u/Ladieswhotoke

I’ve been a freelancer makeup artist for commercial photo shoots and events for 20 years. In my industry, there are no full time/part time positions as they hire freelancers for each gigs.

I’ve been separated for 5 yrs and the partner and I always had a flex schedule for my two young kids but I had them 60/40. I had them Fri&Sat every weekend for over 4 years till last Nov when I asked for it to be every other weekend.

I recently have been taken to court, with stipulations with the flex schedule and solid Holiday plans which has not finalized and we have a follow up court coming in 2 weeks. They have an attorney and I declined for assigned attorney because I have always been accommodating, appreciative, and understanding with the fact that I am a freelancer and thought the stipulations I wanted revised or added were reasonable as I always do prioritize the kids. I never took them to child support due to their threats to me about suicide, how they don’t have anything, and that I would owe them support because I own my apt, I have investments and they have nothing. I have an Scorp, I pay myself and he has an LLC and he pays himself and I know for sure that I make less than him.

The first appearance in court in front of the judge happened last week. The judge did not like my freelance life, although I have been the main provider for their babysitter fee, camp fee, main saver for their 529 etc, main provider for vacation and extra curricular class fees as well as the one that owns my own apt and don’t have a partner that kicks my kids out of their home when she is upset. In the stipulation he mentions he is open for flexibility but wants solid even/odd holiday schedule. She definitely hinted that my schedule isn’t providing a steady home.

I just found out I’m working M-F in another state and the following week in another state M-F. I had the kids this weekend and next week is his weekend but because I am gone all week these next 2 weeks, I asked him if he would give me the kids next weekend so we all don’t have to go thru 16 days without seeing each other which he declined. He doesn’t have any plans for the weekend but he said he will refuse to change any weekends which wasn’t voiced in the stipulation. If the goal is to prioritize the kids needs, without negative interactions between the parents, I feel as though him declining to give me next weekend and depriving the kids from Mom time isn’t prioritizing the kids needs.

He keeps telling me to get a real job, although this is my career which I’ve been working on for the last 20 years which I have a steady source of income from, definitely more than he does as I’ve been paying for majority of my kids enrichments in education and extra curriculums. If I start declining jobs, I may start loosing work and income as well.

Location: New York

I’ve been a freelancer makeup artist for commercial photo shoots and events for 20 years. In my industry, there are no full time/part time positions as they hire freelancers for each gigs.

I’ve been separated for 5 yrs and the partner and I always had a flex schedule for my two young kids but I had them 60/40. I had them Fri&Sat every weekend for over 4 years till last Nov when I asked for it to be every other weekend.

I recently have been taken to court, with stipulations with the flex schedule and solid Holiday plans which has not finalized and we have a follow up court coming in 2 weeks. They have an attorney and I declined for assigned attorney because I have always been accommodating, appreciative, and understanding with the fact that I am a freelancer and thought the stipulations I wanted revised or added were reasonable as I always do prioritize the kids. I never took them to child support due to their threats to me about suicide, how they don’t have anything, and that I would owe them support because I own my apt, I have investments and they have nothing. I have an Scorp, I pay myself and he has an LLC and he pays himself and I know for sure that I make less than him.

The first appearance in court in front of the judge happened last week. The judge did not like my freelance life, although I have been the main provider for their babysitter fee, camp fee, main saver for their 529 etc, main provider for vacation and extra curricular class fees as well as the one that owns my own apt and don’t have a partner that kicks my kids out of their home when she is upset. In the stipulation he mentions he is open for flexibility but wants solid even/odd holiday schedule. She definitely hinted that my schedule isn’t providing a steady home.

I just found out I’m working M-F in another state and the following week in another state M-F. I had the kids this weekend and next week is his weekend but because I am gone all week these next 2 weeks, I asked him if he would give me the kids next weekend so we all don’t have to go thru 16 days without seeing each other which he declined. He doesn’t have any plans for the weekend but he said he will refuse to change any weekends which wasn’t voiced in the stipulation. If the goal is to prioritize the kids needs, without negative interactions between the parents, I feel as though him declining to give me next weekend and depriving the kids from Mom time isn’t prioritizing the kids needs.

He keeps telling me to get a real job, although this is my career which I’ve been working on for the last 20 years which I have a steady source of income from, definitely more than he does as I’ve been paying for majority of my kids enrichments in education and extra curriculums. If I start declining jobs, I may start loosing work and income as well.

Location: New York