College just finished and I feel like I missed it.
[Please share your perspective it means a lot]
First thing, last 3 years of my life were the toughest years of my life, 6 months ago I finally got diagnosed with ADHD, all my college life I suffered from depression and a lot of stress because I was trying to figure out what is wrong with me.
This is not a sad story :), I finally got my diagnosis in last sept and my treatment ended in this march.
Also this year I achieved my dream(can't tell about it because then it will be very easy to doxx me, but it is something very big and more importantly very special to me).
Has been 1.5 months since I achieved it.
So I am set for career, I feel very proud about how I came out of this difficult phase of my life and was not only able to identify what is wrong with me, get a diagnosis from doctor and start treatment, maintain a good cgpa and achieve my dream ambitions,while going through so much stress and pressure.
I worked very hard sacrificed a lot, and finally everything has started to fall in place.
But today my college ended, and I feel bad for the time I was not able to spend with my friends, for the relationships that would have been.
I have friends, great friends, but in order to come out of this shit hole I had to make a decision at the end of my first year, that I must sacrifice my clg life if I want to have any chance in this world.
Idk how I feel, I am sad I am tired and I just want clg to go a little longer so I can keep having those dinners in cafetiere and all the fun we had in clg.
But just when I am about to regret my clg life, I also remember that what more can I ask from myself ?
I am not saying this as self absorbed or egoist thing.
Is it fair to ask more from myself? I did things that enen I didn't know were possible, people didn't know it was possible for a normal person to do these things let alone a disabled one.
I really want to ask someone what more could I have done?
I am very well now, my treatment has almost solved all my problems, I am very social, I am very smart, good at time management etc.
But like I want my clg life too.
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Just a rant, needed to get this out of my chest, since I can't really tell people about my condition. (I got diagnosed only 6 months ago, this is still new to me)
I am going to pick myself up, I still believe I can build the life I want, I had the same mindset during these 3 years, and I still have the same.
Idc if I have ADHD or 1000 more disabilities, I will decide how my life will go.
Don't worry about me, hope you all, all the best for your journies.