Double Standards in Attachment Discourse
Why is it always the other person's responsibility to become secure and never the avoidant's responsibility to meet the other person half way in all these youtube and tiktok videos? Why is everyone else expected to 'baby' and cater to or accommodate the avoidant? And if others don't accommodate the avoidant, avoidant people or other people say 'just don't get involved with them then'. "A truly secure person wouldn't even get involved with an avoidant"...as if being secure makes someone immune to want connection with an avoidant. I'm really tired of avoidants being catered to and every else is expected to either self-monitor endlessly, don't get involved at all, or get painted as 'too much' while the avoidant gets painted as the 'true victim' who gets away with everything and who everyone should either swallow their tongue or bend over backwards for or walk away from. Just seems like there's no middle ground.