u/Odd_Let5236

I'm pretty sure I've been b12 deficient for like 5 years and I have become so accustomed to it that I am losing my mind when I try to correct it. It is too the point I almost want to stop taking it and just let it continue doing the damage because it is genuinely such a horrible feeling to go through trying to correct the deficiency. Last night before I went to sleep I felt chills down my spine, it was like I could feel the blood running through my spine. Then I just started absolutely freaking out. I felt really cold, and I felt tingling like inside of my head and I kept having random childhood memories running through my hea . And I had sharp back pain on my right side, but it kind of went away when I felt the flush of blood running through my back. It was a genuinely insane experience. I was like 100% sure I was going to die, but I just got some extremely broken sleep where I was like basically dreaming while I was awake and I was profusely sweating all night. It was honestly traumatizing, but like I genuinely feel better today despite literally being traumatized by what happened. I think my brain is a lot clearer today, but I am still quite shaken up by what happened yesterday. Maybe this really is a sign to stop taking it or that b12 really isn't the issue, but this is just fucking insane. I think I'm becoming schizophrenic or something

So a few months back I ended up in the psych hospital because I was experiencing paranoia, and exhibiting aggressive behavior. I have a neurological condition I am still trying to figure out, but instead of trying to aid me with that, they kept me in their for 7 days and almost fucking killed me, even though I went in there voluntarily by the way which is never fucking happening again. The first fault of there's was they didn't get me in there till 5 in the morning and I didn't take my nightly antipsychotic, so the next day I actually had my first auditory hallucination of my entire life. Then when I was getting assessed, I told them about it, and they diagnosed me with bipolar disorder which is the dumbest fucking thing I have ever heard because obviously if I'm awake for an entire day and withdrawaling from a medication that prevents hallucinations, I'm probably going to have a hallucination 🤯🤯🤯. Then they decided that because I was "bipolar," I could no longer take the cymbalta that I had been taking for years, because it might send me into a manic episode, so they just completely stopped it and I had to go through cymbalta withdrawals while I was in the hospital. The doctor also decided he wasn't going to give me my migraine/siezure medication, topiramate because I guess he thought it was being used as a mood stabilizer, but it's literally being used to prevent focal siezures and I had to tell him that like 10 times for him to finally put me back on it and for some reason they started me on a lower dose then I was actually supposed to take because they had to taper me up, so I wasn't taking the correct dose for like the entire hospital stay. They also decided I was going to go down on my klonopin at the same time as all of this, so I was also experiencing withdrawals from that. And then at the same time they decided to put me on two new medications, depakote, and gabapentin. 900mg of gabapentin btw. Because apparently that's less damaging than klonopin even though it's fucking not. But yeah the time where I think I almost died was one night I was profusely shaking, my entire body felt like it had a rod going through it and my mouth was bone dry, and the staff just got mad at me and told me to drink some water and go to bed.

So for like 3 years I've been going to psychiatrists and therapists for depression and anxiety but I think my symptoms were just because my nervous system was destroying itself. It got to a point it felt like I could almost feel my nervous system inside of my body and O would get burning and pain in my legs and I felt like I was going blind, seeing floaters, dots, and weird veiny things in my vision. I also had no energy but I would like never actually sleep. And when I would sleep I would wake up feeling more tired than I did the night before. It felt like I was operating on 60% efficiency and I thought I was developing MS or Alzheimerz even though I'm only 18.

My parents sent me to a rehab center for mental health and they found out my vitamin D was slightly low so they wanted to increase that but I also wonder if my B12 was low because they said I did not have MS and I didn't think it would make sense for my symptoms to be this bad without something like MS, especially considering almost everyone in the facility had low vitamin D but was not experiencing these symptoms. Anyways, I starting taking 1mg vitamin b12 like 2 weeks ago as well as a b complex and I'm still taking the vitamin D and I feel like I am experiencing the exact symptoms people call "wake-up" symptoms. I'm experiencing an extreme increase in energy. It feels like my depression is just completely nonexistent, but replaced by some anxiety and psychosis and random bouts of extreme fatigue. I feel like I'm actually getting my life back though. It feels like my brain was full of toxic sludge and it is being pressure washed away.