▲ 1 r/footballmademesmile+1 crossposts

My Brazilian ex-husband gave me two children, a divorce, and love of futebol I never asked for. I have chosen to redirect this expertise entirely toward the coaches. I think it's time to give them the love they deserve. Are we talking about the coaches enough?

When group stage matches lingered at 0-0 way too long, I did some serious research. I watched the press conferences. I read the Wikipedia pages at midnight. And I am here to tell you that while everyone is looking at the players, the real story is on the sideline.

Mauricio Pochettino owns a vineyard in Argentina and chose to sign with Bordeaux as a player specifically because it is, in his words, "the best wine region in the world." He smells Argentine red wine when he is sad. The US Soccer federation brought a bottle to their first meeting with him. He was farming at age 12. I am not okay.

Carlo Ancelotti grew up milking cows on a farm in northern Italy and every Christmas he personally cooks tortellini in homemade broth for his entire family because, and I quote, "I am a good chef. I can cook wherever I go." He is 66 years old. He is coaching Brazil. I would like him to cook for me.

Julian Nagelsmann is 38 years old, wears fashion, and once blasted a German children's cartoon theme song outside training to prevent opposing spies from overhearing his tactics. He is baby. He is also a genius. These things are not mutually exclusive.

I'm making a bracket called El Capo Guapo de la Copa for my friends and I. I’ll share it June 27 when knockout rounds begin. 💋⚽️✌🏻

reddit.com
u/Ok-Designer7639 — 13 days ago

My Brazilian ex-husband gave me two children, a divorce, and love of futebol I never asked for. I have chosen to redirect this expertise entirely toward the coaches. I think it's time to give them the love they deserve. Are we talking about the coaches enough?

When group stage matches lingered at 0-0 way too long, I did some serious research. I watched the press conferences. I read the Wikipedia pages at midnight. And I am here to tell you that while everyone is looking at the players, the real story is on the sideline.

Mauricio Pochettino owns a vineyard in Argentina and chose to sign with Bordeaux as a player specifically because it is, in his words, "the best wine region in the world." He smells Argentine red wine when he is sad. The US Soccer federation brought a bottle to their first meeting with him. He was farming at age 12. I am not okay.

Carlo Ancelotti grew up milking cows on a farm in northern Italy and every Christmas he personally cooks tortellini in homemade broth for his entire family because, and I quote, "I am a good chef. I can cook wherever I go." He is 66 years old. He is coaching Brazil. I would like him to cook for me.

Julian Nagelsmann is 38 years old, wears fashion, and once blasted a German children's cartoon theme song outside training to prevent opposing spies from overhearing his tactics. He is baby. He is also a genius. These things are not mutually exclusive.

I'm making a bracket called El Capo Guapo de la Copa for my friends and I. I’ll share it June 27 when knockout rounds begin. 💋⚽️✌🏻

reddit.com
u/Ok-Designer7639 — 13 days ago

My Brazilian ex-husband gave me two children, a divorce, and love of soccer I never asked for. I have chosen to redirect this expertise entirely toward the sidelines. Are we talking about the coaches enough?

When group stage matches lingered at 0-0 way too long, I did some serious research. I watched the press conferences. I read the Wikipedia pages. And I believe that while everyone is looking at the players, the real story is on the sideline.

A few things you might not know about the coaches that I’m dying to share:

Mauricio Pochettino owns a vineyard in Argentina and chose to sign with Bordeaux as a player specifically because it is, in his words, "the best wine region in the world." He smells Argentine red wine when he is sad. The US Soccer federation brought a bottle to their first meeting with him. He was farming at age 12. I am not okay.

Carlo Ancelotti grew up milking cows on a farm in northern Italy and every Christmas he personally cooks tortellini in homemade broth for his entire family because, and I quote, "I am a good chef. I can cook wherever I go." He is 66 years old. He is coaching Brazil. I would like him to cook for me.

Julian Nagelsmann is 38 years old, wears fashion, and once blasted a German children's cartoon theme song outside training to prevent opposing spies from overhearing his tactics. He is baby. He is also a genius. These things are not mutually exclusive.

I'm making a bracket called El Capo Guapo de la Copa for my friend group. Anyone else looking for a more fun way to watch the World Cup? 💋⚽️✌🏼

reddit.com
u/Ok-Designer7639 — 13 days ago