I taught primarily Afghan (and Ukrainian) women and children English part time. This was arguably the most difficult job I’ve ever undertaken and it contributed a lot to my overall demoralisation and loss of hope for the country. Incidentally, I handed in my notice as it was having a huge impact on my mental health and I needed to focus on my full time job. I selected a few which have been anonymised, edited and rephrased to make them clearer to understand with a brief description of context.
A mother, Afghan- husband translated:
“She looks at the women here with jealousy. My wife never got to study, she is illiterate. These western women don’t appreciate what they have.”
A schoolboy, Afghan:
“Why does everyone in the west have depression? What can possibly make them sad?”
A young woman, Afghan:
“I used to be pious. Now I lost my religion.”
A schoolgirl, Afghan:
“I want to be a doctor because my sisters died from the well water in Nangarhar.”
A mother, Afghan:
“My child doesn’t need this help. I won’t be taking them to speech therapy, they don’t have […]. You westerners make up illnesses for everything. They’re perfectly fine.”
A schoolboy, Afghan:
“I came from a fucking village with no education, I can’t even read Pashto or Dari never mind English! I need more lessons if I want to be something!”
A mother, Afghan:
“I wanted to become a doctor. I even got a top result for the kankor and won a place at Herat University, but my parents didn’t let me go because it was too far away. I became very sad and upset so they married me off because they didn’t want to look after me.”
A young woman, Afghan:
“I threw five years of my life in pharmacy school at Kabul. Here in the UK, the GPhC doesn’t recognise my degree. It’s more worthless than toilet paper.”
A young man, Afghan:
“My case was accepted to come here because I worked with the Americans. My fiancé is still in Afghanistan. It’s been five years and her parents broke the engagement because I can’t bring her here. I loved her since I was a child. It was all for nothing.”
A male refugee, Afghan:
“Why does Allah hate me to make me born in that country?”
A little boy, Afghan:
“Everyone bullies me. I wish I wasn’t Afghan.”
The funniest one I’ve heard came from an Afghan men I had khozgori from and I’m quite sure he learned it from social media:
“I know you like mantu, but one day can it be man and tu?”
I also heard a terrible one from my cousin back home after a cow was slaughtered for Eid:
“Eehna, moordagaw ast.”
If I see another marriage or “can I marry this Afghan girl” or “this Afghan boy’s family won’t accept me” post, I will shoot my self in the face with a 12 gauge shotgun.
It’s 2026, marry whoever you want, Afghans are not evil people. The important thing is to find common ground and do all the relevant checks before (secret first wife? Do they want you to live with in laws? How are they with finances? Criminal record? Credit score? What are their expectations of your roles? Etc etc).
Now that I got that out of the way, can anybody who sees these posts please report them so they can get taken down? I’m sick of the circular discussions and the same advice- or butthurt complaints- being given. This is not an agony aunt or dating advice subreddit but too many of you are treating it like one or to air out your bigotry.
If you want to ask these questions, go to r/MuslimMarriage. Afghans are not different from other Muslims when it comes to expectations of foreign prospective grooms/brides (religiosity, finances, career, personality etc).
Thank you.
If I see another marriage or “can I marry this Afghan girl” or “this Afghan boy’s family won’t accept me” post, I will shoot my self in the face with a 12 gauge shotgun.
It’s 2026, marry whoever you want, Afghans are not evil people. The important thing is to find common ground and do all the relevant checks before (secret first wife? Do they want you to live with in laws? How are they with finances? Criminal record? Credit score? What are their expectations of your roles? Etc etc).
Now that I got that out of the way, can anybody who sees these posts please report them so they can get taken down? I’m sick of the circular discussions and the same advice- or butthurt complaints- being given. This is not an agony aunt or dating advice subreddit but too many of you are treating it like one or to air out your bigotry.
If you want to ask these questions, go to r/MuslimMarriage or r/Nikkah. Afghans are not different from other Muslims when it comes to expectations of foreign prospective grooms/brides (religiosity, finances, career, personality etc).
Thank you.