u/Open_Pen_7903

Hi, i need advice on how to tell my family I'm pregnant. I want to preface this with no I'm not a teenager. I also don't live with my family. The problem is i do really love my parents yes they made mistakes with raising me, but this last year after going no contact for a bit they have come around and really showed changed i feel like i finely have a relationship with them granted it is really limited and they are not truly apart of my life, but i do have a phone call every 2 weeks and try to see them once every other month now. I only live 15 min away from them just in the next city, but i keep them at arms length and on 'probation' from my life. It has worked out great so far and like i mentioned i finely have a relationship with them, however when i went to tell them about my pregnancy last month i started by mentioning Steven (not his name) and quickly realized i have never told my parents about the man i not only live with but have been dating for a year we were friends for a year before we got together as well. It made me realized just how much they are not a part of my life as Ive taken trips with this man we have weekly dinners at his parents house, i have gone to every holiday with his family the last 2 years i even spent mothers day with his mom as she's a wonderful women and i honestly consider her a great friend and have daily phone calls with her. I obvisoly didn't break the news i was pregnant to my parents as they started harping on me about dating a guy and not focusing on myself telling me not to sleep around and that if they haven't even met him he must not be serious. I love this man he amazing and honestly i don't know what i did to deserve him the man treats me like a princess everyday and im so happy to be starting a family with him he was genuinely so happy when we found out and the last few months have been so much fun with his family buying things and putting the nursery together. I'm far enough along now that im showing and its summertime so wearing baggy clothes is not an option everyone in my life knows about it and is happy for me except my parents and it does hurt when i see Steven's mom and dad over the moon knowing that my parents don't know. I do feel like im blocking them from being grandparents and knowing my child, but i also know they are going to yell and be awful to me for being pregnant and not married, and for keeping it from them for so long. Even if they did know while i do think they would be better grandparents than parents i also would not trust them with my kid ever and genuinely go back and forth on weather i want them apart of my kids life. Honestly im just confused and need advice on how to tell them. I want them to have the opportunity to show me they can be nice and be amazing grandparents and love my child like i already do, but i also know them and im scared for their reactions. My child is not a mistake she was loved from the very moment she was conceived and we are so grateful for her and the only reason were not married is I don't want to be while i love steven i have some past experiences with an ex fiancé that im still in therapy working through and dont want to think about a wedding until i know ive worked through my own issues and not put them on him when he dosnt deserve them. i have dinner with my parents tonight to tell them however i do think im gonna wait just a little longer and wear a sweater and just sweat through dinner as i am a giant chicken. I know i have to tell them at some point and preferably before my daughter is born, but i just dont want to hear any nasty comments on how they she will ruin my life or is a mistake because i love her already with my heart and i know the second they say that there is no coming back. They will be cut out of my life permanently and there will be no probation and no more chances. I don't want it to come to that, however i do think it might which is why i've put it off for so long. I have loved having my parents in my life even if it hasnt truly been in my life as they don't know anything about me, and i just think this will be the breaking point and im scared. I feel like a teenager again lol I Steven's family has already told me no matter what im family and they support me cutting my family off if it comes to that his mom does think i should at least tell them and has offered to come with me however i know that will just make my parents upset. I have put off having a gender reveal or any baby showers with hope that my parents take it well and my mom will be there to celebrate and even though people in my life knows i havent been sharing ultrasounds on any social media or telling extended family as i wanted to tell my parents first and i do feel like keeping this has made me keep it a secret and hide it from lots of people and not be able to celebrate and show how happy i truly am for my miracle. I know eventually i should tell them and rip the bandaid off i just dont know how.