r/Anger

Hey everyone I know most of you will say no and I’m happy that you guys don’t have this issue, but I’ve been struggling with my anger. It got really bad after the birth of my twins. I stay at home all day with them and they’re now almost 2 and it’s been really hard to cope with having two toddlers running around and also no support because the dad is out of the picture (trust me I tried so hard for that not to be the case) I also have a almost 9 year old with an attitude problem as well and I completely blame myself for that. Anyways I wanted to ask if anyone has struggled with this temper issue and if any medications or anything has helped you.

I'm so angry I could cry. I could actually just start punching walls and not stop.

I have sent a small fortune decorating our 3 bedroom flat, paint wallpaper, furniture, flooring right through - only for the kids to slowly destroy it all. I only started 6 weeks ago and so far the new £300 table has dents in the top of it, 2 drawer handles are broken on the eldest bits drawers, there a big chip/dent in the centre of the laminate floor in the boys room, there's scratches up the hall wall that looks like someone has run their fingernails up it, paint scraped off living room wall, tomato sauce up and down living room wall.

The kids are 16, 14, 10 and 8 so it's not even as if they're toddlers. And they don't care. I feel like Ive given up my life to provide for them and all they do is wreck everything.

The eldest 2 are my step kids, the younger 2 are mine. I just can't stand it any more. Take take take, want want want, but ask any of them to do anything - no!

The eldest boy has now shown me a pair of £110 trainers I bought him about 6 weeks ago and the sole is coming off. No respect for anything. His attitude is oh it's alright I'll just get a new pair.

The floor with the dentist in it has been down 1 WEEK.

I'm so angry I've told them I'm cancelling our holiday in July because none of them deserve it and I've told my partner as soon as she's in I'm either going out or going to bed before I absolutely explode.

I've spent a fortune and done all the work myself to just watch it get wrecked. The living room actually looked like a showroom the effort I put into it - but 2 weeks down the line and they've ruined it. Kids these days don't know their born and you can't discipline them coz the country has gone soft.

Actually just want to walk out and never come back!

I know that I will be out of my comfort zone and really need to be able to handle my mental state and be present, loving and engaged with my beautiful wife.she has stated that she wants me to have some tricks up my sleeve to deal with the stuff that can set me off.

For context I'm an army combat vet and recovering alcoholic who has self confidence issues, especially concerning my intelligence. I probably have ptsd, I definitely have a fuck the government (the oligarchy to whom we are just renewable resources of bodies to throw at the military industrial complex and money to fund their ludicrous spending) mindset and most arbitrary rules make me mad.

Help - i have all the rights to be angry. But I’m exhausted. I don’t want to be angry anymore. I feel so lonely. I’m just so exhausted. I just don’t want to be angry anymore. I don’t want to go 0-10 in a min when someone doesn’t pick my call.

I feel so fragile. Has anyone fixed their anger? I want to transform it into something meaningful. I want kids. I don’t want to be like my mom. I need help. I’m getting therapy, but talking hasn’t helped.

My story - I grew up in Asia with emotionally / physically abusive parents. Corporal punishment is not frowned at there. :( Angry mom and high expectations. Always being called angry when Id act out after her berating me as a 3 year old.

Fast forward - I became a high performing consultant, moved to US did therapy. Realized they passed down their own troubles but never accepted they did anything wrong. I gave up after 20 years of trying for them to do therapy.

Finally found my husband in early 30s. When I moved to EU for a short 2 year assignment. Kindest sweetest most loving person I ever met. We were happy. So happy. I reduced my connection to my family after they tried to sabotage my wedding. We needed nothing else.

4 years in - he was diagnosed of a rare cancer and he passed away an year after. He was misdiagnosed for a year. I hate his GP. There’s no suing in EU. Also doesn’t bring my husband back. Which is all I truly want.

I gave up my successful career to be in EU as he didn’t want to leave his mom alone. After he passed, his mother and brother found out that he named me as his heir in the will. So the best daughter in law is now being called names - and they stopped talking to me. Harassing me by posting on social media. I can’t believe these people.

I am trying to figure out why I keep getting irrationally angry when logging into things and having to verify myself multiple times every time I log in.

