i have a problem controlling my anger, it’s not like im very violent when i get mad, it’s mostly verbally but sometimes i do hit the person and i do feel like destroying objects around me, i get so mad to a point where i don’t even think abt what i say, i just say whatever insult i cant, i would really appreciate some tips.
I'm in acting school, I'm learning to draw, and I'm just writing to try and practice creative thinking. When I don't do well, which is pretty much every time, i have a fit of rage. I usually internalize it due to my anxiety of people's reactions, but it is still bad because it keeps me from practicing. My brain is always telling me, "You're so fucking R@#$%^&* you'll never be good at anything ever!" and it goes on and on. Why do i feel this way, and how do i stop?
How can I let somebody I hate go? I would usually just delete all the contacts and imagine they don't exist. But this time, I am in a situation where I can't do this, I can't just cut all the contacts with that person.
I struggle so much with my mentality dealing with this.
Pls give useful tips. Thanks!
in my mind i have this idea of good and bad, with myself being a nice, kind hearted person, i really really like those similar to me, and hate, rlly hate those who are bad. Obnoxious ppl out in public, evil people with bad souls, those who want to cause trouble in your life and cause harm; daily i have extensive thoughts on killing those i know that are "bad" to me, the main person being my ex girlfriend. It doesn't take much at all to set me off, a stranger looking at me weirdly, people making too much noise, drunk people, people judging you from afar, i just wish i can kill them all, get rid of them all consequenceless. I need to know how to get rid of these thoughts as i have no other coping mechanism other than hurting myself, and want to get rid of these thoughts before i actually go through w my plans, and then get rid of myself after carrying them out.
I get angry at my parents for small pity things. And I immediately realize that I'm doing this. Than I try to control myself. I don't shout at them but get irritated.
But I don't want to feel that way. Why do I get irritated for no reason. Especially my parents are pretty good and understanding. Very atypical and unlike many other families in my country.
They always supported me in whatever I want. I feel really bad for doing this. Can someone please help me and guide me how can I change my behavior.
I feel high on emotions when this happens. And it happens for very silly reasons. Like they not understanding what I am saying. Or doing something not 'my way'.
I feel really pathetic and feel like I'm emotionally abusing my parents. My parents don't deserve it. And I know we sometimes can behave like that with our closed ones. Because we have that liberty in such relationships. But its really bad. Please help me improve as a human.
Hi everyone. I don’t know where to turn or who to vent to because I vented a little to my therapist and she seemed a little off during and after, so I’m worried I could get in trouble or scare people off so I’m here. I just need to vent and ask if anyone else has these intense feelings. Sorry if I have bad grammar here, I’m kind of emotional while typing this.
I’m a 29 year old female. I want to start by saying that I am by no means a perfect symbol of absolute morality and righteousness. I grew up with an intense notion of respect, understanding others, and right and wrong. I know there are gray areas to most everything and that humans are complex, emotional beings. That being said, I feel that there are just so many people in the world who genuinely don’t care about others or anything other than themselves and seem as though they are stuck in the mentality of a middle schooler with emotional issues. I can relate to how a lot of people feel because I have been there where I worries about what others thought about me, wanted to be cool, liked, admired, etc. But I grew up. It took a freaking long time, but I finally feel that I can stop and think through most things in a mature and logical manner, while taking emotions into account. But lately I just see so much blatant stupidity and lack of regard for anything but themselves. Like people who litter or cheat or abuse children or animals. People who have the gift of freedom to think and speak and feel and stand up for what is right, who have access to an infinite amount of information in the palm of their hands and access to free education yet are hopelessly ignorant and stubborn. I hate them. I HATE them. I know it doesn’t help that I work in veterinary medicine and work with rescue pups, but they are my calling in life and I could never stop having them be a part of me. But I feel so much anger and hatred and justice is a hopeless concept anymore because our government system is all but useless when it comes to prosecution and sentencing. I want to be The Punisher and wipe them all off the face of the earth. And I want them to suffer and I want them to know what they did was wrong. I know many people like who I’m thinking of would never feel true remorse so I want them to suffer to the point in which they understand that they were wrong. I WANT THEM ALL TO SUFFER AND DIE AND BE FORGOTTEN AND GO TO HELL WHERE THEY BELONG.
