r/SmoshRedditStories

I've known my friend for almost 3 years, and we got close really quick and have stayed close. She is like a sister to me. We always talked about being in each other's bridal parties when we get married, and when I got engaged, she kept telling me how excited she was to stand in my wedding.

About a month ago, she got a tattoo of her boyfriend's face on her neck. He is in prison and she has never spent time with him outside of prison. He has 3 more years. I don't know exactly what charges got him in prison but I do know he has a history of domestic violence and anger issues (which there have already been instances where he's taken his anger out on her via phone). They've only been together for a few months and I have a strong feeling he's only using her for money. That's all I will say about her relationship.

I keep asking myself if I would feel different about the tattoo if he was a better person and actually treated her well, but I truly don't know. The tattoo is very noticeable and even if she covered the tattoo with her hair, you can still see half of it and know what it is. I do not want to ask her to cover it up as I will not be asking anyone else to cover their tattoos. She claims it was fully her decision to get the tattoo and that he didn't ask her to do it. I know it's not my body and I shouldn't judge, but to be honest... I am. I am embarrassed for her and the tattoo is the only reason why I don't want to include her in the bridal party. I don't want to look back at my wedding photos and potentially see the tattoo. I don't even want to know how our families are going to react to her tattoo. I feel horrible for feeling this way. I know it shouldn't matter what's on my bridesmaids' bodies, but I cannot get myself to feel that way towards my friend's tattoo.

If I don't ask her, I will still be inviting her to the wedding and telling her the reason why I didn't ask her to be in my bridal party is because we want an even number our parties (I have a longer list than my fiance). I don't want her to feel bad or anything if I tell her it's because of the tattoo, because she can't do anything about it.

EDIT:

I didn’t realize this post would turn into so many people giving me friendship advice. After reading your comments, I don’t think I’ll be asking her to stand in my wedding.

I also wanted to clarify some things:
- I am very aware that my friend has issues and she knows it too. I tell her to get help all the time but she thinks the therapy she got as a teen was good enough
- I am also aware that she is in a DV situation. I am SO concerned about what will happen if she’s still with him by the time he gets out, because I know it’ll be no time before it gets physical.
- People are questioning our closeness. I get it. We are complete opposites when it comes to our lifestyles and interests (think girl from the suburbs meets girl from the inner city), but despite all of that we still became good friends. I met her at my internship during grad school and she was a staff member. So yeah, there are a lot of things we don’t talk about when it comes to our lifestyles and why we make the choices we do, unless it’s concerning like this situation. Now I’m realizing how problematic that is
- She knows how I feel about her boyfriend. I remind her everytime she brings him up. She also knows how I feel about the tattoo. So yes, I do communicate my feelings to her and like I mentioned in another comment, it usually just ends up in her getting defensive and telling me to handle my own.

And because some of you guys keep asking:
- She met him through a friend who’s also dating an inmate. She claims she was only looking for friends but fell in love. Not sure how but whatever.
- She has met him before, she visits him in the prison.
- They give out tablets in prison now, at least in my state, so that’s how she’s getting his pictures.
- She’s with him despite his criminal background because he told her his violent charges were either from the mother of his child lying about it or police being racist. She believes him 100% and called me judgmental when I told her how obvious his lies were. Not one question about how he obtained 11 different violent charges and NONE of them were his fault. I also learned she has this “I can change him” mindset. That’s another story
- Aaannddd the big question: WHY THE TATTOO? In her words: “I just love him so much and I want to prove it to him” …as if her working 2 full-time jobs to pay his lawyer fees isn’t good enough

I hope that answers all of your questions.

Location: camp is in North Carolina, I am a Tennessee resident

I have two children aged 11 and 9 on the autism spectrum. I signed them up for a two week summer camp for children with autism at $4,500 each so our children could get a fun and beneficial experience over the summer and we could get a break. We are a middle class family and this expense was astronomical to us.

The parent handbook says they do not send children home for anything other than extreme safety concerns that cannot be mitigated in any other way and outlines their policies for dealing with things like behavior outbursts and homesickness.

The morning of the second day of camp, they called me and said I needed to get both my children immediately, because my eleven-year-old (who has echolalia— something they had been informed about) had repeated a sexually inappropriate phrase three times, and because my nine-year-old was homesick. They made it clear that I did not have a choice and had to get both children. I drove to get them and by the time I got there, my nine-year-old was having a good time and my 11-year-old was calm and behaving.

They said they do not issue refunds and reiterated that they had a right to send my 11-year-old home because his presence was a “safety concern.” They did not give me a good reason for the fact that they were sending my 9-year-old home but I do have in my text messages that they said it wasn’t an option.

I also found out that my younger child had been relentlessly bullied by another child there, something I was not told about.

I sent them an email after I got home explaining that I feel we paid for services that were not rendered. They said that I had agreed to the terms of camp and that they would call their lawyers if I contacted them again. They insinuated that they are the ones who were wronged and that they intend to take legal action against *me* if I press them for a refund.

I filed a dispute with my credit card company (Discover) with all the documentation including their own terms, but am not optimistic. I am willing to go through small claims court but I have no idea where to start. I don’t know which state to file in or how. Do I have a case?

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original posts by u/Kindabrokenhearted in r/relationships

trigger warnings: >!concerns about mental state, medication induced hallucination!<

mood spoilers: >!not what was expected!<

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My (28f) husband (26m) took his ex's(26f) side, kissed her and went to a bar with her to spite me - 12th September 2015

This happened maybe last week, and I am still a little shaken up by it. I really need advice. On what to do/how to fix this/what is right or wrong....

So my husband's good friend was living with us over the summer. Since it will conceivably be the last summer he's going to be here, he often had friends and whatnot over to visit. Well, the night before he left, friend invited over a ton of his friends and his sister... who also happens to be my husbands long-term ex girlfriend. They were pretty serious, dated from when they were 15 to 19.

