How to get over him
Im sure there’s been countless posts like mine. But here it goes.
I’ve been seeing my ex in and off for the last 3 years. I’m not dumb I know he’s not a good partner. I don’t want to go into details but when we broke up it was because he was throwing things at me and stole my belongings in his car. Essentially I had to call the cops because he was violent as well. When I talked to him again after half a year he told me he had a court case against him for choking his ex.
I don’t know why I keep coming back to him. It’s addictive. I know he’s going to emotionally hurt me, but in my head I racionalize that because we weren’t dating whatever he did or whoever he did wouldn’t bother me. It was almost like a guard to protect me.
He would swear to me that he loved me and that he wanted to take care of me, even when we weren’t officially together. It’s important to note that because I was under the impression that he still wanted to be together, but I know I would yet again reject him.
However, this past weekend something changed. I’m not sure if it was spending so much time together or him taking care of me after surgery. But when I saw his messages to other people I got mad. I basically crashed out and went through his phone. He had sex tapes of other women, messaging them while him and I were in dates. He even tried to make a date with someone while I was with him, he lied and said he was going to his parents when I knew he wasn’t.
I will say he has asked me to be his gf again multiple times through the years, but I’ve repeatedly said no because I know how he is. But I always come back to him. Every time. Now it feels different, like I know he doesn’t prioritize me, which I know is wrong because we’re not together. But him saying all the things I want to hear maybe confused me.
I’ve been trying to go no contact but it’s so hard. I keep blocking and unblocking him every day. And I still call him at night sometimes.
How do I get over him? I’ve tried blocking, I’ve tried dating, I’ve tried distracting myself, journaling, going out. Everything. But nothing works. I know I don’t want to be in this cycle, but how do I stop it. How do I just forget a loser like him?