Gah! I know that people are all unique and have unique experiences and yadda yadda yadda, but the bare minimum of what I think makes a person worthy of life is just basic kindness, thought, and respect. But lately it seems like a vast majority of the populace is just selfish idiots with no sense of morality. I want bad people to suffer and good people to be rewarded, and it seems to be backwards SO often. I think part of the reason I’m so angry is because I used to be sad about it and couldn’t take it and I tried to take the easy way out, but the first time I miscalculated my overdose and ended up in the ER (which was embarrassing because I love math and it was an easy calculation) and the second time I ended up in a mental hospital where I couldn’t go outside or open any windows or call my family when I wanted and that felt worse than what I felt when trying to end it lol. Anyways, sadness=suicide and it never worked out for me, so I guess my brain said “alright, the world sucks but I can’t just die apparently, so I have to kill everyone who makes the world suck”. Idk, just thinking out loud lol.
Again, I’m sorry for the poor grammar and general language, I’m just letting it all flow onto the keyboard right now. I don’t WANT to feel like this, and I’ve become somewhat of a hermit trying to avoid triggers and just live my life happily. And it works until I have to go back out into the world and deal with people again. I even take the backroads to the next city over where I work just so I don’t get angry on the interstate because people drive like idiots there especially. And I just wanna say that I feel like I’m a kind person who can be too trusting and very gullible, and tends to think the best of the people I interact with. I’m the type of person who doesn’t have any personal enemies or rivalries. I feel like I put a lot of effort into understanding others feelings and experiences and actions, and there are just some things that I can’t wrap my head around. Like not cleaning up after yourself or being mean to a random person or abusing an animal or child.
Aaand again I’m sorry, this was a long post to vent but I just needed to let it all out and try to express just how intense these feelings are and give some idea of what’s going through my head so I can ask for help. Thank you to anyone who makes it through this mess of a post ❤️
I feel embarrassed posting here, I know I need therapy for the longest time now which is why I go to church sometimes, and it has been helping, but more often than not it’s exhausting getting my kids ready in the mornings as I’m the only one doing it myself while my husband does God knows what.
So we tried 8:30am
Then we tried 10:00am
And then 11:30am
We are late every dam time and I eventually got frustrated especially one day when after a whole hour of finally convincing my 5 year old son to get ready, he finally gets ready then I can’t find his socks and he can’t pick which pair of shoes to wear, so I spent minutes trying to convince him what shoes to wear.
I struggle my 3 year old daughter into her car seat and then now we are sitting and waiting for their dad (30m)
Well wait I forgot I need to clean up our home bc I can’t leave it messy, so I go and put things away and sweep a bit, and this guy is still doing God knows what.
So long story short I didn’t want to go to church anymore at least not until the kids are much older.
I find myself getting easily irritated with my kids and dreading them waking up, I wake up at 5 then they’ll wake up like an hour later. It doesn’t matter what time I wake up, my kids always wake up 1 hour later and demand snacks and juice first thing in the morning.
The other night I tried sleeping in the living room then my husband and kids decided to sleep with me.
I can’t catch a fkn break, my sleep almost every night is broken.
I feel so fkn horrible bc the kids were fighting over my husband’s phone and I threw it, I only broke the case but I just know he’ll be mad about that and give me an earful for that.
I feel horrible being this way.
I just know people will jump down my throat for that, I scared my son :( I know I need help.
So anyway… are there any apps or anywhere affordable I can go to take myself to therapy or anger management?
Recently came face to face with death after swallowing 40 pills. I got saved and fought for my life in the ICU. Ever since, it felt like the old reasonable anxious me died and a second life took over.
Whenever someone tries to fuck with me at the slightest, I say horrible shit and I'm even ready to punch them cuz I want to send a message that nobody will fuck with me anymore.
