I hate myself
I know this is a SelfHate group, but I need so much help. How do I learn to actually love myself. I want to accept myself so I can accept my husbands love. I’m just having a hard time learning to do so. My husband says I’m beautiful and tells me how much he loves me all the time, but I can’t accept the compliments. I look in the mirror and am disgusted at what I see. I’m ima weight loss journey as well, hoping it will help. I’ve lost 16.5lbs, but that’s still not enough. I compare myself to my sister, because she’s always been the skinny and pretty one. The cheerleader, the popular girl. I can’t talk to family about my feelings because there’s always something that’s just so much worse going on for them. And anytime I try to make something about me for just a minute, I’m flooded with why their lives are just so much worse. So I hold it, and I’ve been holding it. As a kid (4ish - 16) I was physically, mentally and I’m thinking sexually abused (can’t prove it). I feel broken, but I can’t be. I have to be able to be a listening ear for my families issue. I have to be their voice of reason, I can’t afford to break. And man am I breaking so much. Does anyone have any advice (other than a therapist) that can help me? TIA