She immediately starts acting like nothing has changed between them- like she's still his girlfriend. Behaving cutely, asking him to do things for her, etc. At one point, she's eating chicken wings (we ordered a ton of food, and despite this awkward mess, I hung around) and chokes a little on the spiciness. My husband offers her a paper towel, and she thanks "her Sky-Bear". This is when I ungraciously flip my shit. I tell her not to call him that and she needs to leave, right now.

My husband immediately bridles and stands up for her. "No she doesn't. She's not going anywhere." I'm a little stunned. I have no idea what to say, but I back down, not wanting to push him.

"Okay, she doesn't have to leave, but I'm going. And it's weird that the person in this situation who's the wife has to leave."

"Fine." He retorts and tells me he and his ex, and his friend are all going to the bar. And no, I'm not invited. I leave and go to bed, but before they go, I go down to use the bathroom and see him and his ex kissing.

Mortified, I run back to bed. He joins me about three hours later, well past midnight. I ask him why he's acting the way he has been, and he admitted he just didn't like me reacting so strongly against his ex, and my tone irked him. We fell asleep, and I have no idea what to say or do. Apparently my irrational bitchiness drove my husband to kiss his ex and go out with her to a bar for a few hours without me.

Now what the fuck do I do?

tl;dr: I acted like a bitch to husbands ex, he reacted strongly to my negative behavior, kissed his ex and left to go to a bar to spite me (his exact words). Now what the fuck do I do?

Relevant Comments (Before Edits/Update): (OOP does not reply to these comments but they're relevant to her first update)

> Commenter 1: Schedule a consultation with a divorce attorney. And I don't mean that to be cheeky or funny, either. That kind of cold, intentional disrespect and cruelty is just mind-boggling > >> Commenter 2: He wasn't even apologetic about it! He blamed OP's "tone" for his despicable behavior.

Commenter 3: > Apparently my irrational bitchiness drove my husband to kiss his ex and go out with her to a bar for a few hours without me.

No. Your husband being a shit person drove him to kiss his ex. You did absolutely nothing wrong! You're his priority, she isn't. His reaction to your being uncomfortable with how she acts around him is bizarre. He was more concerned about his ex than his own wife. Let that sink in for a moment.

If I were in your place, I would leave. Why? Because the moment he sided with her + kissed her meant he lost respect for you and your marriage. Who's to say this won't happen again? People don't just go around kissing their exes because their wife got mad at them.

Commenter 4: I think you mean your EX kissed his ex...

This guy is garbage. Divorce and go be happy and appreciated properly elsewhere.

Commenter 5: He's cheating on you.

Commenter 6: Maybe you need to sit down and really read what you just wrote and process this. He chose his EX-Girlfriend (who was acting like they were together again), KISSED her, and then left with her to go to the bar. You do know he also likely had sex (PIV or oral, it doesn't matter) with her OR is planning to. From what I can tell, you haven't even discussed the kiss or how you feel. You need to find out everything that happened that night. Are you always such a push over, because it sounds like you aren't willing to confront him. I mean, personally, if my husband did even half of what your's did to me, I probably would have changed the locks that night when he chose her and told him to find somewhere else to sleep. Seriously, these are 100% divorce-able offenses...it's not like you'll ever forget that he doesn't have your back or watching him kiss his long lost Ex. Just, seriously, THINK !!! Stand up for yourself and get a backbone.

Commenter 7: Wait, what? Listen, this isn't your fault, he's just a dick. What in the actual fuck? This is unacceptable behavior on his part and you need to talk to him and tell him if he ever disrespects your marriage like that again, you're dropping his ass. Take control of this situation, don't let him do shit like this!

OOP later adds the following edits to the original post:

EDIT 1: based on all of your reactions, it gave me the courage to confront my husband. I really don't know what to say. He was completely confused. He told me such an event never happened. He hasn't talked to his ex in years, much less kissed her, and he would never think inviting her over without consulting me would be okay. I texted his friend, and he didn't remember ever doing something like this, either (inviting over a ton of people and sister). I even texted a person invited over- he kind of laughed and said he hadn't been over to our house in months. I texted him the same time I was texting husbands friend, so there was no way for them to collude.

I am so scared.

EDIT 2: my husband came home. He was scared when he say the mess I made he thinks this is serious. He gave me a NyQuil, and I am getting ready for bed I am going to bed there's nothing more to say tonight goodnight. Thank you goodbye. I am going to give him my phone.

Relevant Comments (After Edits):

Commenter 1: Wait, what? What's up with that edit..either you just dreamt all this OP or they are gas-lighting you...either way, I'm confused.

> OOP: don't know, I'm really really scared right now.

Commenter 2:
Or...Check the garbage for the old food containers.

And how was the food paid for? If not cash, there's got to be a record of it somewhere.

> OOP: There's nothing there- there should have been a big mess from the party, but I can't find anything. I would have remembered cleaning up, and feeling pissed about it, but there's nothing but normal garbage from the week. There's no extra dishes left places. There are no leftovers, and there was a TON of food- like three pizzas and five boxes of wings, plus someone brought Chinese. And there was a ton of soda, and now I can't find any of it. > > The paper towels aren't even out of place. They're full, just like I left them. Oh Jesus, I am so fucking scared right now, I swear to god I'm not fucking crazy I'm really not

Commenter 3: That edit is so weird... Either you're having a dream or everyone just play along with your husband's scheme.

> OOP: I don't understand I'm really scared- do you mean I dreamt the whole thing or I'm dreaming right now? I've been crying since my husband talked to me- I told him I need to sleep. I don't understand.

Commenter 4: If this is true, you should make your way to the nearest hospital as soon as possible because you have a serious medical issue that needs to be addressed immediately.

> OOP: im going to talk to my husband. I think I need help.

