severely struggling with RJ
my gf (28f) and i (24f) have been dating for one year. she has been in a couple of long term relationships with men but i am her first woman. i've only ever been in situationships so this is my first healthy long term relationship. everything feels great with her and she checks most of my boxes when it comes to being in a long term relationship. i recently have been incredibly caught up with my obsessive thinking about her and her most recent ex.
they dated for nearly 3 years, a lot of which was long distance, but eventually moved in together. they ended on good terms due to a difference in what they wanted out of life. they share a cat, which she still owns. they were following each other on social media until this week, when i expressed that it made me uncomfortable and helped fuel my RJ.
during their time as a long distance couple, she visited him in Japan a couple of times - once for a week or two, and again for 5 weeks. she talks about how much she misses it there and is dying to go back. i went there in november with a friend and had a great time. i would like to go back as well, but can't help and think about her and her ex living their lives together there. i've told her about my fears and she's been really good at reassuring me that she loves Japan for it's culture, food, etc. but I still can't shake the thought.
i have made the great mistake of stalking her social media pages and finding old pictures of them as a happy couple. i went into full on crazy mode and ended up finding her ex's page, his family, etc. where i found even more pictures. now i find that these images run through my head almost daily. this extremity has amplified over the past month or so and i can't seem to get it under control. i even find myself thinking about how he got to see all of her various facial expressions and emotions the same way i get to see them and it makes it feel less special or like it's not solely ours.
i am seeing a new therapist in a couple of days but i am starting to lose hope and fear that i am going to ruin our relationship because of this. i feel terrible for her because it is affecting me daily, and she can't do anything about it.
any advice/friendly reminders would be GREATLY appreciated.