u/Odd_Let5236

Anyone else feel like they are losing control because of the big changes that occur with b12. My OCD is running rampant and I have to keep checking to make sure I'm not in psychosis or completely losing my mind. I have to make sure that my thoughts still make sense, that I'm not losing my mind, even though I'm probably less insane than I was when deficient, and I just have an unrelenting fear that the solution shouldn't have been this easy and soon the floor is gonna fall out from under me and I'm gonna understand why the doctors didn't give me b12.

Holy shit I've thought there were 5000 different things wrong with me since I started taking the b12. But it's definitely slowed down and I think it's more of a sign that I'm back to my old self. But yeah I have spent probably the last month researching other neurological conditions and thinking I have them even when I literally didn't have the signs of any of them while simultaneously having one long existential crisis.

I have an extreme fear of losing control and hurting someone, and a lot of the time it feels like I'm seconds from dissappearing and my life is skipping frames. Then I convince myself I'm in some kind of psychosis or have some kind of brain disease but doctors can't find anything. And I have intrusive thoughts about life and death and the universe and sometimes have whole stories play out in my head of me just completely losing my mind and going to an insane asylum. I don't know if I can do this anymore. It feels like I'm too far gone or have schizophrenia. And it feels like I'm all alone. I can barely do anything because I'm constantly overthink and stuck in my head. And nothing feels real and it's terrifying. Even just looking at other people's faces is scary, everything just feels off, but deep down I know these are the same people I've known for my entire life. Sometimes I think about suicide, but I'm too scared to end my life because the existential thoughts kick in. I feel like I'm not human, but I know I am. It's just a constant battle. I have to make sure that I don't actually believe certain things because if I do, that means I'll develop schizophrenia, right? And I can't even be near drugs because what if the second hand high sends me into psychosis and I lose myself. And the sexual thoughts make it even worse. I keep thinking that deep down I'm actually a pedophile and I'm gonna go into psychosis and molest a child and not remember. And then I'm thinking, well if I'm thinking this much, maybe I'm already in psychosis, and I actually don't have OCD, and now I just think I sound stupid and I shouldn't even post.

So I am extremely stupid and the b12 I was taking was a brand called perfect amino and they put L-theanine and L-tryptophen in their blend which can interact with ssri's and cause serotonin syndrome. I assumed the serotonin syndrome symptoms were from b12 wakeup but that was not the case. Your b12 wakeup should not feel like a dmt trip. I'm pretty sure I almost died or did at least a bit of damage to my brain because I definitely had at least mild serotonin syndrome for like a few weeks but I'm at the hospital and things are fine now. Yeah so please do not do that guys.

I believe b12 was the cause of most of my mental health issues, however I think I do have horrible OCD even when my brain is at its healthiest. I'm on a couple of mental health medications, the most problematic probably being duloxetine, however I did not have the proper time to get off of it before starting treatment because things got so dire. Last time I went down from 60mg to 30mg it was hell, even just going down 10mg at a time every two weeks. I'm wondering though if I can do the b12 stuff then in a few months try to go off the duloxetine becuase I don't think I can bare much more anxiety right now. I'm also on 2.5mg of olanzapine and 100mg of topiramate. I actually went down from 5mg of olanzapine to 2.5mg because my psychotic symptoms were much better and it just makes me tired. I'm just wondering about long term if these will cause issues. I feel like I don't need the topiramate either because it was literally for tension headaches but they were caused by b12 deficiency.

I've just been staring at the wall thinking about how crazy I've been acting for the past few years. The b12 deficiency had profound psychological effects on me. It was like I thought the whole world revolved around me. I had no regard for anyone else's emotions, and I genuinely thought the whole world was playing some sort of trick on me and also that I had a special ability to feel physical sensations like blood running in my body and that the doctors were always lying to me when they did a ct scan that showed what I felt wasn't true. Gonna take a lot of therapy to get over this if I ever do. At least I'm probably not gonna die now and I can share my story to prevent others going down the same path but man the recovery is gonna be rough. Love you guys, thank you for literally saving my life ❤️