OOP's comments on if there was any evidence of the party at all:

Comment 1: I've looked, there's no record anywhere of the party. I can actually remember the night it was supposed to have happened, and it couldn't have. The more I go through this the less scared I am, he more I realize it couldn't have happened. My husband wants to take me to the doctor tomorrow.

Comment 2: I am so scared I don't want to be going crazy. But thinking about it, I never remember husbands friend talking about inviting anyone over before hand. I just remember the night when everyone was over. But I can't remember the rest of that day- the only thing that I can think of was seeing everyone sitting at the table and Grace looking at Sky and Sky looking at me.

Comment 3: My phone has nothing. My husband says he remembers his friend dropping in, saying he was going to hang out with his sister and friends, and then coming back disappointed because everyone was being an asshole that night. Then friend wanted to get Chinese food, and wanted us to come along because he felt lonely.

OOP in reply to a deleted comment: I think it may have been a hyper realistic dream. It's the only way this makes sense. I can't be crazy.

OOP replies about to a comment asking about family history:

i may have dreamed it, since I can't remember my husbands friend mentioning inviting anyone over before the event, like asking us if it was okay which he always did before. Especially his sister, who has never come over before, or the one particular friend I texted because my husband and I don't get along with him.

This sort of thing used to happen to my grandmother. I don't want it to happen to me. I don't want to tell my husband. It was probably all just a dream. I think I will ask my husband's friend'd gf. She wasn't here, but he may have mentioned it to her.

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(Update): My (28f) husband (26m) took his ex's(26f) side, kissed her and went to a bar with her to spite me - 14 September 2015 (2 days later)

Hey guys, great update! First, thank you all for your outpouring of love and support! I got on this morning and was overwhelmed by all your love, help, and compassion! You guys give me hope for humanity. And thanks to the a-hole who told me I was a crazy drama whore, that my husband should dump me and get a restraining order.

So, yesterday morning, my husband took me to the doctor's, who asked me a lot of the questions you guys did. No, I didn't hit my head recently, no I don't take recreational drugs. However, I have been feeling ill lately, so the night I had the dream/hallucinations, I had taken NyQuil and Benadryl to help me sleep and not drown in my own snot. Oh, and I also had a few hot toddies, so alcohol.

Apparently, Benadryl has been known to cause weird reactions in perfectly normal people. Such as vivid hallucinations or waking dreams.

So instead of scheduling expensive tests, we chalked it up to weird drug interactions, was told to come back if anything similar happened and to get a goddamn PCP. Husband took me home and I slept. Btw, while I was freaking out and still hopped up on drugs, I did check the call records, and his ex's number wasn't on the call or text list.

EDIT: Yeah, guys, in retrospect, mixing two kinds of drugs that (apparently, never knew this, and thanks for telling me, bc I wouldn't have known) do the same thing was really damn stupid. I won't be doing it again. Also probably never taking acetaminophen either, judging from some of your comments. Or alcohol. Also, I'm actually really relived I'm not alone in the whole mind-trip thing. I'm sorry for anyone who experienced what I did and doubt their own reality.

tl;dr NyQuil, Benadryl, and alcohol should not be mixed as Benadryl is evil.

Relevant Comments:

Commenter 1:

Any follow-up to this comment you made?

> "This sort of thing used to happen to my grandmother. I don't want it to happen to me. I don't want to tell my husband."

>> OOP: The doctor seemed to think my experience was just drug-related. He said if I experienced any other hallucinations, especially ones that didn't go away, to consult a psychiatrist. My grandmother would see aliens, and remember conversations that never happened. However, she was also a big drug and alcohol user, so...

Commenter 2: What about that part where you said that this sort of thing happened to your grandmother?

> OOP: It's hard to tell if my grandmother was just mentally ill because she was also a drug and alcohol user. I mention it in another comment, but she would see aliens, and remember conversations that never happened.

Commenter 3: I've used benadryl (diphenhydramine) as a sleep aid and have had some crazy dreams. I think even sleep walked a couple times. I've also heard that if you take a high enough dose you can see some crazy shit while awake but nothing that you'd want to see.

> OOP: I also sleepwalk just in general. About a week ago, I woke up in my car about halfway to work. I was having a dream one of my charges was dying (I work with animals) and I had to go save her and give her medication. > >> Commenter 4: WOAH WOAH WOAH. OP, this is a HUGE red flag about your sleep quality. You could have killed someone! Please get yourself to the doctor for a sleep study. I can't believe no one has commented on this! > > OOP: I know, I feel really bad about it, but I can't really do anything about it or prevent it. I make sure I leave my keys in the house and lock the car doors now, though, so it's harder for me to go places while asleep.

Commenter 5: The kids call this DMX, if I'm not mistaken. Fun, huh?

> OOP:* Nooooope. Not sure why anyone would think this kind of feeling is fun. It makes you bug shit crazy. I honestly didn't even think about what I was doing while I was doing it. I was like "hey I think my allergies are more severe today" when I started coughing and couldn't breathe, so I took Benadryl. And then I realized I was actually getting sick, so I unthinkingly took NyQuil so I could sleep. And then I was getting chills a little while later, so I mixed myself up a hot toddie, and felt better. Fell asleep pretty damn fast.

OOP Replying to a deleted comment: Thanks- I feel pretty stupid, and though ppl here helped hammer it home (apart for my husband, who is pretty upset) people saying I deserved this are out of line. I, personally, don't care if anyone believes me or not, though people believing me means I get advice. But the people telling me you hope my husband dumps me, or I'm a crazy bitch is actually hurtful and a little damaging. I know you're "people on the Internet"- but if I were a person in real life, telling this to people she knew, would you feel good about yourself, walking up to me and saying "dumbass bitch, I hope your husband gets rid of your crazy ass"? And if you would, what does that say about you?

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Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs.