For instance I had to go to the IRS website, but I cant just go to the IRS website, I have to go to IDme first log in there verify myself. I had to change my password, login into my email with my ID and password, verify my login with my phone with a code. Get the email to change the password. Then login with the ID and password then redirected to the IRS who then wants a video of me all because they didnt want to deposit my refund. Im certain my refund was held up just to obtain the video of me.The lengthy annoying process and the violation of privacy sent me from 0 to 100 just after the first step.

I cant just login. Login is an entire process.

When Im at work I need to login to something, I put in an ID and password, then Im redirected to verify on a secondary device. I verify myself with a 2 digit code, the I have to verify the 2 digit code with a personalized PIN. And it is every login on every device and every app. It is insane and its only been 2 months! A friend told me corporate has been doing this for awhile.

Why am I so angry and annoyed by this? Why is this such a trigger? I feel like if I understand why it is happening I can help control my mind from flipping out. Its teeth gritting, wanting to cuss and punch something, slam the laptop closed and say "fuck it."

I have deeply rooted anger that can come out an anytime, for any small inconvenience. its not something im proud of, but its something im very self aware about. Its to the point where my husband wants to leave me. Anytime i get angry it's like a 0-100 very fast, and its so incredibly hard to not be angry. i try to stop myself in my mind by reminding myself that its not that big of a deal, and the consequences to my actions if i keep staying angry but for some reason i always act out and never listen to my inner voice. I dont know why. its almost like an out of body experience but im aware of whats happening and whats going to happen if i keep going on but i cant stop myself. i lash out and throw things, punch/kick walls, slam doors, scream and yell like a child not getting their way, cuss a storm out, be extremely hateful and careless, there have been few times i will admit ive smacked my husband out of anger. i know what im doing is wrong. i dont want to be like this. everytime i get like that afterwards i just want to break down. theres no excuse or reason for me to be this way. No matter the shit ive been through people especially my husband have been through worse and still manage to have better anger management. I just am at a loss. If my husband was to leave me over this i would be devastated but at the same time i understand. i wouldnt want to be with someone who is easily angered to the point where it can instruct damage to property or even violence. I just want to be a better person for him, our family, and myself. I have tried talking to my husband about my anger but he always tells me he doesnt understand how i can get angry like that, that fast and stay angry. he also doesnt understand how its almost like an out of body experience when it happens. its something im aware of but cant seem to get into control of. he says i just lack self control, he's right but i dont know how to gain that. Anytime i try to seek help, im almost always met with "well figure it out yourself" . and that makes things even more frustrating. i dont know what to do, thats why im asking, how am i supposed to figure it out when im already clueless? and what im doing currently is obviously not working. ive been looking online and at forums to try and gain better self control, i feel like nothing is working. i try walking away and calming down, i end up just making myself angrier somehow and lash out more. i try to let go and stop thinking about it, distract myself with something i love doing, and end up getting angry at it or at the fact that i cant let it go. i try taking deep breaths and telling myself its not that big of a deal, i just make myself frustrated at something else. i have deep repressed anger. i dont know why. i dont want to be angry anymore. i never want to feel angry again but i know its going to happen and i just want it to stop. i just need tips and pointers on where to start being better, being less angry, more at peace and happier. I dont want to be this way anymore. My husband deserves better and i want to be better for the both of us before its too late and i lose him.

even the slightest thing makes me snap, could be a loss at a videogame, basketball, school, anything tbh, like ive deadass made my family go to financial problems because of how much i break things, how do u control it?

just angry about all the abuse I’ve endured. not sure what to do.

My(F24) mom(F46) has this dog Emma(F2) a chihuahua, that she got about 2 years ago and one of the reasons she got her is because she looks like the last chihuahua she had to put down a couple years ago.

I moved back in with my mom in February of this year and ever since then I'm dealing with this dog growling at me because she's really bad at resource guarding her treats, my mom, my moms boyfriend, my moms underwear, her dog food, her human food that mom gives her on her own plate. It's to a point where if I talk or something from inside my own bedroom, she'll growl at me from the living room if she has a treat, undies, or human food.