I think I'm on week 5 of taking b12. When I was deficiency I was at the point where I was hearing voices and I was basically going blind so it had to be done or else I was going to die, but now I want to kill myself instead. Every waking moment is filled with utter turmoil and dread. When I was extremely deficient, it physically felt like my brain was split in half. I was feeling things moving in my head constantly all day every day and there was in extreme tension in the bas of my head that would feel like razer blades in my head. sometimes I was hearing voices and everything felt dull and far away. I just thought I was broken or going schizophrenic but I just decided I had to live with it because I didn't know it could be caused by b12 deficiency. Now every waking moment I feel like I'm completely losing control, I'm gonna develop worse delusions, my brain is gonna shut down on me, it's actually something else, I should have never taken the b12, and it psysically feels like my brain is doing surgery on itself. I feel weird spiky rod sensations inside my head, I sometimes get extremely tired and go in and out of consciousness and have weird dream like experiences where I am almost hallucinating for a second but not entirely. Having terrifying thoughts about reality and consciousness and feeling like I'm shifting to a new level of consciousness or dying. New anger and frustration with the cognitive dysfunction that I didn't have before. Weird visual explosions of color and a reoccurring black oval at the top of my vision that seems to have gone away now. Also one night I woke up to go to the bathroom and everything had like a black shaky outline and would move when I moved my eyes but it went away now. getting an mri to make sure it's not a brain tumor but I don't think it is because I feel like some things have genuinely improved since I started the b12. Feels like I still have schizophrenic thoughts though, like I my brain is still half schizophrenic or something. I keep having intrusive extremely scary thoughts that I didn't have before, like deformed horror movie characters, but It's like I somehow only imagine half of it. I genuinely makes no sense. And sometimes it feels like I am surrounded by my own thoughts physically without hallucinating or anything, or psychically breaking through from one side of my head to the other and it genuinely makes no sense or I can feel blood rushing to my head . I truly feel like a medical anomaly because no one has ever been able to help me and no one seems to have experienced the same symptoms as me, which in itself is very isolating and causing me to lose my mind. I also have extreme DPDR at this moment where it feels like I'm skipping frames or going on autopilot which I think could be caused by the b12 deficiency and also the wakeup symptoms being extremely traumatic. It feels like I'm probably most definitely going to die or completely lose my mind to the point of being in a permanent state of psychosis where I'm just sitting there saying random things, but I'll update if I get better.

I'm probably 3 months into taking b12 and my symptoms were getting better for a while I thought, but now I just feel like a walking corpse. It constantly feels like I'm moments away from falling into a blackhole. My head feels empty. My life feels like it's skipping frames. I'm kind of wishing that tonight I will just fall asleep and this torture will finally all be over. Last night before I fell asleep I was hearing a women screaming in my head. I can not live like this, and sometimes I feel like I'm already dead

When I first developing megaloblastic madness, weed seemed to help somewhat, because I literally felt nothing and it helped me finally feel something, but one night I smoked too much and it gave me the most earth shattering paranoid experience that left me suicidal for months. Milder b12 deficiency I can't speak on, but if you suspect megaloblastic madness, DO NOT injest ANYTHING psychoactive imo for the rest of your life but arguably you'll probably be fine like 4 or 5 years into consistent treatment, I'm not really an expert, and I'm still recovering so I don't know for sure, but I'm probably going to avoid psychoactive drugs because of what happened, and the reason I know it was becuase of that is because I had completely normal, fun experiences with weed and mushrooms before all of this. Now I can hardly tolerate caffeine without freaking out.

It was also interesting because every time I would smoke weed I would get this terrifying feeling that something was extremely wrong with me and an intense sense of dread as I was developing megaloblastic madness, but I kind of liked the feeling for some reason

Unrelentless anxiety and doom. Feeling like the world is crumbling beneath me. Constantly feeling like I'm losing my sanity or about to just dissappear out of existence. Last night I could not sleep at all and I was in a delirious state where I was like seeing and hearing things for a few seconds and when I tried to sleep, It felt like I was sinking into the floor and I woke up drenched in sweat. It feels like I am trapped in a nightmare and there's no way out of it and no matter what I will end up being in a psych ward for the rest of my life.

I actually looked this up and apparently this can be a symptom of b12 deficiency, due to the nerves misfiring. It constantly feels like there are like worms moving inside of my head, or sometimes like a spiky rod in the middle of my head, except it's all just nerve misfiring in a very strange and constant way. I know that sounds batshit crazy, I feel like my case is probably a lot different than many other people's. It is the weirdest thing, but since I have been been taking a b complex and b12, it gotten to a point where it is tremendously easier to deal with and it feels like it is starting to go away. I wonder if anyone else has ever dealt with this symptom before

So I know it is well established that people experience wake-up symptoms for an actual b12 deficiency, but I'm curious if it is possible there are other distinctive wake-up symptoms if people are deficient in other b vitamins, either by themselves or alongside the b12 deficiency. For example, I believe I was thiamine deficient, and it is causing me to experience something outside the realm of most people's b 12 wake up symptoms. The reason I think thiamine deficiency on top of b12 deficiency is because I was mostly experiencing difficulties with coordination, and my symptoms feel very asymmetrical. I'm now taking a B complex that has a very high dose of thiamine in it, and I feel like my coordination is actually coming back, but I'm having the most insane, beyond human comprehension symptoms possible. It basically feels like the space in between the sides of my brain has been empty for a while and now they are being like pushed together. Yesterday it felt like the right side of my brain was being twisted like a corkscrew into the left side. Yes I've gotten an MRI and everything. I'm surprised I'm still alive, and fully accepting of the fact I may just have schizophrenia, but it also feels like my symptoms genuinely get better every day after this happens, so I don't know what to believe. Also a while back I went to the eye doctor and I had damage to my optic nerve on my right eye but apparently it got better, but I definitely have opthalmoparesis as my eyes do not work properly together. I also noticed Nystagmus, as my eyes would just violently shake when I closed them, but that seems to have gone away now that I started taking the b12 and b complex. I would try to see more doctors about the issue but the medical care system in America is ridiculous and I literally asked for a blood test from the neurologist and he said no, so I guess I'm gonna just have to figure it out myself.