I haven’t told my best friend any of this yet, and her wedding isn’t until October 2027, so I’m trying to decide what to do before things get closer.
For privacy, I’ll call my best friend Bonnie and the other bridesmaid Lily.
The three of us used to be inseparable. We were all best friends for years, but eventually my friendship with Lily completely fell apart.
Lily was someone who got upset with me a lot. If I canceled plans because something came up or got off a video game to spend time with my boyfriend, she’d tell me I was choosing him over her or that I was a bad friend. She was also in a relationship where her boyfriend cheated on her multiple times. I listened and supported her for a long time, but after hearing about the same problems over and over while nothing changed, I became emotionally drained.
Eventually I reached my breaking point. I told her I didn’t want to continue the friendship and blocked her.
Bonnie ended up caught in the middle. Lily would tell Bonnie I was a bitch or that I was a terrible friend. I told Bonnie that I still cared about Lily and would always love her like a sister, but I couldn’t continue a friendship that was affecting my own mental well-being. I felt like we’d become completely different people.
A couple of weeks ago Bonnie had her engagement party. My boyfriend and I showed up early to help decorate and set everything up. Lily arrived a few hours later. Right before she got there, my boyfriend and I stepped outside for a few minutes just to talk.
Apparently Lily told Bonnie that I only went outside because she had arrived.
From my perspective, that wasn’t true. I honestly didn’t want to spend the night feeling uncomfortable or getting dirty looks, and I did leave not too long after she got there because I didn’t want there to be any awkwardness. But hearing that she immediately told Bonnie I went outside because of her made me feel like she was still trying to create drama.
A few days after the engagement party was when I started seriously questioning whether I even wanted to be a bridesmaid anymore.
The part I’m struggling with the most isn’t even Lily anymore. It’s Bonnie.
I know Bonnie has been stuck in the middle for years, and I don’t expect her to choose between us. It’s her wedding, and she has every right to have whoever she wants standing beside her.
But I also don’t know what gets said when I’m not around.
If Lily is calling me names or talking badly about me, does Bonnie defend me? Does she stay silent? Does she agree? I honestly have no idea, and that uncertainty has made it hard for me to fully trust her.
Part of me feels guilty because Bonnie hasn’t actually done anything directly to me. Another part of me feels like if one of my closest friends was constantly being insulted, I’d speak up for them.
At this point, I’m wondering if it’s better to step down as a bridesmaid now instead of forcing myself through months of wedding planning, dress shopping, a bachelorette party, rehearsals, and the wedding day while feeling anxious and uncomfortable.
I also know that if stepping down ends up ending my friendship with Bonnie, I’m not sure I’d even be as upset as I thought I would be because lately I’ve started questioning how strong our friendship really is.

Partner dropped me off at my mums at 1pm, he was going to go see his friend to have lunch and then come back to my mums so we could all spend a little time together. It hits 9 and he still hasn’t left, my mum sleeps early. It hits 10 now and he still hasn’t left. But I have to leave so I explain to him look I have to leave now because my mum needs to lock her door, bare in mind he lost a set of are keys, so he has the only keys. He says he left and then ten minutes later messages me that he’s only 44 minutes away. So I get a cab home.

I finally get home, and call him and he still hasnt left. I live in an extremely extremely rough area. He thinks it’s funny and is laughing on the phone. I lost my shit I cussed him out. Now it’s 12 and he still hasn’t left… I’m still waiting outside, so I broke up with him. He’s forcing me to send him proof I’m actually outside which I am and I just found that even weirder. My phones dying, I don’t live locally to anyone I know, it hits 12:40 so I knock on the neighbours door and ask if I can climb the garden fence as I knew I had left the garden door unlocked they let me thankfully.

I pack all my partners stuff in bin bags. He has the nerve to come home at 2am and call me childish, and then say “it’s not like I was cheating I was just with my friends” my problem isn’t that he was with his friends my problem is that he left me outside alone knowing I was alone in a bad bad area for 3 hrs and if I hadn’t knocked on the neighbours door I would’ve been outside until 2? Are you for real? And he also got upset I involved the neighbours.

Am I being dramatic or is this not a really bad thing to do to someone you claim to love and care for? Because I would never do it.

Edit:

I just want to thank you all so much for your responses, and for taking your own time out of your day to respond to me and make my feelings feel validated as sometimes I can genuinely be a moron, and in the past have been very quick to forgive.

I will not go back, and thank you for ensuring I wasn’t dramatic, as I was starting to feel that maybe I did over react but it’s clear as day I didn’t and my two year relationship genuinely meant nothing!

Thank you again ❤️

Last edit:

He finally woke up and started to apologise I told him he didn’t even know why he was apologising and he went on to say I’m just possessive, controlling and dramatic. That’s I shouldn’t have messaged him that many times or called that many times. I just said whatever i can’t be asked to argue, I’m dramatic I’m dramatic this is why your apology’s mean nothing because you’ll apologise and then blame me regardless, but we’re finished. So you don’t have to worry about me being controlling or possessive anymore, you go your way and I’ll go mine.

Again thank you to all of you that responded, I appreciate it more than words can explain ❤️

Another update:

Apparently I’m an evil and deranged person when things don’t go my way and I’m someone no one can start a future or a family with

I (25F) recently got married to my (25M) husband in Bali, Indonesia in January. It was a destination wedding, but my parents and his parents paid for their own plane tickets and hotel, but we paid for our friends plane tickets and hotel stays. Each plane ticket was about $2000 USD and hotel was maybe about $150-300 for a week. My friend “Gemma” brought along her newly wed husband “John” along but paid for his plane ticket. The problem is that Gemma and John did not show up to my wedding. Gemma took the free plane ticket to Bali and the hotel room and when I asked her why she didn’t show up she said that since they couldn’t afford their own honeymoon that this was a perfect opportunity and that Jim decided that he didn’t feel like going. I was really hurt by this since Gemma and I have been friends for over 10 years. WIBTA if I took her to small claims court for the money I spent on the plane ticket and hotel?

