How do I make my girlfriend understand that she doesn’t need to give me anything in return?
Problem/Goal:
Me and my girlfriend are almost at our 1st anniversary, pero I’m having a hard time figuring out how to make her stop feeling guilty about what she thinks she can’t give back to me. I want her to understand na she doesn’t owe me anything and that I’m genuinely happy with her kahit walang gifts or money.
Context:
Earlier, she was crying and sinabi niya na she feels like she doesn’t deserve me. I’ve been giving her gifts, helping her with her college allowance, and doing things for her whenever I can. I do these things because I love her and gusto ko siyang tulungan. Never ko naman siya sinumbatan or expected na kailangan niya akong bayaran or pantayan yung ginagawa ko.
Pero sinabi niya na nalulungkot siya kasi she feels like she can’t give the same things back to me. Especially ngayon na malapit na anniversary namin, gusto niya rin daw akong mapasaya and give me something, pero dahil financially unstable siya, feeling niya wala siyang maibibigay na meaningful.
Honestly, nalulungkot din ako seeing her cry about this. Ayoko kasi na isipin niya na kailangan niyang pantayan lahat ng ginagawa ko. I don’t measure her love through gifts or money. Kahit simple lang gawin niya for me, or kahit wala siyang mabigay sa anniversary namin, okay lang talaga sa akin.
Previous Attempt:
I already reassured her and told her na she doesn’t have to give me anything. Sinabi ko rin na okay lang sa akin yung situation namin and that I’m not expecting anything in return. I’m doing these things for her because I genuinely want to, not because I’m keeping score.
Pero kahit sinabi ko na okay lang, I can tell na hindi pa rin siya okay. She still feels guilty and parang feeling niya kailangan niyang somehow “match” everything I’ve done for her.
So my question is, **how can I properly reassure her and make her understand na she doesn’t need to feel like she has to deserve me or give me something in return?** I really don’t want her to feel pressured, especially with our anniversary coming up.