Ex wants to completely overhaul our court order...out of court
Ive been divorced almost 4 years. I filed everything myself. My Ex got an attorney because he didnt know how to do any of the paperwork. Attorney stated his support payments per month were 539. His attorney threatened that if i wanted to fight or change their offer, they were to go after my retirement if I didnt agree to the support/custody agreement they put forth. I settled for 439/mo and I live in socal. I have about 75ish% custody and he has the remainder.
Fast forward to now. My roommate moved out. Im paying for everything by myself. Inflation...the cost of living is out of control. 400 bucks covers groceries for the month practically. I make a lot of food at home and pack my daughter's lunches. My ex also recently remarried.
I texted my ex and said I wanted to talk to him about the child support. That I would like to discuss an increase and see if we could agree to it ourselves instead of involving the courts with a hearing. He replied massively.
Would be willing to offer me 150 a month. Wants to overhaul the custody completely. Different days. Different pick up times, different holiday schedules, wants to claim her every other year for taxes. Wants to agree to this out of court and if I agree he would pay the legal fees to get it filed with someone.
I told him I disagree. The schedule he came up with was hectic and that low amount of support I can never agree to. He began to tell me how the schedule he put forth is common and is the same his step daughter's follow and that is aligns better with his wifes schedule so she can do pick up and drop offs.
My daughter is having a hard time in school and may need tutoring. She is very attached to me and her grandmother who has raised her along side me since she was a baby. I feel like all of this would be too disruptive for her and shes only 7. He kinda threatened me saying my work schedule doesn't provide the time she needs and will probably have to go back to court, which upset me. It was never an issue before....until I asked for an increase in support.
Has anyone gone thru this before and worked out in your favor? The unknown is weighing on me and im afraid on losing time with her and being more financially strapped.