UPDATE: I messaged Gemma per multiple comments advising me to invoice her for the plane ticket and hotel room, but I did something a little better. I wanted to get proof so if I had to go to court it would be easier to win. I messaged her this:

“Hey sorry for being so distant but I just wanted to talk to you about Bali. Im hurt that you didn’t show up to the ceremony. I pulled a lot of strings to ensure that you could come and then you didn’t show up. Did you think i paid for the trip just so you could honeymoon with John?”

She replied, “Ive missed you a lot and I know I the trip was for ur wedding but John didn’t want to go bc he felt like your wedding ruined the illusion of the trip being our honeymoon and that you’d understand.”

I replied, “no I don’t understand. You took advantage of me and that’s not what real friends do. So I’m sending invoicing you $2387.53 for the cost of the plane ticket and hotel room. I will give you 30 days and after that I will be taking legal action.”

I received no response but she’s been posting subliminal quotes on Instagram that are along the lines of entitled friends and having snakes in your life.

Thank you all for your verdicts and help.

Edit/Update part 2:

I didn’t think this could get worse, but here we are.

I didn’t respond to any of the subliminal messages she posted about me on social media and I’ve been very quiet while I’ve been getting my ducks in a row for the litigation.

But, this past Friday she sent me a 3 page audit of financial and emotional contributions from 2015-present.

I wish i was fucking joking.

The audits:

- She itemized every dinner or lunch we’ve ever ate together (she estimated $18 per meal).

- Gas money for driving to and from hangouts

- A birthday gift from 2017 that she now claims she went into debt for, time spent emotionally supporting me after my dad passed. She said she took on the role a grief counselor for me even though I talked to her on the phone about it once for 30 minutes.

- One time she helped me move apartments. She wants to be paid for her labor

- And emotional distress caused by me threatening litigation

Her grand total? $2,412.09 which is conveniently within $25 of what I invoiced her. She then told me that if we’re really keeping score that I actually owe her $24.56.

I think I stared at the document for 10 minutes in silence in shock from the audacity because this bitch is delusional.

To clarify: I never asked her to cook for me. While I was in college, she did pay for lunches BUT when I definitely returned the favor big time once I graduated. I bought her many gifts over the years, I’ve let her stay at my house several times when she and John argued, and I have also lended a shoulder for her to cry on when she had difficult times in life, but apparently being a friend is now billable? I decided to give the message a thumbs down because if I respond I will be extremely disrespectful with the anger I am facing. I cannot wait for these 30 days to be over because I will be suing the fuck out of her.

Final Update:

Sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I've been trying to get my ducks in a row before I proceeded with everything.

While doing that, I was going through photos from Bali and ended up on the Instagram page of a local photographer who took pictures of me and my husband during a sailing excursion we went on. I was scrolling through their page and looking at random groups when I saw a very familiar face. It was Gemma and a man. And it wasn't John. It was a man I had never seen before.

There were multiple photos. One where they were just sitting down with drinks, one with Gemma and the guy wrapping his arm around her, and one of them kissing.

That's when everything clicked. My wedding was the day after everyone landed, which is why I never saw her at all, not at the hotel, not around town, nothing. I just assumed that she was trying to lie low around town to avoid a confrontation with me. She didn't skip my wedding because John didn't feel like going or that my wedding ruined the illusion of the trip being their honeymoon. She skipped it because she wasn't there with John, but with another man.

After seeing this photo of her and her affair partner, I decided to do my own detective work. I went to her instagram page and tried to see if I could find the guys instagram page in her following list or follower list. Nada. I tried to see if any guy that remotely looked like him was in her likes or comments. Nope. I felt defeated until I remembered about Gemma's small pottery instagram account and boom I found him. Let's say his name is Ryan. Ryan had severals photos that were taken in Bali on his page. He even had a photo of himself in the hotel room that I paid for. I was beyond pissed and just wanted to get my money back and just be done with Gemma altogether.

On the day of our court date, I told my side, showed the judge the text messages, and explained that I paid for her trip so she could attend my wedding and she didn't show up. Gemma claimed that the trip was a gift for her new marriage and not contingent on attending.

I didn't even have to bring up the fact that she didn't bring John because the judge didn't buy Gemma's story. I was awarded the full amount back. Gemma walked out of the courtroom without even looking at me. I know she was pissed. And as expected.... she went straight to Instagram and this time, she didn't hold back at all.

She started posting about me on her story, calling me a bitch, saying that's why I've can't have kids, posting photos of me calling me fat, saying that she'll go spit on the grave of my dead grandmother. Just diabolical mean girl stuff. The last time she brought our drama to social media, I ignored it. But not this time. I know what I did next was stooping to her level, but I didn't care.

I posted the photo of her kissing Ryan on my story and tagged her AND John in it. I captioned it, "Sorry we missed you in Bali. Hope you had fun!"

Within minutes, she began spamming my phone. She was calling, texting, leaving voicemails, screaming at me. And before I blocked her on everything, I messaged her one last time. I said, "You should've just come to the wedding."

So my wife (F36) and I (M35) have two kids. She is a SAHM. I do most the house chores most days (vacuum, laundry, bathrooms, organize play spaces), I also make breakfast for the family every morning before I go to work and get the kids to sleep (3 and 6 yo). The only thing I don’t do is the back yard, but that’s her garden so not my responsibility.

That was the context for what I do on a daily basis.

She, be choice, leads a learning co-op (not a play group but a learning group that requires her to create curriculum), started a new summer gardening class for kids, and is currently taking three childhood development classes via online community college (about 2-4 hours of work each day).

She has no free time and has asked me to take on more responsibilities for our family, ones that would have been on her plate.

I’m done. I am I the asshole for not wanting to do even more since this was all self-inflicted? Or do I step up and “rescue” her from her own choices. Again.

I got mad at my husband for letting a stranger in to take a 💩. Some guy rang our doorbell and said he was a door to door salesman (he had one of those Segways) and he need to use a restroom.

