r/SingleParents

I'm creating a parenting plan with my ex husband for our child. Neither he nor I attend church anymore (we were fundamentalist Catholics) but his parents DO. They are strict. They look after my child two days a week so I can work. However, I do NOT want them to take her to church or church activities. Is this reasonable? I was deeply traumatised by the Catholic church and won't step foot in one.

On the one hand, she's my child, and I'm allowed to say it.

On the other, they're doing me a favour caring for her for free. But they do so on Mondays and Tuesdays when there's no need to go to church.

Thoughts?

I (M40) started dating someone (37F) a little over two months ago. We are both divorced single parents. We became exclusive very quickly, and are absolutely crazy about each other, spending multiple days a week together, so I recognize we are in a honeymoon phase.

She has full custody of her 15 yr. old son with dad completely out of the picture, and I have a 10 yr old son with 50/50 custody.

I don’t plan on introducing her to my son for at least 6 months, but she wants to introduce me to her son already. I have told her I don’t recommend doing that for her son’s sake, but she she is very family oriented and wants me to start attending her family gatherings, where her son will be attending.

There are some cultural differences here too where apparently my attending those family gatherings even this early on is very important to her. Anytime I suggest holding off on my attending, again for her son’s sake, she gets sad/upset and suggests I am not serious about her, which couldn’t be more false.

I could be overthinking it, so need some opinions. If I tell her I want to delay that step for 1 month or so, she’ll be receptive, but any longer I think she’ll definitely start taking it negatively and will strongly consider breaking this relationship off, which I dont want to happen. Part of me thinks if she wants to risk her son’s well-being this soon, then that is her choice, but i also want to start off my relationship with her son in the best possible way, when the relationship with her has matured. It will also become very apparent when i meet her son, but she doesn’t get to meet mine for a while longer.

Has anyone agreed to an introduction to their partner’s kid earlier than you were comfortable?
Did it work out well or did it end up hurting the relationship?
Was there any way that you went about the introduction that helped it go better or anything you did that you wish you didnt?

I love my kids very much. I’m not ready to start dating since I’m not fully financially stable I’d like to wait on that part. What do yall do when you feel lonely? I’m really not big on friends I feel like they just backstab you. Give me some things to do that’ll steer my brain from feeling lonely and depressed.

I have a child slightly under 2 years old. I have majority but not full custody. My mom and dad help me when I’m working and occasionally otherwise so that I can take care of things or myself (I suffer from depression/anxiety and am in a high-conflict coparenting situation). I know that I’m lucky for this and I’m grateful. I am with my child the majority of the time though when not working.

My parenting time is on weekends and most weekdays** otherwise I wouldn’t be asking or really in the scenario. I try to schedule coffee dates during my lunch break so that it’s a time where my child is already with someone else where I’d be gone anyway but that’s not always possible. Same applies to dinner with friends maybe a 1-2 times per month. So: Is it okay to occasionally have hourish long dates? What about dinner with friends?

I’m 45, separated for three years, with two children. My marriage was emotionally abusive, and I’ve been the primary parent since we separated, managing the vast majority of the parenting, finances and day-to-day responsibilities.
One of our children is autistic and has additional emotional and sensory needs. I absolutely adore my children, but parenting can be exhausting, particularly when their dad has relatively little responsibility and seems free to get on with his life.
The complicated part is his parents.
I was incredibly close to them during our marriage. They felt like the family I’d always wanted. His mother knew about the abuse for years. I regularly rang her crying, and she was supportive. But when we separated, she accused me of being reactive and said her son could never do anything right.
Since then, she’s largely avoided me. His father has maintained a relationship with me and does show genuine concern, but things have undoubtedly changed. He has also made it clear that what happened in the marriage was between me and his son.
And I think that’s part of what I’m struggling with. I’m angry that my ex seems to have faced so little accountability for how he behaved. He broke a door in front of our kids and was incredibly emotionally abusive. He also at least emotionally cheated. His family know what I went through, yet it feels like everything has been brushed under the carpet. He gets to carry on with his life, while I’m left dealing with the emotional fallout and the practical reality of raising our children largely alone.
I’ve tried very hard to keep everything amicable, particularly for the children. I’ve continued attending family occasions, including a traditional pre-Christmas dinner we’ve always had together.
But this year I don’t think I can do it.
I suspect my ex has met someone, and although I absolutely don’t want him back, it’s brought up a lot of complicated feelings. I’m angry that he has the freedom to build a new relationship while I’m still carrying so much of the responsibility. And, if I’m honest, it hurts that he may be choosing someone else when I spent years feeling like I wasn’t properly chosen or valued in our marriage.
I still love his parents, but I no longer feel the same sense of belonging. I’m beginning to question why I keep putting myself in situations that leave me feeling hurt, just to maintain the appearance that everything is fine.
I’ve always been someone who tries to maintain relationships, have difficult conversations and make things work. But I’m starting to wonder whether I’ve confused being the bigger person with constantly putting my own feelings aside.
I don’t want to damage the children’s relationship with their grandparents or create unnecessary conflict. I just don’t know if I can keep pretending that everything is okay when it isn’t.
Would it be unreasonable to step back from these family traditions and establish some boundaries of my own?
Has anyone else navigated this, particularly after an abusive relationship? How do you make peace with the lack of accountability and maintain boundaries without feeling guilty?

