im just a useless drug addict,lol >_<
im 16M,was exposed to alcoholism from my mother and heavy drug abuse by my brother ever since i was like 9,back then i was too young to understand why were they stumbling home and throwing up everyday,i thought they were sick so i always made them tea and bring them blankets when they passed out
it started with normal stuff when i was 13-14, little alcohol,smokes n stuff,by my mid 14 i was already a full blown alcoholic,benzo addict and more because i learned to cope that way with absolutely unspeakable things i saw and experienced,that was about the time i started to SH heavily to the point where my arm looked like an angry toddler drew on it with a red crayon, lmao
by 15 i have tried mdma,speed,4-5 diff benzos,GHB(which i ODd on and my mother found me barely breathing with sweat LITERALLY soaked THROUGH the mattress which is about a little less than a foot thick),cocaine,weed and synth cannabinoids,tramadol,suboxone, morphine,LSD and LSA and probably more
i am not addicted to a single thing but whatever i can get, everything i do(like going to school) is just so i can get lunch money to buy drugs,i literally starve all day till i come home,which is sometimes untill 2pm, sometimes till 8pm depending on if it starts in the morning or afternoon
i cant even go to rehab or speak about it because i would just get punished,even as im writing this i did a whole g of coke in one go like 2 hours ago
its ruining my relationships,me,my future and everything else,the only time im a functional member of society is when i dont have money to buy drugs
i got no idea what to do or when this will stop(maybe when i finally fatally OD lmao) but for now we rollin >_<