My husband let him in.

The guy stank it up

We could have been on the next unsolved mysteries. What was my husband thinking? I appreciate his trustworthiness and kindness but NOPE. What would you have done? I was working upstairs and heard him in the bathroom, locked myself in my room/office with pepper spray lol. I'm thinking to my husband your own your own if you let in an axe murderer.

Buckle up guys cuz boy am I in a pickle. I f(33) have been dating my boyfriend m(39) for a year now. We'll call him J. He has a 9 year old with his ex, L f(39) and they all live together a few miles away from me. L knows of me but, I think, only to an extent. The reason I've even allowed it to get this far the way it is is because J is adamant that he does not want to cause harm to anyone in his family. For some back story, when we first started seeing each other, I had a whole ass other boyfriend and J and L were still technically together. They had been together for about 14 years but he would talk to me about how she doesn't "see" him and they haven't had a sex life in 2 years and has been sleeping on the couch forever. My situation, of only 7 months or so (not living together), was actually similar in terms of feeling seen so we related in that way. We also have many years of sobriety from opiates. I had had a crush on him for years and was really excited when he came onto me so I shut my whole other situation down right away and within maybe two weeks he had told L he didn't want to be with her in that way anymore but wasn't going to kick her out. (Her family lives in Delaware, we're in CT and he fears she'd take their son all the way out there if he blew the whole thing up). J ended up hiring me to work with him temporarily since my full time job is during the summertime only. We had an awesome Winter, got to see each other all day every day and he would stay with me late into the evenings. The job was selling liquor & wine to both package stores and restaurants so we were heavily drinking over most of this time and just having a blast. Things are a little different now, I still see him every day after work but he goes home earlier to be more present for his son, which is great and I know has been really good for the boy. From the first day we hooked up I didn't expect him to be affectionate in public but he picked me up the very next day and we were just full on together holding hands, kissing, right out in the open. She doesn't really have any friends out here (we're all initially from different counties) so the amount of people who see us every day, nothing gets back to her. Which, I've been kind of wishing wasn't the case. She had known of me before we were together because we were friends and he would talk about me from time to time. She went through his phone one day and found a text from a different girl who had seen us out together and asked him "is that wifey? she is beautiful" and he replied with "that isn't my son's mother but yes and isn't she?!" He always introduces me as his girlfriend now, he didn't use to.

Side note just so you have all of the information: for the first four or five months he always said he didn't want his situation to "hold me hostage" and that if I wanted to go home with someone else when he's not around, feel free to. I was, and still am, all in on him so I wasn't tempted to at first. By this point I'm saying I love you to him and told him not to feel pressured to say it back but that's how I felt so I'm comfortable saying it. SO, out of general annoyance at this encouraged act, an opportunity arose and I end up taking him up on his offer and did go home with someone else and he found out very shortly after (not that I was hiding it, he never asked) and he absolutely lost it. He proceeds to profess his love for me and that he should have been telling me how much he loves me all along so we decide to stay together exclusively and make it work, which is when he started openly introducing me as his girlfriend to everyone (except our colleagues, who do suspect that we are, but I'm back at my real job now so who cares.) He now makes it a point to tell me how much he loves me every day. I fully regret having the hookup but he should not have encouraged me so much and for so long to do it in the first place so I try not to be too hard on myself about it but damn, seeing him so hurt crushed my soul. That was about 8 months ago but I know it still bothers him to think about. I truly don't want any one else and can totally see myself with J forever. We are able to talk just about anything out and that is a rare key that most relationships lack.

Anyway, I know there was a conversation where L said to J "so you've just been sleeping with her the whole time?" and instead of using that opportunity to be honest HE FUCKING LIES and says "no, we slept together once in June and have been best friends ever since." and basically tells her we got close because of working together when we were already VERY MUCH TOGETHER when he hired me! We literally talk about getting married, living together and having babies every day and this girl is probably just bopping around their house thinking they'll be back together because they get along and co-parent so well.

Moving in together is financially not possible for us right now and he got a dui back in January adding about $8,000 in fees to his situation and I just don't make the best money where I work and plan to find something new and permanent after this season. After the dui his drinking got really bad, he was just devastated. He ended up detoxing and going back to therapy and is now doing so much better. He hasn't drank in almost 16 weeks and therefore makes much better choices, goes home a lot earlier, which sucks for me, but I'm happy he's healthy and being the father he didn't have.

He told me from the beginning that he expected it would take 2 years to get out of his situation and I reflect on that often and think, phew, half way there right...? But sometimes I think of how much work it will be for him to make the change and I just don't know that he'll actually do it. He tells me he's not comfortable when he's home and thinks of me the whole time and I think that was true at one point but I feel like things are a little different now. Ever since he broke up with L she has really worked on herself. She got off suboxone and is now actually present and is a great mom. She's getting work done on her teeth, lost a ton of weight and took up kickboxing. I'm all for her growing, you go girl. I just feel like hiding me from her is not right to either one of us. I know this really seems like a "have your cake and eat it too" kind of thing but I genuinely trust him. He's been honest with me on what he does share with her about us and I think that says a lot about his character. I can also appreciate that he doesn't want to cause harm but I've finally said to him that I think he's protecting the wrong woman's feelings by this point. How do you think you're preventing harm by hiding a whole girlfriend for a year and counting? Don't you think it will be so much worse when she does find out? She could have been a year into getting over it by now!

I think it's important to mention how much this man has changed my life. Overall he's been an extremely positive influence. He truly inspires me to invest in myself. I've cut ties with people who brought me nothing but negativity. I wake up early and am super productive where I used to kind of allow depression to take over. I can at least say that if this doesn't work out the way I want it to, I've certainly learned a lot about myself. A younger version of me wouldn't have thought twice about telling this girl everything. I don't want to have to give him an ultimatum but he's put me in such a fucked up position here. I'm sure she would much rather hear it from him than from me, we've never even met. I would just feel better if she knew. She's never had to take care of herself, he's paid for everything their whole life together. All I know is, if my ex was living with me and seeing someone else, I would be working towards moving out... but if she doesn't know how serious we are why would she change anything. Our friends tell me they think she knows and is just in denial and doesn't want to uproot their lives. I just don't see how this is protecting the child either. Things like this always inevitably come out.

