u/Ok-Seaworthiness9111

The story of a certain Disney princess is just Zeus's Titanomachy, sanitized for modern audiences

The story of a certain Disney princess is just Zeus's Titanomachy, sanitized for modern audiences

Zeus is a master of disguise. His disguises are so convincing that they don’t just survive casual inspection, they pass the most intimate scrutiny. Zeus has also learned a hard lesson about the need to stay in disguise - revealing his true form led to the incineration of his lover Semele. And then he had to have a fetus sewn into his thigh. Not a mistake he’s going to make twice.

But Zeus, starved of worship, has hidden himself as a Disney princess, and his identity can be unmasked by piecing together his origin story:

  • The titan Cronus learns that he is destined to be overcome by his own children, just as he had overthrown his father.
  • Cronus tells his wife Rhea to give him Zeus, but Rhea tricks Cronus by giving him a stone to swallow.
  • Zeus is sheltered by the Kouretes, rustic gods of the wild mountainside
  • Zeus returns in disguise and tricks Cronus into drinking a poison.
  • After a war, Zeus overthrows Cronus to take his place as the ruler of the gods.

There is exactly one Disney princess whose story matches Zeus's story beat for beat. And it happens to include the only Disney villain killed by a lightning bolt.

Extra Diegetic: Just as Zeus is the undisputed ruler of the Greek pantheon, this is the first of the Disney princesses and kickstarted the entire franchise. To this day, her film remains the most successful Disney animated movie of all time, boasting a massive estimated lifetime inflation adjusted worldwide gross of over $2.3 billion.

disney-pantheon.com
u/Ok-Seaworthiness9111 — 5 days ago

The 13 Disney princesses are the 13 Greek gods in disguise

I built an interactive website that maps all 13 Olympians to their Disney princess counterparts through similarity scoring of their attributes, with commentary on each match.

"Just as Ares, the god of war, is overshadowed by Athena, the god of war but better in every way, we are looking for the other princess of war, whom people vaguely remember."

"Hera is the angry goddess. The princess must have a temper."

"Apollo is Phoebus, meaning brilliant, and Chrysokomes, golden-haired."

"But where's the wine? Dionysus is the god of wine. No wine, no Dionysus. I don't care if it's a G-rated Disney movie and all the official Disney princesses are underage."

u/Ok-Seaworthiness9111 — 6 days ago