u/Ok-Flan-7962

Quick background: I work as an analyst at a small regional bank. A few months ago, a senior person in my department left and the role became vacant. I applied for it, and my manager told me that I was their first choice and that they intended to move me into it.

But now more than a month has passed with no actual change, and every time I ask for an update, a new explanation comes up. I feel like they're ultimately just stalling. At the same time, the old company I used to work for contacted me and offered me a similar senior role.

Would you accept the outside offer and stop waiting, or give the current company more time to follow through on what they said?

Honestly, I don't understand what's wrong with me. I look at my parents and see that they worked for most of their adult lives. Sure, if they had the choice, they probably wouldn't have worked either, but they seem to have accepted it and just keep doing what has to be done. I'm the complete opposite. I'm tired all the time and I don't want to work anymore.

The part that makes it harder to understand is that my situation isn't even bad on paper. A lot of people would probably be happy to have my circumstances. I work from home. I don't make a ton of money, but I can cover my bills and still have a little left over for random things I want. And I just got back from a 10-day trip abroad. Even so, I spend a large part of my day thinking about passive income and wishing I could retire right now and use my time for the things I enjoy.

I don't like my job, but at the same time I have tens of thousands in student loan debt from a master's degree in this exact same field. So it's not like I can easily convince myself to start from scratch. I don't even feel motivated to look for a higher-paying job related to my degree. The idea of doing more of this same thing, even for better money, makes me feel drained.

I know I probably sound ungrateful, and that's part of what bothers me so much about this. I have a "good" situation compared to a lot of people, but I still hate the idea of working day after day.

Is anyone else in a good situation on paper but still feels like they can't stand working?

Would you choose an $82,000 remote job or a $118,000 office job?

The commute to the office is 45 minutes there and 45 minutes back. I'm 27, unmarried, and have no kids. I have a lot of interests and side projects that I really want to give proper time to, so that makes the remote job hard to give up. Also, I'm not exactly in love with the field both jobs are in anyway, which is energy, but yes, of course having a stable income right now is very important. And I'll also need a car either way, because I'm not planning to stay sitting at home forever just because I work from home:)

After taxes, the real difference in what ends up in my pocket is closer to $28k. I'm currently a contractor in my $82k remote job, and they temporarily placed me with the company whose work is office-based. That company liked my work and offered me $118k, but my current employer came back and offered me fully remote assignments if I stayed with them. So in practice, I've tried both setups instead of just guessing.

The office job honestly made me miserable. An office on a lower floor with no windows, dark commutes in bad weather, coming home drained, and having almost no energy left for friends, fitness, hobbies, or even basic errands. I was sitting there the whole time trying not to lose my mind at the desk.

By contrast, my WFH setup gives me shorter workdays, usually around 5 hours, and room to breathe and keep building my skills in web development, which has brought me a few paid opportunities. I can cook, work out, see people, and feel like I'm a human being instead of constantly recovering from work.

I understand the argument that I should grab the $118k job while I'm still young. But why burn through the end of my twenties in a job I already know I'm eventually going to leave? I'd rather use this stage of my life to build something I genuinely care about, while also having stable remote income that's enough for me.

what do you think?

Background: I started as an IT field tech about 6 years ago, and then when Covid hit, I found myself moving to our warehouse and taking on a supervisor role. Fast forward to about 14 months ago, I was promoted to Ops Manager and became responsible for the warehouse, the field techs, and a small group of project coordinators. The salary increases have been excellent and have allowed me to build a pretty comfortable life: my own apartment, a newer car, not stressing over every bill, and so on. But honestly, I hate my workday, and most mornings before I go in, I get a heavy feeling in my stomach.

The issue I'm stuck on is that this is still my first real job after school, so I don't have much outside experience I can point to. I have an associate's degree in a completely different field, and I don't see it helping me much in any future roles. I also have no desire to work in that field anyway.

What I enjoy is project management. I don't have any certs right now, but I regularly manage multiple projects and client requests. My current role is basically a mix of people management, project coordination, operations, and customer service. The people management part is what's draining me. I used to have a lot more patience when employees had personal issues or performance problems, but lately I feel like I've become irritated and am turning into the kind of manager who only cares that the tickets get closed, the routes get covered, and the day ends.

On the other hand, I genuinely like the project/customer side of the job. I like building cleaner processes, solving bottlenecks, keeping clients in the loop, and making things run more smoothly so customers don't stay frustrated. That part of the job still gives me energy.

I'm fairly confident I can present my current responsibilities as project management experience, and maybe get my foot in the door somewhere else, but I also expect I'll probably have to accept a pay cut and maybe even take a step back in title. A few friends of mine have also been pushing me to move to the Southeast, and honestly I'm very interested in the idea, which makes the thought of leaving even more tempting.

Guilt is a big part of what's confusing me. In terms of salary and career growth, I know I'm in a very good place with my current company. They've put a lot of time, money, and trust into developing me as a leader. Leaving makes me feel like I'm throwing away the last 6 years of progress we built together and wasting their investment in me.

Any advice from people who left a well-paying job because it was mentally wearing them down?

I've been applying nonstop to get out of a field I chose after college only because I thought it might be interesting. Now I feel trapped in it, and the skills I've built don't align with the kind of lateral move I'm trying to make.

I could say I'm starting to lose hope, but honestly, I'm not sure there's much left to lose. I knew changing paths wouldn't be easy, but I didn't imagine that finding a new role would be this brutal.

It's been about three years since I had those three options in front of me, and I can confidently say I wish I had chosen differently. The small positive, I guess: at least realizing that this isn't what I want is a small step toward figuring out what I do want.