How did you apply the Law when your entire life (and history) needed to change?
I'd like to preface this by saying that in the past I've had some really good successes with applying the Law. I've read almost everything by Neville over the past few years and I applied it for specific desires, a few smaller ones, and a fairly big one that cemented my faith in the law. I truly do believe in it, so this post is not coming from a place of lack of belief or understanding in the law.
The reason I'm making this post is for insights anyone can offer. I know this is going to sound like I'm just listing circumstances and being the old man, however, I truly don't know how to proceed. I'll do my best to keep this as short as I possibly can, please bear with me.
I've found that I only ever truly succeeded when either I was focused on a singular goal, or when I didn't really care as much. But my 3D has devolved and is in a place where almost every aspect of my life needs to do a 180 asap and I am living in a state of constant anxious stress.
To list just the top few issues: the culture/religion I grew up in, I want to completely change it. I want to change my family's beliefs, and other limiting attitudes they have, it's become extremely suffocating for me. I'm very limited with how I can live as a result. People tell me to just leave my family, but I don't want that. I love them and am very devoted to them. I just want to live more freely, without losing my family in the process.
(Anyone who had the misfortune of being born a female into a strict Asian culture or background would understand/relate.)
There are also health and income problems, an overall lack of wellbeing and drive for life, lack of self-confidence/self-love, depression, a family member and friend not doing well, and issues with romance and love. You get the gist. Basically, you name it, I am probably facing a form of it.
I want to change my whole life. I'm done with this one.
I know all this is possible to turn around with the Law, but I have been unable to embody the feeling of everything being fixed/resolved, and working on things one by one isn't yielding results.
I've tried encompassing an overall feeling of peace before I sleep, or "isn't it wonderful" in meditation and SATs, and I can touch it for very brief periods. But during the day when I have to constantly face 3D circumstances, I am unable to stay in any good state. Trying mental diet feels like fighting myself and my thoughts all day long. I just can't seem to find a state where everything is as I wish it to be, let alone maintain it and live in it.
It's very frustrating for me to know that if I was better capable at ignoring my 3D, I could realize my ideal life. That I even have the solution to my problems, through the Law, but am unable to make any changes.
I’ve been thinking about posting for months but kept stopping because ultimately, I know only I can change my reality and there’s only so much anyone can suggest. That the 3D is just the dead past, that I should live in imagination. I understand all the theory deeply.
For those of you who have turned around your entire life and history with the Law, I’d really appreciate any insight on how you applied it when everything felt hopeless.
I apologize for the negative lengthy post and thank anyone in advance for their time in responding.
I wish everyone here the most beautiful and ideal life they could possibly conceive.