If you're still with me I appreciate you taking the time, I know this is a lot! It's tough to keep a year's worth of shit brief. What the hell do I do here to not be the asshole?

Okay so to start off I (f) always have YouTube or smth playing on my tv and on this day one of smosh Reddit videos was playing on my tv. Well my boyfriend of multiple years comes over and we’re just hanging out as the video is on in the background. We start getting sussy ok. And I cannot remember which episode it was but they were talking about if people were yk while watching the video and kept talking about it and asked us to reply to the comments if anyone was doing so. We had to switch the tv off. But I think about it often.

Original Title: I'm not sure how to approach the situation about my colleague asking inappropriate questions.

Originally posted by u/After_Quarter3267 in r/TwoHotTakes

Trigger Warnings: >!Workplace harassment, mentions of serial sexual assault (SA)!<

Mood Spoiler: >!Disturbing, anxious, and frustrating, but ultimately ends with safety and closure.!<

---

Original Post - August 26, 2024

Original Title: I'm not sure how to approach the situation about my colleague asking inappropriate questions.

I (20F) work at a market stall as a wine saleswoman on the weekends. I’ve been working there for a few months over a year. I always do my best to be friendly to stall holders and the staff that setup and maintain the market. To be friendly to the staff, I greet them, give them discounts on my wines and sometimes have causal conversations.

Recently a work colleague Steve (between 40-50M) who setups and maintains the markets is recently asking suspicious questions. In the past we had friendly and causal conversations for example, about pets and movies. Now he’s asking questions like: “Have you been going to the gym it looks like you’ve lost weight.” And, “Have you been going on dates?” My gut is telling me that I need to do something because this isn’t friendly and is creepy. I want to know what precautions to take to keep myself safe. I’m not sure what type of evidence to collect or anything and also he’s authorised to look the security cameras.

I’m not sure what I did that could lead him on, besides from me just being friendly. I havent told anyone because I don’t want to get Steve in trouble if he had no ill intentions or get myself in trouble.

What should I do?

Thanks for reading.

First Update - May 12, 2026

Original Title: *UPDATE-I'm not sure how to approach the situation about my colleague asking inappropriate questions. (TW: SA) *

(Trigger Warning: >!SA!<)

I (now 22 F) previously posted about inappropriate questions asked by a work colleague Steve. After that post, he made a statement saying, “I'm learning chiropractic and want to try it on you.” Also, he was a handyman at the markets.

Here’s the distressing news I just found out today he was a convicted serial >!SAer!< who spent 10 years in jail and was released in 2021, I started working late 2022. He pleaded guilty to 31 different offences. Such as, Aggravated >!sexual penetration without consent!<, deprivation of liberty, armed robbery and fraud. The worst part is that the owner of the markets knew. The market is supposed to be a family-friendly tourism place. When the tenants found out and confronted him the owner came to his defence threatening to evict them from their stall. The good news is that he has quit his job.

From your advice after the post, I was more blunt and less friendly than I would be towards other colleagues. I also told my dad (the owner of the wine stall), who told me not to worry about it. I didn't report and glad I didn't now knowing the owner wouldn't help me at all. The thing is as soon as I found out I told Dad about it and turns out he knew and didn't want me to worry. I’m upset because I should’ve known. But recently he had two major operations this month and is not doing so well at the moment.

I feel scared, yet vindicated. I got worried I was overanalysing the comments/questions from Steve or wondering if the reason was me being too friendly. Turns out it's because he was being a predator.

I’m glad he is not working, but will be anxious of the possibility of meeting him again.

Thank you for reading and your support. Please ask if I left anything out.

Also if Two Hot Takes wants to use this story I don't mind.

Second Update - May 15, 2026

Original Title: *UPDATE : 2- I'm not sure how to approach the situation about my colleague asking inappropriate questions. (TW: SA) *

(Trigger Warning: >!SA!<)

Thank you so much for your advice and for taking the time to read and respond.

I (22F) asked the market manager and another handyman some questions, like whether any other tenants had reported him saying inappropriate things to them, and they said no. The manager pointed out that I should have reported it to her, she would have told Steve not to do that, as she deals with sexual harassment among tenants all the time. She did make an example of a woman reporting that a man asked if she was cold wearing shorts and made him apologise but the manager told me in a tone that insisted the woman reporting was overreacting. She said that Steve was reformed, meaning he was allowed to be among the public.

To be honest, I’m glad I didn’t report it because the very reason I didn’t was that I didn’t want any attention drawn to me, I didn’t feel comfortable with the tone she was using on me and also Steve wasn’t just some other tenant he was the handyman one of his jobs was providing security. The other handyman I’ll call Bob was good though and talked to me in a kind tone, he also banned a creepy old customer a while back. From the response, I made a folio on our interactions as detailed as possible to help me remember and communicate.

I forgot to mention this in the last post. One of the main reasons I was terrified about Steve, was because he wrote >!sexualising and objectifying notes about his targets and victims!<, according to news articles. I was scared he was targeting me with similar intentions from the comments and questions he made towards me.

After work, I went to the police station to make a report on the sexual harassment at work. I asked my mum to accompany me for emotional support as I was anxious. The police officer did a great job of telling me what I can do. He told me to get an app that I can provide/report intel for offices to any crimes or suspicious activity. He gave me instructions that if I come across Steve again I should firmly tell him that I’m not going to engage in a conversation and if he persists I can obtain a restraining order. Also, I got pepper spray only if I need to. Even though everything is still fresh and I still feel startled I have closure. Because his reputation is destroyed, I don’t think I will see him around again, hopefully.

