u/Any-Fee-9633

I got shit I need to do. Errands I need to run. But it's like the second I'm like "ok time to get ready to leave the house" that's when I get triggered to fuck and spend HOURS just raging. My glasses, my hair, my clothes, my shoes, my socks, my bag, everything pisses me off so fucking much that I waste HOURSSSSSS just trying to get ready to leave. It's made me quit trying to leave before. I've flaked out on shit I wanted to go do because I just can't fucking calm down. I try so hard, I breathe, I splash water, I eat, but no matter how hard I try to just CHILL I literally can't. I'm so fucking tired. I fucking hate literally everything. Can someone just like tell me they do it too or I'm not insane or something I'm so fucking tired of the constant suppressing my rage and then it gets worse but no other coping skill has literally ever worked for me. FUCK!

I'm done. I'm tired. I hate life and I have never enjoyed it once in my pathetic miserable life. I wish my mom aborted me like she wanted to. Looks like it's time for a two decade late term abortion

I used to think I was a chill and relaxed and laid back person. No, I wasn't, I was just so dissociated and detached I couldn't bring myself to care about ANYTHING. So yay I'm not dissociating 24/7 now but now instead I'm angry for like 80% of the day. Yay I love this whole life thing I wish I could go back to dissociating all the time I hate feeling like this all the time I wish I was numb and stuck in my head instead again I wish I could still access my inner world like I used to now Im just so numb and angry and that's it. I'm never happy I'm never at peace in always angry and numb. I used to be able to read and focus and watch movies but now I. Just constantly angry and I hate everything so fucking much. I don't think this healing thing is worth it idk how anyone can say that this feels better than dissociating

Like if people could just be fucking NORMAL about my birthday that would be great. I don't understand why everyone just has to get weird and mean about my birthday, I genuinely don't. It's like. These people will beg and beg and beg to convince me that not everyone is weird about my birthday, and the second, THE FUCKING SECOND I allow someone to celebrate my birthday or get mea fucking present, suddenly I'm indebted to them about it, because they WeRe So NiCe and KiNd EnOuGh To GeT mE SoMeThiNg that now I have to bend over backwards to repay them for it, to make it up to them for being *~SO FUCKING KIND~* for wishing me a happy fucking birthday. Fuck people. I need to get the fuck away from everyone, I'm tired of constantly fucking doing this, I'm tired of being forced to do shit for people I don't fucking care about, I'm tired of being made out to be an asshole if I'm not suddenly coddling and forever thankful to get a fucking "happy birthday". Fuck birthdays, fuck people, I need to run into the fucking mountains and be a fucking hermit, that's the only way to stop people from fucking hurting me

Hi friends, I've had my wyze cam v3 since 2023, and recently Ive been having a weird issue with it. I don't know when it started, but it must've started in the last month, the audio is super distorted, extremely slowed down and low pitched and I'm having trouble fixing it. I've restarted the device multiple times, disconnected from Wi-Fi and reconnected, unplugged, and toggled all detection settings, and made sure that the device is fully updated. I'm not savvy with tech in the slightest, so if anyone could help me out with fixing this issue it would be greatly appreciated

I try my hardest to not be too much or overwhelming, but sometimes I just get so excited and it instantly puts everyone around me in a bad mood, or if I'm talking about something I'm excited or happy about, people think I'm being mean? I think it might be a tone thing but at this point I feel like I've forced my tone of voice into a level of fakeness when I try to manage my tone. It just seems like peoples dislike for me peaks when I'm happy. People already dislike me because of the trauma vibes I give off (I'm trying to work on it), but even when I'm nice and polite people still don't give me the benefit of the doubt. Like I had a small back and forth with a grocery store worker while on the way to a concert I was super excited about. I was grabbing some water and snack bars for the drive and the person was asking normal questions and when I was like "oh yeah I'm headed to this concert, I've really been looking forward to it " the person just instantly disengaged and didn't respond, and basically the last 45 secs or so of the check out procedure was just awkward silence. I wished them a good day and they rolled their eyes, and I heard the person behind me say something along the lines of "some people just need to not do so much". I know that's like a random moment and yeah the cashier couldve been having a bad day or something but the next person in line basically saying I was too much is what gets me. I try so hard to be normal, to be nice, open, inviting, to interact without thinking everyone hates me, but it seems like the second I'm not thinking that everyone hates me, that in and of itself makes everyone hate me. What am I doing wrong?

(Oh and yes I make sure to do hygiene and wash myself so I don't think Im stinky or anything related to that, I really do think I'm giving off bad aura or something)

Like is this just purely a me problem? I feel like I've have several "aha" or lightbulb moments, and I'll be fine for like a week, but then next thing I know it's months in the future and I realize I never changed. Am I the problem? I wonder if I have npd like my dad or bpd like my mom, or stpd like my grandma, that I'm actually the one with the problems and I'm just too delusional to see how horrible I really am. Idk man, I hate myself so fucking much it hurts sometimes, I can't bear to look at myself in the mirror and I genuinely feel horrible for forcing everyone else to look at my hideousness. What I would give to be a more worthwhile person instead of the creature I was born as