My anger is too much and I want to control it. Does anyone have a similar experience?
I have trouble controlling my anger and lately it's gotten worse. I already know that my main trigger is in a noisy environment. The problem is that my family is my main trigger, especially my siblings. My family is always so loud and it gets worse when they have fights, the tension is also very annoying. My siblings are also loud people, in fact they are the loudest, they are always shouting and I can't fucking stand it. I also get triggered by people with certain personalities.
I feel like I'm such a bad person because everyday I'm surrounded by my triggers and can't help getting angry every time. I would shout just for them to stop but that doesn't fix shit. And my way of dealing with my anger has gotten worse too. I've been abusive to them, slapping my siblings, and throwing things at them when my anger gets too high. I also hit myself when I get frustrated, so pretty much a hazard at this point. And what's worse is that I've started having these thoughts of k*ll*ng whoever triggers me just so I could escape this feeling. I want to stop, I really do, but I feel like I can't change when my trigger is literally in the house.
If someone has a similar experience, can you tell me how you cope with it. And please, any advice will do