TDLR; I think other B vitamins should be more thoroughly investigated on their effect on wakeup symptoms so people don't freak themselves out and not get their proper treatment. I'm actually having to take benzos right now because of how severe these symptoms are and the distress they are causing me.

I'm pretty sure I've been b12 deficient for like 5 years and I have become so accustomed to it that I am losing my mind when I try to correct it. It is too the point I almost want to stop taking it and just let it continue doing the damage because it is genuinely such a horrible feeling to go through trying to correct the deficiency. Last night before I went to sleep I felt chills down my spine, it was like I could feel the blood running through my spine. Then I just started absolutely freaking out. I felt really cold, and I felt tingling like inside of my head and I kept having random childhood memories running through my hea . And I had sharp back pain on my right side, but it kind of went away when I felt the flush of blood running through my back. It was a genuinely insane experience. I was like 100% sure I was going to die, but I just got some extremely broken sleep where I was like basically dreaming while I was awake and I was profusely sweating all night. It was honestly traumatizing, but like I genuinely feel better today despite literally being traumatized by what happened. I think my brain is a lot clearer today, but I am still quite shaken up by what happened yesterday. Maybe this really is a sign to stop taking it or that b12 really isn't the issue, but this is just fucking insane. I think I'm becoming schizophrenic or something

So a few months back I ended up in the psych hospital because I was experiencing paranoia, and exhibiting aggressive behavior. I have a neurological condition I am still trying to figure out, but instead of trying to aid me with that, they kept me in their for 7 days and almost fucking killed me, even though I went in there voluntarily by the way which is never fucking happening again. The first fault of there's was they didn't get me in there till 5 in the morning and I didn't take my nightly antipsychotic, so the next day I actually had my first auditory hallucination of my entire life. Then when I was getting assessed, I told them about it, and they diagnosed me with bipolar disorder which is the dumbest fucking thing I have ever heard because obviously if I'm awake for an entire day and withdrawaling from a medication that prevents hallucinations, I'm probably going to have a hallucination 🤯🤯🤯. Then they decided that because I was "bipolar," I could no longer take the cymbalta that I had been taking for years, because it might send me into a manic episode, so they just completely stopped it and I had to go through cymbalta withdrawals while I was in the hospital. The doctor also decided he wasn't going to give me my migraine/siezure medication, topiramate because I guess he thought it was being used as a mood stabilizer, but it's literally being used to prevent focal siezures and I had to tell him that like 10 times for him to finally put me back on it and for some reason they started me on a lower dose then I was actually supposed to take because they had to taper me up, so I wasn't taking the correct dose for like the entire hospital stay. They also decided I was going to go down on my klonopin at the same time as all of this, so I was also experiencing withdrawals from that. And then at the same time they decided to put me on two new medications, depakote, and gabapentin. 900mg of gabapentin btw. Because apparently that's less damaging than klonopin even though it's fucking not. But yeah the time where I think I almost died was one night I was profusely shaking, my entire body felt like it had a rod going through it and my mouth was bone dry, and the staff just got mad at me and told me to drink some water and go to bed.

So for like 3 years I've been going to psychiatrists and therapists for depression and anxiety but I think my symptoms were just because my nervous system was destroying itself. It got to a point it felt like I could almost feel my nervous system inside of my body and O would get burning and pain in my legs and I felt like I was going blind, seeing floaters, dots, and weird veiny things in my vision. I also had no energy but I would like never actually sleep. And when I would sleep I would wake up feeling more tired than I did the night before. It felt like I was operating on 60% efficiency and I thought I was developing MS or Alzheimerz even though I'm only 18.

My parents sent me to a rehab center for mental health and they found out my vitamin D was slightly low so they wanted to increase that but I also wonder if my B12 was low because they said I did not have MS and I didn't think it would make sense for my symptoms to be this bad without something like MS, especially considering almost everyone in the facility had low vitamin D but was not experiencing these symptoms. Anyways, I starting taking 1mg vitamin b12 like 2 weeks ago as well as a b complex and I'm still taking the vitamin D and I feel like I am experiencing the exact symptoms people call "wake-up" symptoms. I'm experiencing an extreme increase in energy. It feels like my depression is just completely nonexistent, but replaced by some anxiety and psychosis and random bouts of extreme fatigue. I feel like I'm actually getting my life back though. It feels like my brain was full of toxic sludge and it is being pressure washed away.