u/Ok_Response_5511

Just listening to Rasen for the first time, great album so far

Title.

After all these years I'm still amazed by Alvestam's voice, even though the controversy of his exit from Scar Symmetry. I thought it was Stanne in some parts haha

Can't believe it's been ten years already, one of my fav MDM songs (and albums) ever.

So exactly a month after No Contact. My ex fiancée reached out back to me and I answered.

And it was absolutely no f*cking worth it...

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It was worse, way worse.

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It started with the most shallow apology I've ever read.

I answered in the coldest way possible, not because I don't care, but because of the way she had hurt me made me so f*cking numb.

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And then she switched back to victim mode, how life was sh*t since we broke up, how she essentially took the stupidest decisions and how the guy she cheated on me was an piece of crap (big surprise).

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Even so, I told her that things would get better and that she needed to go back to therapy and meds. She told me she was taking some but seemed to have no effect.

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Then she started the lovebombing again.

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How I was the love of her life and all of that bullsh*t now I am so numb to.

I told her I didnt want to date anyone, that the way things went off between us made me want to focus on myself, but that she was important to me and we could still be friends.

But then she apologyzed again with tear in her eyes, and this is were my stupid heart couldn' take it.

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Over the next few days she was that lovely princess I fell in love with, but even if my heart wanted to believe this time was for real, my mind kept telling me this was never going to work out because she's mentally ill.

And this thinking saved me, from going to that f*cking abyss again.

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But the next part is what really made me realize the kind of person I'm dealing with.

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She made a videocall alongside her 11 year old kid. He was incredibly happy to see me and I was too. Even if I'm not his dad, I care deeply about him, he reminds me a lot of myself at his age. And for a moment our "family" was reunited again. We spoke. we laughed, she told me she loved me infront of him. Sent me kisses. She tolld him I was going to be with them soon.

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None of this mattered.

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Just few days after she was cold again. Stopped answering my messages. Told me she wanted to be alone. Told me she didn't know what she wanted to do with her life. That she neeeded space. All that crap again, but worse. And 2 days after blocked me again.

And yes, she's back with that guy again.

All of this happened in less than 10 days. So...

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It's done.

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I can deal with all the sh*t she made me go through. But using the feelings of her own kid. Essentially manipulating him to manipulate me and then don't giving a single F about none of our feelings.

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I'm done. Of course it hurts, realizing the person i loved the most could use any of us as notjing more than toys to regulate the bullsh*t inside her own mind and her need to control and "be loved". I didn't need any of this. I didn't deserve any of this. That poor kid has a reptile for a mother.

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So, don't do it.

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Nothing worth it will come out of it. No closure. No accountability. Anything. You'll only deal with the beast inside with no mask to hide behind.

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Stay healthy, guys and gals. Take care of you. Peace and love to everyone of us. We deserve it.

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Today was one of those days... It's been 3 months since the break-up, 3 whole weeks of No Contact.

But today I just woke up thinking about her...

I know she's already with someone else.

I know she's no good for me.

I know the future we had planned together never existed.

But fuck.

That doesn't make the pain any easier to take.

Since the moment I met her I was caught up by her beauty. She had everything I dreamed in a girl. Then we started talking and it felt amazing because we had the same taste in pretty much everything. I don't think this was mirroring because it just happened the first time we spoke.

Then immediately the red flags started, too much attention, to much love, too soon.

I guess I was just so happy to have met someone like her that I pretty much ignored everything. I just thought she had suffered a lot through life an I could finally be the person to help her heal.

Of course I was wrong.

I don't have to repeat what happened. Just the same cycle we already know.

Still there's moments that break me.

And I cry. I cry a fucking lot.

Because all the love I felt was real.

In some ways it still is.

I'll be okay? Yes, I'll be.

Is it easy? No, it's fuking not.

Friends, family, all tell me that I look better.

I started at the gym,

I'm going out more.

Meeting people, making music.

But when the flood of memories comes to my mind.

It's just too much.

I know it will pass, and it does get better.

Even if it still hurts to my core.

You're not alone. We are not alone.

We are loved.

And we can love again.

Vivo en una ciudad pequeña y no hay muchas posibilidades de trabajos ni estudios, tengo el chance de emigrar a ciudades más grandes como Caracas, Valencia y Maracaibo. Mi pregunta es: ¿Vale la pena o es mejor que use lo que tengo ahorrado para comenzar desde cero en otro país tipo Argentina o Brasil? Agradezco cualquier respuesta o consejo.