u/Opposite-Total-1876

I don't even know how to explain my situation. And my problem is pretty disgusting. But I'll try to explain.

So first and foremost, I need to clarify that I am not gay. I do not find males attractive and that is it. There is no need of "be your true self and embrace it" type of responses. I have a p*rn/h*ntai addiction and m*sturbation. It is not as severe as multiple times every single day. it is maybe 5-6 times a week or something.

So in the beginning, I watched some homosexual stuff, but in a different way. Those disgusting categories like "feminization" and "crossdressing". In the internet there are a lot of such comics/mangas and it all started as "let's try smth new for fun". But now, situation is problematic. I masturbate for those mangas/h*ntais where male is crossdressing and is p*gg*d or shit like this. All that stuff like "futa" and s*x between 2 guys who look like females and this shit. I mean yeah, these are not pure g*y p*rn, but it is still disgusting. It all came down to a fact that now I am unable to m*sturbate properly to straight p*rn and h*ntai. This shit is so messed up. I don't know what to do at this point.

I tried to quit this addiction numerous times, but the most I could go was 1 month, while pretty much any other time, 1.5-2 weeks were my limit.

All of this is extremely uncomfortable for me to bring up. I had the idea to ask for advice sooner, but I couldn't bring myself to it until now. I thought that I should seek help and thus I am here