u/Pale-Finance123

I have an urgent hearing next week as my girls’ dad refused to return them last week after one of their three times a year visits.
He has been weaponising the threat of court for years whenever I don’t do what he wants, so I filed.

Apparently I have a very good case but I’m still so scared, I’m waking up yelling from nightmares now.

Does anyone have any advice on how I prepare? I have a smart outfit and a list of key points for my solicitor, what else should I be doing?

I have an urgent hearing next week as my girls’ dad refused to return them last week after one of their three times a year visits.
He has been weaponising the threat of court for years whenever I don’t do what he wants, so I filed.

Apparently I have a very good case but I’m still so scared, I’m waking up yelling from nightmares now.

Does anyone have any advice on how I prepare? I have a smart outfit and a list of key points for my solicitor, what else should I be doing?

I’m struggling with years of being told I’m over reacting, or imagining things. I don’t know which way up my brain is. The story keeps changing - it didn’t happen, it wasn’t that bad, I deserved it, and the new one ‘you’re living in the past’

I am supposed to be going into a refuge tomorrow and I’m so scared to tell him, and to go through this. My brain is second guessing itself all on its own now.

Hello,

I am meant to be going into a refuge tomorrow, my kids are with their dad for a week but they will be joining me.

Does anyone have experience with this? Like what is good to take with us, and how can I make the transition as easy as possible for the girls? They are all under nine.

I have been advised not to tell partner until it’s all in place. Some days he can be absolutely fine, and when he is it feels very strange to keep this all a secret. But I understand why they advise extra caution.

Does anyone have an advice on the best way to inform him to reduce the risk of escalation? He can be very unpredictable and it will feel very out of the blue for him as I have been de-escalating for many months now.

I don’t know what to do and I don’t have anyone I can really talk to about this.
My partner had a stroke ten years ago. We have been friends a long time but only been together and lived together the last two years.

It’s like I’m living with two different people. I accept the memory issues altho it makes me feel like I’m going crazy sometimes.

His stroke counsellor says I need to adjust what I am comfortable with as this is part of it, sort of implied any counselling wouldn’t help at all, and that I didn’t really understand it all. I obviously couldn’t tell the guy details of what had happened as all hell would have broke loose, and anyway apparently I imagined it so I don’t even know for sure that it happened.

Thing is I do understand the situation as best I can, I’m living it. I’m making so many allowances that I am losing myself. The changes and rages scare me. It’s at the point now where I can’t tell what is due to brain injury and what is just cruelty. Then when he’s feeling better nothing is discussed or repaired and I have to pretend it’s all ok when I have emotional whiplash.

I don’t trust my brain or my perception any more as he tells me I’m imagining it all. I don’t think drinking every day is helping mood swings, and I worry about his health so much.

I’m sorry if this comes across like a pity post, I genuinely understand that it’s way worse for stroke victims, I’m not trying to be unkind at all I am trying to work out what I can possibly do.

I have a number of conditions also and I don’t get any recognition of those or even basic human kindness - the other day when I had a sensory overload he just turned up the music and said ‘I don’t care’. I’ve stopped bringing things up as it makes him so mad at me. He thinks my issues are weaknesses and all in my head and I should just be able to switch them off, but it often feels like there is a very different set of rules for me somehow.