u/Old-Gap-8438

Ugh. I hate that I can't let it go.

I hate that I betrayed my amazing wife and I am still stalking the qualifier.

I keep falling into dark suicidal thoughts and reasons to end my life. All I have done is cause pain to others while trying to relieve my own. Do people like me even deserve to ever be happy ? I am sorry for the drama but damn I am really hating myself. Is there anywhere up from her ?

I can't focus on anything . I am like a drug addict desperate for a hit. Ugh . I can't live with myself anymore. I can't get the thought out of my head that the world needs less of people like me . It will devastate my wife but maybe she will feel free eventually.

God, i hate being so selfish.