CoS Lore SUCKS (incredibly serious rant)
LORE
THE LORE OF THIS GAME SUCKS
ok ok reading the document
i will comment whenever i find something unusual or something that makes mE MAD
...
uh huh uh huh
ofc sonaria doesn't have a PERFECT CURVATURE
HAVE YOU SEEN EARTH
because it's explicitly stated the sonaria doesn't have a perfect curvature i'm going to imagine it being the shape of a BEAN because they had to explicitly state that its curvature wasn't perfect
anyways yeah yeah wardens do what they want with the land nothing really too eye catching with the first part
wait wait wait
"The flow of seasons is incredibly fast, as is the passage of time. This impacts growth rate, as well as climate conditions and aging of species."
THIS KIND OF IMPLIES THAT THE GROWTH RATES OF INGAME SPECIES ARE CANON!?!?!?!?!
IT TAKES TWO HOURS AND TWENTY MINUTES FOR A BABY CALDONTERRUS TO GROW INTO A FULLY GROWN ADULT
idk something feels off about that
like it would destroy the entire environment for a literal KAIJU MADE OF MAGMA THAT KILLS EVERYTHING IT SEES to fully grow in UNDER THREE HOURS
idk that's just me
ughhhhh what else what else
okay so the wardens made the individual creatures on different planets
THE WARDENS MADE THE INDIVIDUAL CREATURES ON DIFFERENT PLANETS???
i hope this image displays my issue with this
first they make the creature that is adapted to its own planet and its own environment
then they put it on sonaria with a totally different environment
then they see if it lives
OF COURSE IT'S NOT GOING TO LIVE
IT'S ADAPTED TO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ENVIRONMENT
JUST MAKE THE CREATURE ALREADY ADAPTED TO THE ENVIRONMENT OF SONARIA INSTEAD OF MAKING IT MORE LIKELY TO DIE ON IT
"oh choptamis maybe they are still studying sonaria" THEY HAVE HAD SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE UNIVERSE TO DO THIS I THINK THEY WOULD KNOW WHAT THE ENVIRONMENT THEY CREATED WOULD BE LIKE IN THIS TIME SPAN
"oh choptamis it says that they make the planets that the new creatures are made on similar to sonaria" THEN JUST PUT THE NEW CREATURE ON SONARIA IN THE FIRST PLACE
WHY WOULD YOU MAKE IT ON A DIFFERENT PLANET IF YOU ARE JUST GOING TO MOVE IT TO THE SAME ENVIRONMENT ON A DIFFERENT PLANET ANYWAYS
JUST MAKE IT ON SONARIA IN THE FIRST PLACE
"sonaria has become ecologically diverse due to this" NO DUH LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE SPECIES ON IT IS AN INVASIVE SPECIES OF COURSE IT'S ECOLOGICALLY DIVERSE
IT'S AN EVEN BIGGER ISSUE WHEN THE WARDENS ARE STUPID ENOUGH TO MAKE CREATURES THAT ARE THE SIZE OF 3/4THS OF SONARIA (AS SHOWN BY THE SKELETONS SCATTERED ACROSS THE MAP)
DO YOU KNOW HOW STUPID THAT IS
IT'S GOING TO DIE ONCE IT EVEN REALIZES IT CAN THINK WHY WOULD THE WARDENS BELIEVE A CREATURE THAT CAN'T EVEN MOVE A COUPLE OF STEPS WOULD SURVIVE
anyways
adjusts reading glasses
i'm currently eating tea and crumpets rn they're so yummy
rebirth and revival what's this?
...
okay so basically
if a creature dies it has a chance to be rebirthed or reborn
i am going to assume this is how it works because it seems even the lore itself doesn't know what it is saying
- creature lives
- creature dies
- creature is reborn
there that's how it works
however there is a secret ending that nobody knows of and i have only thought of
- creature reproduces like any other creature
nobody can disprove this as nesting is a mechanic ingame and as such if the creature that dies is a female it will reproduce
this leads to a cycle
a long long cycle that, several years after the first female dies and is revived, more members of the population will go
if all of the members of that population are resurrected after dying then OVERPOPULATION WILL OCCUR
here is a chart i hope explains it well
IF the creatures in the population die and are resurrected then THAT means that no members of the population are being lost
if those resurrected individuals are to then reproduce then that means that no members are being lost AND more members are being added to the population
you know what this means right
OVERPOPULATION
however that's hardly an issue when there are 446 species sharing a small group of islands with 80 of those species being kaiju-sized
unless....
