3 days into it
Married 2-1/2 years. Together 5. Couples therapy for the last few months only to witness her emotional affair with a coworker happen right in front of my eyes. A mutual friend for years.
I knew it was going south. We had a wedding coming up next month we were both in and I figured after that she would call it done. Instead I had to watch as they just flirted over the weekend like fucking teenagers. I feel so betrayed.
Why can't you just say, "I want a divorce"? Instead I have to get stabbed out the door. I supported us and tried to give you the world. Times got hard and depression set in for me. You just lost respect for me. You focused on disappointment and lost trust when finances got tight. I was hurting so much. I was lost and I didn't know how to cope. I felt like I failed you and you made sure I knew it.
When you were lost? Hurting? Without direction or passion? I stood by you and enabled you to explore. I never admonished you for the executive disfunction at times. I never got angry with you when you when you spiraled or were lost. I just wanted you to be happy. I still do. You were my person. My rock.
I took the verbal abuse when you drank over the years. I dealt with the nights when you crashed out, screaming at me over bullshit. Our friends that I've confided in for years are relieved for me that I'm free of those nights. But I just feel like I held on through all that pain, for what? Being hurt like this? Being shown that you couldn't give a fuck less about my feelings? My pain?
There's so much more. Just so so so much more and I'll never be able to articulate to you this hurt. I hope you have a blessed life. I hope you move on and get the help you need. And I HOPE you have some semblance of understanding of how much that cut me.
Edit: Just to clarify, she admitted to it Monday.