Right now, can you please give me advice on how I can move on and process this week?

### OOP's story has concluded.

Hey there,

first I wanna thank you for all the responses in my original post. I really appreciate it.

For the update: The day after my original post, I reached out to my friend and asked, if she has time the next few days. We meet today for a nice long stroll in the park. The beginning was kind of awkward, because we never had a fight before. Normally it's also not a problem, when life is busy and we don't write for a few days or even weeks but today it somehow feels strange. I'm not a fan of beating around the bush, so I simply asked her "So, in that burger place... What exactly triggered you?"

Honestly, it was like poking a water balloon. She apologized for everything and how afraid she was I might be still mad at her and apologized some more. Then she explained to me, what her trigger was. What can I say, we all were kind of wrong.

You guys, it's her aunt! She has an aunt, who will always bring a few boxes for family gatherings. But instead of waiting until everyone is done and the food is BACK in the kitchen, which is fine, she sometimes fills the boxes BEFORE it goes to the table. Because my friends grandma knows of this behavior, she started to cook even more, but the aunt just brought more boxes as well. But that's not all! Said aunt will also bring boxes to restaurants and if they order different meals, so everyone can have a try from all the plates, she's like "Noone wants that anymore, right?", and packs, while people are still eating. My friend is a slow eater, so often her aunt filled her boxes, before she could try everything she wanted.

I always wanted to use the word flabbergasted in a post. I think this is the right time. I was definitely flabbergasted! How impudent can a person be?!

I asked, why noone is saying anything about it, but they are all just too tired to deal with her outbreaks. It's easier to say nothing. I felt that....

So yeah, she knew it was my food and everything, but it also triggered her real bad.

I apologized as well for not warning her, but she said it was totally her fault. I said, I will make sure the next time, but she was like "Nono, it's a nice way to work on it."

Well, in the end we had a really nice stroll, talked about different things and everything is good. I'm really glad, that we cleared that out though.

Thank you for reading this. Have a great day and a nice week.

Edit to clear some common questions and concerns up.

1 - I have a GI who is aware that I have to do this to poop.

2 - I’ve had several colonoscopies and an endoscopy

3 - fiber does nothing. I’ve been vegetarian and vegan for years at a time. Drink over a gallon of water a day + coffee and a soda at night. I’ve tried all kinds of fad diets for my GI issues, from carnivore to vegan to high fiber to basically just the BRAT diet, to elimination diets to allergy and celiac sensitive diets. None have done anything.

4 - stool softeners and laxitives, even prescription strength stuff, has never worked. It will cause cramps, but never produce a bowel movement. I rely heavily on fleet enemas due to this. The longest I went without shitting was 3 weeks while hospitalized and I had to have an enema there too. In fact, several, to clean me out.

5 - I have had constipation issues since I was a toddler. In fact I had difficultly potty training due to it, because I literally couldn’t poop without sitting and pushing for hours

A year ago I installed a handheld bidet in our bathroom. My entire life I have had bad constipation, but specifically during pregnancy and heavily relied on fleet enemas to help me go.

I installed the shataff and quickly realized I can use it as an enema if I relax my asshole and allow the jet stream of water to empty my lower intestines. This truly works great, I was pooping everyday, I always felt clean, I stopped grunting and pushing for hours.

This is true, still. What I did not know is that doing this everyday would result in my body becoming reliant on this method, and not know how to take a shit without it.

Jump to my vacation. I'm eating my favorite foods, not a care in the world, day 1 and day 2 go by and I haven't pooped. Thats fine, maybe tomorrow. Day 3 comes around and I'm feeling bloated and my stomach hurts. Fine, I'll just take it easy at dinner. and then day 4 comes.

Day 4 I was woken up by the familiar grumblings of "oh god I have to shit right now" and I ran to the bathroom. I prepared my phone with a good video, took my vape, handed the baby off to my husband and waited. And waited. And waited. I pushed and pushed and nothing, I mean nothing was coming out. I was in there a while and decided "okay, maybe later"

I pulled up my pants and went about my day.

Day 5 came. Poop did not. At this point my stomach was hurting so fucking bad. I must have tried 20 times to poop. It never arrived.

Finally, we jump to day 7, after 7 full days of not shitting, and a 9 hour road trip I make it upstairs to my beloved amazon bidet. I relax my asshole, position the shattaf, and spray.

What resulted was a baseball size turd flying out of my asshole at mach speed. I mean, I have seen missiles go slower. 0 warm up, 0 hesitation, just a huge, hard turd propelled by a torrential downpour of cold water shooting up my ass. Immediately I knew I fucked up. What followed was 45 minutes of golf ball sized turds slowly making their way out. I would spray and 2-3 would shoot out. My asshole hurt so bad from the first volley that each new shit nugget making its way out would wreck me more and more. My stomach grumbled as each spray dislodged more and more impacted shit from my innards.

And then came the diarrhea. I assume this is what liquified inside of me, almost fermenting, during Hell Week. Hot, frothy, terrible nd stinging as it shot out after finally the water had dislodged as much as it could. It took 3-4 flushes to fully clear the bowl.

What do I do now? I have no idea. Do I continue the cycle? Do I go through this until my stomach normalizes? I have truly not a clue. What I do know is that I weigh 12 lbs less than I did this morning.

TLDR: Used bidet as an enema, couldn't shit on vacation, came home and used my bidet, lost 12 lbs of pure shit weight in what I can describe as only the Devil's Marathon of shitting.

[removed]

Hi everyone! I have been listening to smosh reads Reddit stories for a year or two now, and have started listening on every single run and it has really motivated me to go on runs. The issue is, I am almost out of Reddit stories. I have tried a few similar podcasts but none so far have been the same. I love the humor, people, but also how the podcast is broken up into roughly ten minutes segments.

Any advice for another podcast to try out?