At my wits end - how to move on?
I don't think I can ever get used to this. I'm in tears tbh I know it shouldn't be that deep but from the antiblackness that's been happening on twitter the past month with people pointing out that kpop is just our culture repackaged, to the back-to-back antiblack behaviors from certain groups and idols, to now this shit from Simon Dominic.
Every video that comes on my feed of people calling idols and soloists out is just a digital l*nching in the comments tbfh and its been wearing me down so bad. When I was a child kpop was the one thing that could pull me out of my depressed state. I grew up listening to this coon and I should have known he wasn't shit considering he had a whole company with Jay Park but still seeing this durag in his new MV and then listening to the chorus of another song from his new album that sounds so eerily like the n word it made me recoil - I just can't do it. I want to walk away from non-black artists completely because of the amount of disrespect like I couldn't even enjoy xlov fully because Hyun was wearing a durag in the last comeback and they just constantly remind me that the behaviors that the world considers queer culture is Black queer culture and it feels like minstrelsy sometimes...
But how do I fully breakup with this shit? Has that is neurodivergent and struggles with hyperfixations and special interests tried? I've invested so much money into this industry and over a decade of emotional labor that its damn near stockholm syndrome atp and I just need another special interest to take over this one so I can stop torturing myself with racism every damn day.