Do I tell my Grandma I hid her nice booze?
Hello, would appreciate any help navigating this new territory for me. Would be easy to go overboard with the story, but I'll try to keep it high-level.
TL;DR: I disposed of my alcoholic Grandma's booze but hid some of the nice stuff away with her local priest. Now she's asking where it is and is upset I got rid of it. I'm afraid of the ramifications of the decision I made, for myself and her preist. What to do?
I made an emergency trip to help my Grandma ("Gma") in a medical crisis onset by alcoholism and multiple falls. Gma has a strong flair for the dramatic, and I experienced firsthand how her lived experience does not exactly line up with objective reality, either due to her exaggerating things, misremembering, or simply making things up. She's also very stubborn and can be downright rude and mean. That said she was very appreciative of my help and being there for her.
She was willing to admit at the time that drinking was an issue. After a lot of coaxing along with her geriatric care counselor, we told her I was going to dispose of the alcohol in the house and she reluctantly agreed to that plan.
Going thru her house I found mostly hard liquor that I dumped down the drain. I also found a nice looking very old bottle of rum, and maybe a bottle of wine or two that looked nice. I forget exactly what they were but I recall they seemed special.
It didn't seem safe to keep any alcohol in the house of any kind, even though I know she mainly/only drinks gin and vodka. I made the executive decision to box up the special looking bottles and gave them to her pastor for safekeeping (they're on good terms and he is aware of the situation).
After she returned home it became evident that she thought "disposing the alcohol" meant only the stuff she drinks on a regular basis. She has notice a few of the nice things are gone and is VERY upset with me, as some of those items were gifts or things she uses for recipes, etc.
At the time I thought "If she asks about them, I'll tell her where they are" but I've chocked, and just said "I'm sorry you feel violated that I got rid of the alcohol in the house". She doesn't believe she agreed to me disposing of everything. I honestly didn't even want her to specify what to dispose of, because of course I'm not in good conscious going to leave a bottle of bourbon or wine in the house.
Do I tell her about the box of nice alcohol with the priest? She would likely feel violated all over again, and blacklist me, which she's done for family members and friends in the past when they overstep boundaries with her.
I feel like I should have told her from the start, but now that I haven't it would be very detrimental to our relationship. I'm not sure if I made the right decision in the moment, but really not sure what else I should have done. Any thoughts would be appreciated.