My therapist says I need to not react the anger at the person who caused it or other people around me. But how do I do that? I have to get my anger in control.
my ex and i broke up almost 3 months ago after a 6 year long friendship/relationship she was my best friend and my first gf, she cheated on me with a man (she was bi and im a girl) who i was obv constantly told never to worry about and that her feelings for me never had to do with him. she was mentally ill (fwi sh/su!cide) where i couldn't confront her about things because she would directly sh or threaten to k!hs. and i was her number one support when it came to this but i wa also the most effected by her behaviors caused by her mental ilness (she never went to therapy or tried help no matter how much i insitsted so i was the only one who knew and helped her with everything, tho i didnt mind the help as much as the backlash)
all in all after the breakup i insisted on cutting her off and never being friends agn because i felt immense unforgivable pain bcz of her where i wasnt eating for a week and i had intense stomach pain as a physical reaction to anything that had to do with her. after 2 months i went on a 3days trip with our mutual friend group and she as always pushed me back into it, the whole time i was shaking and my throat was aching with all the things i wanted to say to her as she was carressing my hair, we ended up in few fights as always and i left home crying and decided to never meet her again.
after that meet up she has tried contacing me several times and i eventually let her thinking she was gonna apologize or something, but instead she sends me 20 voice notes crying abt how she feels left out from the friend group and how she doesnt have any close friends esp after our breakup and how that somehow has to do with me. conversations with her during times where im in my pain have caused me too much anger for all the things i cant say, and for what the person i have loved for 6 years had turned out to be, that i now carry the most painful constant stomach ache and i just woke up from a dream where i was fighting with a psychopath who was throwing apples to my stomach and i woke up and it was the pain.
i have only 1 friend who knows about this and i feel like shit sharing my pain to others tho i need to bcz it helps, but its a permanant feeling and i cant be always yapping about this but i really need to deal with this anger inside of me i cant live like this. thoughtss??
I am just curious if your partner has anger issues or get triggered easily . Will you help them recover or just leave them alone and blame for their reactions
To preface I am two days cold turkey niccotine so that is both adding to it and also why I've been looking more into controlling the anger. But this has happened before.
So I get heated at work but I know it's my body and not "me" cuz "me" is doing great, productive, saving money, talking through his problems etc. So I use a technique, like controlled breathing, standing meditation, rubbing neck, or even quietly and calmly stepping away from the source of irritation till I clear my head...
But then my boss asks "you just had a moment there" or a customer gets upset with me and starts prodding cuz I took a deep breath to calm myself and tattles to my boss about it.
But I wasn't angry. Me breathing deep, or going quiet to ground my thoughts, or walking away is me actively deciding that I refuse to get angry. That I dont want to ruin hours of my day over a one minute interaction. My boss knows me when I'm angry, he's seen me yell and claw skin out of my head during holiday season panic attacks.
This is very frustrating cuz there is literally no more I can do, if my body gets irritated and I tell it no I refuse to be irritated, that is me being good? That's me actively being good. Like my neck and face gets all tight and i can feel my blood boil but if I immediately decide "this isnt gonna happen" and use techniques to calm myself I'm litetally not angry, I literally stopped myself from becoming angry.
Someone was crying over the loss of a family member and I was feeling so angry they were crying that I had to leave
I (22) was texting with a good friend of mine (also 22) and he decided to ask me if I still have a certain video game installed which I did, so I automatically asked him if he was interested in playing but he answered me that his coworker actually asked him to play together so he asked me to join.
Tho, suddenly when he mentioned his coworker I got so angry and frustrated that I didn´t know how to handle it properly and quickly decided to answer back with "ok". The option was either that or insulting him which ofc I wanted to avoid.
I feel so bad, completely in rage and totally nervous at the same time, but why?
Is there any books that discuss different types of anger/rages? Long story short, I am done with my anger issues. My rage. I recently joined Rageaholics Anonymous (based on AA teaching). Please keep comments about AA to yourself, not the space. My husband and I got into a fight and he said I was raging. I sat there thinking, no I am not. I am not yelling (big problem!), not interrupting, none of my usual "in your face obvious" rage clues. But there were more subtle ones that can turn into my rage.