I cannot for the love of God, get my mom to understand that this behavior is not "normal dog behavior" and that it's an issue that has been getting worse the more unchecked it is, I've had a dog and trained said dog plus a previous dog of my mom's, I could freely stock my hand in my dogs food bowl and shed ignore me and keep eating. I can't even go to the bathroom without being growled at, but any other time, she'll come into my room jumping around and begging me to pet her.

I'm just getting to a point where I can't live here anymore but don't have the means to move back out again. I don't want to live somewhere where I can't even walk around or use the bathroom or anything. I keep telling my mom she needs treats that she can fully consume and not just build up, and that she shouldn't be getting any human food, including the meat at all if this is her behavior and that she needs to be more firm with her dog amd actively discipline amd correct the behavior, but she's not really doing anything about it and is acting like I'm blowing it out of proportion and that Emma is just a dog doing dog things.

I really just needed a rant and some reassurance that I'm not being overdramatic over this behavior. I'm just so livid at this point and want nothing to do with the dog at all.

I woke up today fine but after an hour I snapped and I've been ripping out my hair, tearing through my flesh barehanded, and smashing very hard objects over my head, I'm not normally an angry person. Frankly, what the fuck is happening to me?

I don’t yell, I don’t scream, I don’t punch things or get violent in any way. But many people have told me I’m terrifying when I’m angry and I don’t know why. I’m never out of control or anything. It just sucks to never be able to express one of the most basic emotions because even people who have known me my whole life and know what kind of person I am (very gentile and calm) don’t feel safe around me when I’m angry. I always end up just having to go for a walk by myself until I’m too tired to be angry or I’ve resolved the issue in my head. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to fix it. I’m just struggling right now because I quit smoking weed again which is generally what I’ve used to keep the anger pushed down. Any suggestions or similar experiences would be appreciated.

I need a way to let out extreme anger… what has worked for you guys? I mean things like breaking rocks or chopping wood
(Not excercise, I already do this and I need something for when I cannot get extremely sweaty)

Its impossible to interact with my dad bc of his severe anger. He will literally start screaming over nothing, he gets mad over your "tone" even if you are just talking completely normally, takes everything personally, works himself up and CANNOT absolutely CANNOT calm himself down. He just explodes. He has screamed at me and humiliated me in public since I was a child. It's gotten to the point sometimes I feel like I'm about to witness him have a heart attack. He will start hyperventilating, talking to himself, and cursing. He's already had one mini stroke

He is completely unhealthy (morbidly obese, bad diet, doesn't sleep) he can't even do simple things without getting out of breath. On top of that he is just not mentally well (hoarding and bizarre habits and behavior). Needless to say I don't have a good relationship with him and probably never will.

How am I supposed to interact with someone like this? He's literally going to kill himself from how insanely angry he gets. I genuinely do not know how to interact with my own father

So I am talking to a friend and she say lot of my behavior is very rude and insensitive which i now see. I have cptsd/autism and I am starting to realize much a shitty person i have been without realizing it. She also said i sound like I want to hurt someone when I would socialize with her and I know see most of my life I been projecting this to others scaring the shit out of people or making them uncomfortable.

I feel so bad on how much drama/pain I have caused how much I was in denial. Even with medication I still am very angry socially wise but not as much emotional currently.

I had punch my door and wall 3 times in total, I have been to therapy but I never really address these anger but some therapist I have tried fixing it but I never actually changed.

I know can change not be like this in the future. I just can't believe i been like this for so long and how blind I was about my behavior towards others.

I want go back to therapy but I don't have the money for it right now. What can I do?

Me (30M) and my fiance (24F), live in Australia, got into an argument last night after we had seen a film. I had ended up taking my anger out, punching a roller door garage. This has been a recurring theme in our relationship and I’m afraid of hurting her. I already hurt myself. I don’t want to put her through anymore of this. I don’t want to put myself through it either.

today my brother hit me. i am 21 years old female and he is 19. we were having an argument and i insulted him first by saying fuck you and he got angry and asked why i had to insult him. i wont get into the details of the argument but for me i got mad coz he started by raising his voice at me and i went off on him warning him that if he raises his voice at me he shouldnt expect me to listen. anyway yeah i told him fuck you once during the argument and he got angry asked me why i said that and i told him i just did and that he shouldnt expect an apology from me cos i wont give one while in that state so he might as well just insults me too and we call it even .

