4 yr fiance unsure how to move forward
First time poster here. Im sure most of you relate to this and I 26m am just here now, after sending my fiance 32f a text saying" if me asking for mutual respect and space for both of our emotions is in any way selfish to her, then I don't know how we can move forward" she has deflected any further conversation in anger saying she's not going to discuss her emotions right now. Which i can respect because clearly after reading other people's stories and trying to figure out how i can better help her, (outside of telling her to fuck off to the bedroom that is) her normal cycle is her being insecure telling me i should go find someone better and more calm, however every word of affirmation is met with anger while we're going through this time.
My fiances monthly cycle routine is normally about a week of constant berating yelling crying and telling me I'm wrong or that I'm not doing enough. Then we have a week of good, then a week of ovulation where she's the same as her luteal unless I am able to bring myself to be intimate, or I start intimacy while she's sleeping ( this is concentual and she has asked me to do this so there's no shift in her brain to an intimate place. She just wakes up to her brain being there) then the week before reentering luteal is amazing until we hit that wall.
Of course I have My own PTSD stimuli (this is diagnosed) where yelling or berating sets me off and makes it really hard for me to communicate. Which unfortunately comes off onto our children because we have 1 parent who's yelling and the other who can't bring themselves to speak.
Of course I know continued therapy for my PTSD will help my triggers.
We have 1 shared child our 2 year old son and she has 2 children a 5 year old boy and 10 year old daughter
I absolutely adore these children and am deathly afraid of losing my son. I understand the possibility that since I have no rights to the older 2 I could end up not allowed to visit them period.
- my hope is someone here will be able to help shed some light onto how i can support both myself and her during these times, or sometimes is it almost hopeless and maybe i just need to do my own soul searching to decide if this is something i can live with. Unfortunately I am too the point where maybe I just need to leave the relationship.