OH MY GOD
this implies that any creature not mentioned in the document is not canon
and as such
only ELEVEN species out of all 451 creatures ingame are canon to the lore
not to mention that at any point these creatures could be KICKED OUT
LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO NOXULUMEN
they made an entire LSS EVENT based around his lore and how he was basically the antagonist of CoS's "story"
then a week later that DE-CANONIZED HIM
now he's stuck with the other non-canoners
poor guy
this does make me mad though
you can't exactly write any COHESIVE LORE when at literally ANY POINT
LITERALLY ANYTHING IN THE LORE COULD JUST BE THROWN OUT AND IGNORED
THERE'S HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WHO PLAY THIS GAME AND ONLY A COUPLE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE LORE BECAUSE IT'S SO INCONSISTANT
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE SONARIA IS LOCATED ANYMORE BECAUSE THEY CHANGED THE LOCATION LIKE
FIVE TIMES
FIRST IT WAS AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH
THEN IT WAS A PLANET
THEN IT WAS SOMEWHERE BACK ON EARTH BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON ONE OF THE DEVS OPENED THEIR MOUTH AND SAID HUMANS ONCE LIVED ON SONARIA
AND NOW IT'S BACK AT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE
MAKE UP YOUR FREAKING MINDS YOU LORE WRITERS
AAAAAH
anyways
sips tea
ahem ahem sorry it's a little hot
adjusts reading glasses
lip smack lip smack
warden lore is fine
there isn't really anything that's incredibly confusing about it
or maybe there is idk it's 10:00 pm i'm tired
novus warden is an actual warden now
if you didn't know there was a whole lore thing back then where it probably wasn't a warden but then the devs DECANONIZED THAT
GOD DAMN IT WE COULD HAVE HAD SOMETHING INTERESTING
AAAAH
ok ok
deep breaths deep breaths
"balance must always be maintained on sonaria" as shown by the stats of most creatures nowadays that is not the case
ok now we're at the keys
qualhul (boreal warden) is mad because the other wardens (besides eigion and angelic) went off-world to see an anomaly
for one WHAT KIND OF ANOMALY WOULD REQUIRE FIVE UNIVERSAL GODS TO TAKE CARE OF IT
hell i would rather see how that went than what is actually told to us
qualhul searches for the keys because he wants to take control of them
he finds rebus who coincidentally has all of the keys' locations documented in a journal
REBUS JUST SHOW QUALHUL THE JOURNAL
ALL OF THE KEY LOCATIONS ARE DOCUMENTED IN IT
IF I WERE FACED BY A UNVERISAL GOD I WOULD SURE AS HELL DO WHAT IT ASKED
ESPECIALLY IF THAT UNIVERSAL GOD WAS THE ONE I WAS MADE WITH THE SOLE PURPOSE TO SERVE FOR AND I KNOW THEY WOULD FREAKING SMITE ME IF I DIDN'T DO WHAT THEY ASKED
and then rebus gives qualhul the journal
AND THEN QUALHUL CAN'T READ IT???? WHAT???? HOW CAN YOU NOT READ THE JOURNAL???? IT'S A FREAKING JOURNAL IT LITERALLY HAS THE LOCATIONS OF THE KEYS WRITTEN DOWN JUST LOOK AT THAT
AND THEN BECAUSE OF QUALHUL'S ILLERTACY
QUALHUL'S KEY BREAKS AND NOW THE ENTIRE PLANET OF SONARIA IS DOOMED TO HELL
WHAT
THE FATE OF AN ENTIRE PLANET IS AT ARMS BECAUSE ONE OF THE EIGHT CREATORS OF IT PANICKED AND BROKE THE KEY
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
IMAGINE KNOWING THAT YOUR ENTIRE WORLD COULD FREAKING DIE BECAUSE A SINGLE FRAGILE ITEM COULD BREAK FROM ITS CREATOR MAKING AN OOPSY DAISY
AND APPARENTLY THESE KEYS CAN BE FOUND ON SONARIA AS WELL
IMAGINE IF A TINY LITTLE BELLUVARAPTOR WERE WANDERING AROUND IN A CAVE AND IT SAW A KEY
AND ITS LITTLE CURIOUS MIND DECIDED TO MESS WITH IT
AND THEN IT FREAKING BROKE THE ENTIRE THING AND NOW THE ENTIRE WORLD IS GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF THAT
DO YOU KNOW HOW STUPID THAT WOULD BE
OH MY GOD
IMAGINE EIGION WAS HAVING A BAD DAY AND WASN'T FEELING WELL WHILE THE OTHER WARDENS WERE HAPPY
"OH THERE'S AN IMBALANCE"
AND THEN EIGION'S KEY BREAKS BECAUSE THERE WAS A FROWN ON HIS FACE AND EVERYONE ELSE WAS SMILING
AND NOW THE ENTIRE WORLD'S GOING TO HELL BECAUSE ONE GUY WASN'T FEELING GOOD
DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN
AAAAH
anyways ahem ahem
...
okay okay
urzuk lore is fine
now to rebus
rebus was attacked and imprisoned by qualhul
jesus christ qualhul is stupid
imagine being fearful that the world you made would die
so you take the only person who knows where the keys are
asks for the directions
and then torture and imprison that person because you couldn't understand them
that was what happened to rebus and it makes zero sense
the doc says that the journal included literal MAPS and DIAGRAMS leading to the keys
HOW THE HELL CAN QUALHUL NOT UNDERSTAND MAPS and DIAGRAMS OF THE WORLD THEY MADE THEMSELVES
IT MAKES NO SENSE
the doc also says that the key fragments were HOPEFULLY found which made me giggle cuz it implies the devs were ready for the keys not to be found
then it also says rebus was recaptured at the end of the lore event
WHAT WAS ALL THAT FOR THEN
REBUS WAS GOING TO STAY CAPTURED ANYWAYS AND NOW THEY'RE PROBABLY JUST TRAPPED IN SPACE PRISON OR JUST FREAKING DEAD 😭😭😭
inkpujn were made to protect sonaria from catastrophies
THEY FAILED
THEY FREAKING FAILED
HOW THE HELL DID THEY FALL ASLEEP WHILE THE WORLD WAS NEARLY AT AN END
AND APPARENTLY THEY WERE MADE BEFORE THE EVENTS OF THE FIRST LORE EVENT HAPPENED SO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME THAT THEY WEREN'T MADE AT THE TIME BECAUSE THEY DEFINITELY WERE
IMAGINE MAKING A GUARDIAN FOR AN ENTIRE WORLD AND THEN NOT MAKING SURE THAT GUARDIAN IS DOING THE ONE THING IT'S MADE TO DO
OH MY GOD ALL OF THE WARDENS AND ALL OF THE URZUKS ARE STUPID
STUPID
SSSSSSTTTTTTUUUUUUPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDD
i'm oh_delivery and this is my rant