Instead he proceeded to say that he will hit me and i got ticked off and i told him if he feels like such a man he should hit me then and he kept saying he will and i kinda got in his face ( emphasis on kinda since he was lying down playing a game on his phone and I was standing) and told him to do it then and walked away from him .

Unfortunately ,he did. he came at me and he punched me repeatedly on my forehead ,on my nose ,on my mouth and in my stomach . he mainly hit my head area. he put me in a headlock and punched me repeatedly while making eye contact hitting my head my nose and my lips till i started bleading profusely and screaming . he was not just angry he wanted to hit me and i know it coz after he put me in the headlock and held eye contact with me his punches became slower and as he hit me there were small pauses like he was observing me like there was an outcome he wanted. he hit me til his hands were bloodly and so was my face. i was screaming as he did and my little brother who is three saw all this began crying and running towards me calling my name alarmed. I was bleeding profusely both from out my nose and mouth . then when he finished he sat down on the chair with is phone like nothing happened and I left immediately and went to the bedroom.

my lip is busted and now as big as my whole thumb, my nose is swollen if not broken, my head has a bump, my front teeth hurt, I bit my tongue so it hurts too , my jaw feels tight and I was overall in pretty bad shape. while hysterical i called my dad and i tried to tell him what was going on but i could barely speak well and he couldnt understand me so he hung up and i think he called my mum afterwards and she called me and i calmed down abit and i told her that i cant stay here with him anymore and she told me not to leave the house and to wait for my aunt to come.

Anyway long story short, i am sure he has no remorse , none at all. I could see it in the way he looked at me after and how he had the audacity to hold eye contact with me afterwards and kind of glare at me . and i know he will justify it by saying i insulted him and he did not insult me. and i feel like my parents will partially blame me for getting confrontational with him when none of this would have probably happenned if i just let it go and kept quiet.

Plz excuse the bad grammar and lack of structure,I'm mostly rambling coz this just happened but I really need to know what y'all think.

I have only done this like 5 or 6 times in my life where I have been beyond enraged.

I have struggled with anger issues my whole life and my emotionally and verbally abusive mother did not help with that. She has NEVER done this but she has taught me that responding with anger is the only way you can be heard.

Recently, I’ve been having some REALLY frustrating issues with my dorm mate and he’s been trying to make my life living hell before he moves out. He hides from me but does petty shit (breaking the shower knob, not cleaning up after himself, and treating mutual friends like shit).

I confronted him and he was “idk what you’re talking about” and that sent me over the EDGE.

So I smeared a LITTLE of my shit and piss on everything he owns that he hasn’t yet moved to his room. Dribbled piss in front of his door, pissed on his bathmats, and smeared my snot on the inside of his door handle (it’s dried now but the intention is there)

I’m angry, I am so angry. I am thinking about what I could do to him but the ONLY thing holding me back is the fact I gotta finish school. He’s leaving soon anyways and he’s a weird little fuck. Fucking his ex-godfather and trying to out-petty someone 11 years younger than him. Yea okay, you have no hair

I have trouble controlling my anger and lately it's gotten worse. I already know that my main trigger is in a noisy environment. The problem is that my family is my main trigger, especially my siblings. My family is always so loud and it gets worse when they have fights, the tension is also very annoying. My siblings are also loud people, in fact they are the loudest, they are always shouting and I can't fucking stand it. I also get triggered by people with certain personalities.

I feel like I'm such a bad person because everyday I'm surrounded by my triggers and can't help getting angry every time. I would shout just for them to stop but that doesn't fix shit. And my way of dealing with my anger has gotten worse too. I've been abusive to them, slapping my siblings, and throwing things at them when my anger gets too high. I also hit myself when I get frustrated, so pretty much a hazard at this point. And what's worse is that I've started having these thoughts of k*ll*ng whoever triggers me just so I could escape this feeling. I want to stop, I really do, but I feel like I can't change when my trigger is literally in the house.

If someone has a similar experience, can you tell me how you cope with it. And please, any advice will do