Am I a lazy MT?
Ok to get it out there first — I am not the most organized person. I am also someone who genuinely prioritizes doing a job well over getting it done in a timely manner.
I’ve been a MT for about 1.5 years now and still find myself exhausted and in pain all the time. It definitely aligns with my self care (or lack thereof) but I also just feel way too tired after shifts and just wanna turn my brain off. My joints pop and click and I find myself praying that clients cancel at times.
I have ADHD and even though I (surprisingly) prefer not to talk during sessions, my brain is CONSTANTLY working and thinking about what I’m doing and what’s happening in their body and trying to sense for any reactions from them to make it feel the best.
I work 4 days a week and take 2-5 clients per day. Often 3-4 with 2- 90 min sessions and the rest 60. This still feels like too much. I get all the signs of burnout and I don’t know how to sustain this. I have 15 minutes between each client but I like to give my clients their full session, so this often gets cut way down if our intake goes long, I’m assigning them homework, or we go overtime which happens often because I’m not willing to compromise quality.
I did my schooling out of the country and I really wish I had a mentor or someone to apprentice under, because I really feel so lost and depleted. I’m scared this will just be a temporary thing and then I’ll be done — or that I’m really going to hurt my body for later in life. Scared because I really LOVE what I do when I feel good. And the feedback I get affirms that this is what I’m meant to do.
I loveeeed school and I dream of teaching kinesiology one day but I just worry that I’m too lazy to do the hard work needed — I see so many other therapists grinding through all this stuff and just making it work… but I’m sensitive and want to listen to my body too, not just my clients.