see that us being together doesn’t have to come at the expense of his kids security, that I could help support him so that he can be an even better dad. And that his kids finally seeing a loving, healthy relationship could be healing for them. He just gives and gives to everyone around him and there isn’t an adult giving anything back to him.

He’s so depleted by being a 100% custody dad of adolescents, trying to be their everything all the while having a big senior level professional career.

I’m broken. I’ve not sobbed like this in years.

This was my first time dating a single dad. Are single dads risky for single childless women? Was this just bad luck?