I’ve been completely isolated for 2 years and it’s crushing me. Need advice on how to beat this apathy.Will I be able to overcome this?
I’ve been living in total isolation for 2 years now. And I don’t just mean living alone at home — I mean having zero human connection. It’s completely wearing me down. I come home exhausted after a brutal 15-hour shift, check my phone, and all I have is 4 notifications: 2 from my mom, one from Reddit about a new post, and one from Pinterest.
I really need some advice on how to get out of this apathy. Putting myself out there and socializing is incredibly hard for me because everyone seems so fake. It feels like people are playing dumb on purpose, and watching it is honestly disgusting. It terrifies me to think that I’ll never be able to find acquaintances or friends. I just can't fit into society like a normal person. Everyone irritates me, and when I look at people my age, I just see my past self.
I’m writing this post just to get it off my chest because I have literally no one to share this with. Whenever I try telling someone, they immediately go, "Oh come on, that’s actually great! No one’s texting you, no one’s bothering you." And all I can think is, Why did I even bother opening up to you? If it were great, I wouldn't be telling you this.
I started working hoping I’d meet new people or make friends with my coworkers, but these people don’t even know who Hitler was. Like, holy shit, where did I even end up? Sometimes the 15-hour shifts help me forget things when it gets chaotic, but at the end of the day, it all surfaces back like a piece of shit, and I’m sad and lonely all over again. Work has started draining me even heavier, and my sleep schedule is completely trashed. I can only fall asleep around 4 or 5 AM, waking up when it's already night the next day. Other times I just stare at the ceiling for an hour. It depends on the day and my mood.
Thank you if you read this far. If you're going through something similar, let's try to support each other.