undiagnosed chronic pain/multiple diagnosed autoimmune diseases; therapist tells me I'm the one who caused it unconsciously
so I've been crying all day because I'm confused and don't see a way out anymore. I'm basically fully dependent on my family for everything, all I'm able to do is do short walks and do stuff around the house, sometimes. I have chronic pelvic pain that, despite my diagnoses, like hypothyroidism and endometriosis, doctors can't find a reason for. I've been doing several investigations, so i decided that, in the meantime, i should see a therapist so at least my mind can be in a decent state. all i hear is that i do this to myself, everything is emotionally related, and if i don't begin doing stuff it'll never end, and that I'll probably never find a physical reason either. my question is: how did me, myself and i put a physical illness in my body, that shows physical signs and how am i supposed to begin doing stuff, if when i open my eyes I'm stiff and in crucial pain, let alone when i start moving. I've always been an active, free and stubborn person, the pain is what destroyed me, not the other way around. my blood tests are looking worse and worse, is it all my fault? are all the people that have been depressed for a long time in physical pain that doesn't let them move? like, okay, i would've been fine with this take if my only issue was a tummy ache, but this is so much more. it shows in tests, mri's and ultrasounds, it's constant. I'm utterly perplexed.