A post I've been wanting to make for a while.
Im not sure how long this will be, so im sorry if this ends up being disorganized because I really cant think at the moment yet i really feel like getting this out
I can't get myself to eat more than once every few days (Minimum, sometimes I go over a week) Im constantly trying to hurt myself in some type of way (Cutting, hitting, ect) I don't take my meds whenever I'm supposed to (Migraine pills) And if I do its never on time which just makes my head hurt more. I don't like talking to people (Not that i have a wide range, I only have 1 irl friend) Yet i hate being alone. My used to argue a lot because of my dad but they don't as much now and he's trying to "Improve" yet it feels so forced and fake. My parents have openly said that they dont like me to my face and don't listen to anything I say. I feel like a trophy to them. My dad tried to shoot himself in front of me a few months ago and I'm still not over it, I'm still scared of him and I feel selfish. I wish I were dead and have deeply considered killing myself a lot as of recently. I'm not allowed to leave my house alone and I feel so trapped and isolated.
If anyone has anything to say please let me know because I don't know how to help myself. I may have missed some parts but im trying to get through this as fast as possible before I can decide against posting since for some reason the idea terrifies me.