u/Onall5s

Our friend group went to a local bar last night and a friend brought new girl she met at work. As she's just moved in she wanted to show her around. The night progressed and the new girl noticed I'm not drinking. When she asked my buddy that knew the real reason said "Oh he has cancer he can't drink". Everybody at the table was shocked so I tried to explain before anything else was said but the new girl being a little tipsy as all of them said "Oh I'm so sorry. Is it terminal? Can I be your girlfriend till you die?"

Then I explained that I'm not dying. They just found an unidentified mass on my lungs and I'm gonna get it checked out tomorrow and as they are doing my bloodwork I can't drink.

I talked to my other friend about it. He showed me a video where a guy was saying to girls that he has cancer and they had the same suggestion.

I mean we talked a lot we kind off had a good vibe the whole night. Before that happened. Now I don't know if it was her just being drunk, or she saw the exact videos and just said it as a joke.

I don't want to use it as a power move "Oh hey remember my cancer..." So I don't know if it would be weird even talking to her afterwards.

I'm open to any imput. I've been thinking about the whole interaction whole day and I'm kinda confused about what to think.

Should I even engage with her?

I (22M) was invited by my friends to a bbq party. I was working that day so I told them I would just come say hi and leave as I had work in the morning. The evening came as I work in different city I came at around 11 pm. Ate some food they made, talked a little and as I was leaving my ex (23F) asked me if I could drive one of her friends (23F) home as she was the only one other them me that lived in different city. I agreed and as I was driving her home she constantly was asking about our break up with my ex. I didn't think much of it because she was drunk. After 40 min of driving we finally got to her house. As I was waiting for her to get out of the car she grabbed my hand and invated me inside. I was in shock so I calmly said with SOFT voice that I'm sorry that I have to go to work in the morning. She didn't say anything and just got out of the car and went inside her house. As I was driving home (another 30 min drive) I completely forgot about it as I had really stressful week at work and had a lot going through my mind.

Next day at 10 am I was supriesed by a text from my ex saying "I really can't ask you for anything without you being piece of shit?" Firstly I had no idea what was she talking about but then she told me that Emma had told everyone that I was super mad the whole time, that I kicked her out of the car at a random house that she had to walk to for another 5-10 min alone at night extremely scared. Which is total lie. Firstly she was too drunk to give me the location of her house so I again calmly asked her to tell me the address so I can put it in Google maps. Secondly I watched her open the gate of the house and the front door and then I left.

The thing is this isn't the first interaction with her. 3 Years ago I was invited to her house party as she celebrated her 20th birthday. At the party she got into a argument with her best friend and basically I offered help to clean the house before her parents came from a vacation. As we already cleaned the kitchen and living room she suggested that we take a break and drink something. We both sat on the couch and as we were talking she went for a kiss which I stopped because she was way more drunk then me at the time. She told me that she will manage to clean the house and should leave. Which I did and she didn't talk to me for 3 months. (This was before me and my ex dated.)

This is basically 2nd time she made a move on me while being drunk and I really have a problem with that as I don't want her to regret anything in the morning.

How do I defuse this situation? Do I even defend myself or just let it go?