Succeeding by cramming
Hello all
I have finished my first year of vet school. I have all A’s and B’s, and never was in danger of failing.
However, this semester has been…kind of shameful. For most of my exams, I crammed the night before or the day or two before, often staying up all night with a short morning nap before the exam. Or skipping an entire day of lecture / labs to study ho until an exam. I did this during finals week to an extreme. I had 5 finals, where I basically did an all nights with a nap, rinse and repeat. I otherwise barely reread the lectures before. I aced two finals, maintained my performance in one, and had a slight dip on another but not enough to alter my grade. A few in my class are seriously suspicious when I mention I do things this way, with some flat out thinking I’m lying to make myself look smart because of how much info one test will cover.
I am succeeding with this method, and I’m retaining information, more or less. I couldn’t tell you ALL the ins and outs of the hundred bacteria species we covered this semester or the clinical symptoms for them , but I feel like I have an overview and reading for a few minutes or googling something is usually like “oh yes, I remember this”. My tests are usually 85+ in scores if not mid to high A’s. I did this a good bit last semester too, and when I see content (like anatomy) I generally still remember it or quickly understand what’s being referred to. I don’t know the vertebral formulas or every little detail on things but again a quick review usually helps when I need it. We had a neurological exam we had to do in front of an instructor this semester, again I crammed neuro, and I was still able to make a perfect score
Suffice to say, this has had a pretty profound impact on my mental health. It reached a point where I’d cram like this, and I’d be pretty depressed or lethargic, like completely disengaged with any class content, atleast up until the next exam, so it fed into a cycle. Like having days spent in bed or doing nothing related to vet school What’s worse, was the last month I really didn’t go to class much at all..I’m also terrified that there was so much in the -ology classes that I hardly retained things. We have a capstone exam that we aren’t supposed to study for in August and I’m afraid I won’t pass. I reached a point going into finals and just told myself to survive and reset for next semester because of how underwater I felt…well I survived and maintained (one final I made a C 79 despite acing both previous exams - my only cumulative final )
My parents say “well your grades are awesome” when I say I’m worried about this and that “clearly you are doing the rights things even if handling it this way. Just adjust next semester on a regular study schedule and you’ll be fine as a doctor” I kind of want to quit but I’m too deep in since I’m out of state. I completely pivoted my career to do this so I’d essentially have nothing and no prospects with my shitty biology degrees otherwise. I’d probably consider taking my own life if I quit, this was kind of my last chance to do something with my life
Am I the only one that crammed like this? I feel like I don’t belong because all my classmates do it different but generally I’m scoring higher despite it. I don’t want to get into details but I had some serious mental health challenges this semester ( not due to the self care) and I do feel proud I survived and made good grades. But on the other hand it’s kind of terrifying…