It terrified me. I didn't even know that is where I was. I thought I am doing great.
So, are there books based on different types of Rages and how they might show up?
Thanks!
for me, when a person who i don’t like admires me, tells me how attractive he/she finds me, how funny i am, tries to talk a lot to me, etc.
My husband and i have a good marriage 35 years and are close. One of our older dogs fell on the steps today while I was holding the door open for her to come up. Husband ran down the steps and picked her up around her waist and I watched for him to put her back on her feet on the steps. He yelled, “do something!” (he rarely yells) and I let go of the door and ran down the steps to help lift our dog’s front paws so she could get back on her feet.
She’s fine, and this has happened before when he’s taken her outside on his own without my help.
Being yelled at really bothered me. My dad yelled at me all the time growing up and I just cannot handle being yelled at. I took a shower to calm down. Husband didn’t apologize and continued to leave for his workout.
I’m sure i probably should have recognized that my help was needed and not just stood there when our dog stumbled. I didn’t realize husband needed my help. I thought he had it. But it still bothers me, my heart is aching because of being yelled at. I’ve dealt with similar things in counseling but it looks like this is a problem I’ll have to address.
Anyone want to offer some friendly advice? No yelling please lol (sad) and thanks.
i’m 14M and i hate my older family
my sister (22F)
mom (40+ F)
and my dad (50F)
i have three younger siblings, all under the age of 13 and they are the only people i like, and i barely even like them.
i hate my older sister, my dad, and my mom. they enrage me so bad and i don’t even know how.
i usually stay home all day (until 5pm) watching my three younger siblings while my older family goes to work, i feel so happy throughout the day with my younger siblings, i watch movies with them, paint, play outside. but as soon as my mom dad and sister come home it all crashes. just them smiling at me genuinely enrages me, yesterday they didn’t have work so they stayed home. i woke up around 1pm, and they were all outside. i stayed in and smoked a cigarette and went outside with them and i just felt my blood boiling being near them. i was so bored, all they did was smoke 🍃. half of the day was me cussing them all out, sleeping, and playing xbox. i don’t know why i hate them so much. they bore me. and the more im around them, the more i hate them. today i stayed home with my siblings, and i felt okay. i actually ate, i didn’t even smoke. i felt calm and leveled all day, but when they came home i crashed again. i cant stand being around them. what do i do? as the years go by i get angrier and hate them even more. they trigger me so bad and they are the ONLY reason i even smoke nicotine. they trigger my urge to relapse back into vaping too. and i dont know how to cope. my parents basically neglected me my whole life. shoved a screen in my face at 5 years old, let me drink white claw at 10, and gave me a vape at 12. i never got proper education, and i never had friends. and i still don’t. my anger is getting so out of control ive had urges to punch them, and break plates and bowls. and i have broken things out of anger. how do i cope without going to therapy. all i’m living off of right now is cigarettes and they barely keep me leveled. i feel like a dick because i’m not being a good example to my younger siblings. i don’t want my sister to grow up and think this is how men should act. but i don’t know what to do.
Am I jealous or is it valid?
Anger issues in relationship
I'm 24(F), I have been in a relationship for the past year, it's a long distance relationship.
My boyfriend and I met on a dating app, 6 dates in, he told me that he wanted to be together.
He said I love you too. On the 6th Date.
The relationship while mostly is long distance, we are heavily attracted to each other and we truly did fall in love.
He even says he wants to marry me and I felt the same. Before I went down the rabbit hole.
He& I when we met agreed to a casual relationship (I've not had any casual relationship ever). He slept with someone after our first date and before our second date.
Since then we have been together, after our third date we spoke a little about exclusivity too.
We were in constant touch with each other.
But this bothers me a lot and I get extremely triggered by this during fights and I can't seem to forgive him.
He told me about the hookup after a month of being in a relationship.
Now, I can't get over it. He didn't come clean before he said I love you.
I don't know what to do.
I need advice desperately