How to tell my therapist I think I'm as good as I'll get?
I've been struggling with a multitude of things (ADHD, Depression, Anxiety) for eight years now.
I don't particularly enjoy being alive, and haven't for about two years now. We've discussed at length my passive suicidal ideation.
But after so much time I realized that this part of me is incurable and untreatable. I can't make myself un-see the truth. I don't want anything in life anymore. I'm not interested in a more lucrative job, or more friends, or anything. Honestly, the only thing I really want is to want something, anything, but all of it is valid and fleeting.
I don't even crave socializing or friendships. My friends mean little to me and I don't know why. I sometimes miss romantic connection, but I don't think I'm capable of giving or receiving love and it would be unethical to link with someone when I feel this numb so persistently.
But I think I've spent enough money and time to learn that it cannot be fixed - this is just me. So how do I go.about ending that without getting locked up somewhere? I'm not going to kill myself, I just don't think I can get out of the rut of realizing the futility in it all.
What's the best way to say that?