Back story. I got pregnant last autumn.

We weren't dating. I had sex one time with someone I had been friends with for years.

He told me that he didn't want to be a part of the babies life. Blocked me on social media. Stopped communication with me.

I spent my pregnancy giving him space but hoping he would come around.

He didn't.

When baby was a few weeks old I sent him a text and let him know that she was born. Long story short he basically told me he meant what he said and I was on my own. Asked her name and asked for a picture. Which I sent him.

I haven't heard from him since that day and haven't tried to reach out since.

I don't understand how you can see this beautiful baby and not fall so much in love you can't imagine not being a part of her life. We don't need him.

She's 4 months old now.

He randomly texted me today asking how she's doing.

Part of me wants to be cordial

The other part of me wants to tell him to eff off. You don't get to just pop up randomly for quarterly updates.

Would you respond?

Edited to add you guys are goofy

First of all nowhere in this post did I ask advice on child support. You guys have no idea if I have filed for child support, if I'm going to or if I'm not going to why I wouldn't. And it's not only none of your business it's completely irrelevant to what I was asking.

I swear I’m going nuts. Due to financial reasons I live with my mother. She hates leftovers and won’t touch them but complains about food being thrown out. I don’t have an issue with leftovers and when I was living in my own with kiddo I also warmed up leftover for lunch the next day. So I only cook two meals a day. Breakfast and dinner.

I work remotely and homeschool my special needs kiddo. Occasionally I’ll make extra pancakes and freeze them for the next day. I never give food that’s been in the fridge for more than 24 hours.

Well it’s become an argument where she expects me to cook three meals a day! I’m like I don’t have time for that. She acts like I’m starving my child. Now my child is pushing back on not wanting to eat leftover either! I’ve told her if it bothers her so much she needs to make one meal a day every day.

She claps back with “I’m not your maid, or it’s not my responsibility to care for your child”

Am I crazy or is she being unreasonable?

My son (21 months) and I are finally leaving and starting over. We’ve been living with my family (with my now ex partner/ child’s dad) for a while now and have some bits in a storage unit, but I’ve finally kicked him out and am looking into housing for my mini family.

I genuinely don’t know how I’m going to afford to furnish our home though. It won’t be anything particularly large. 2 bedrooms with a small garden. Ideally separate living room and kitchen, although I have a feeling we’ll end up with open plan (new builds are like this now near us). We have some ‘stuff’ but really not loads.

How did you do it? Bonus points if you’re UK based!

Thank you.

I left a very abusive marriage and have a 1 year old. I find it so much easier to raise my baby alone. I no longer have to walk on eggshells or regulate a grown man’s emotions. Can anyone else relate?

How are we all doing? How are we making ends meet? I have a 5 year old, and a 2 month old. I currently work as an LPN in the United States and it is SO hard to get by. The father of my 2 month old doesn’t really help much at all financially so I’m expected to carry the weight of that as well. It’s just rough. The cost of living is so insanely high where I live as well.