u/OrangeCatWhiteDog

I am 8 months off adderall/vyvanse. I do have a job now and some of my relationships have improved a little but day to day I feel terrible and hopeless. My anhedonia has not lifted at all, I feel constant fatigue. I do drink which I’m working on but I’ve even quit weed for the time being. Literally nothing makes me happy. There is no magic to life. I feel dumb (like poor memory and not as good at things as I used to be) and do nothing all day. Before I abused heavily starting in 2022, I took it once or twice every 1-2 weeks for over 10 years. I would do difficult assignments, huge projects, complicated aspects of my hobbies or just game or do art for hours. Otherwise I was functional and lived normally. Just saved it for those occasions.

I feel like I’ve seen zero benefits from getting clean off stims and even though I know the 3 years of binging was ruining my life, I regret ratting myself out to my doctor. I want them back. The cravings lately have been torture.

I don’t feel like I’ll ever be the same and I don’t want to go forward, I just wish I could go back.

I don’t know how to deal with this. Feels like my life is not worth living anymore. Like I’ve used it up and it’s over.

I was an amphetamine addict until 8 month ago but I’ve replaced it with alcohol. Currently sitting outside waiting for a bottle to arrive via DoorDash, my husband will be pissed.

I’ve taken shrooms a bunch drunk and it’s been fun. I’ve taken them a few times sober and it’s been difficult.

Has anyone had shrooms help alcoholism? Im logically aware of all the problems inside but unable to cope with the moment to moment discomfort. I don’t think shrooms while drunk will help. I think I have to take them sober and be uncomfortable with what I face.

Input?

I have officially made it 7 months and I’m kinda freaking out how brain dead I still feel. I know it is probably normal, but I’ve had these random periods throughout my recovery that last for a day to a week or two where I’ll suddenly feel energetic and clear and a little bit like my old self again… only for it to come crashing down into this “mud pit” feeling yet again. I feel zero or barely any pleasure or enjoyment and my brain feels “tight” or like it’s just a brick inside my head that thoughts struggle to move through.

I will not use again, but this mud pit brick brain feeling has lasted without reprieve for most of the past month and it’s triggering some serious cravings. I’m starting a super part time job on Monday but it’s the first job I’ve had since I started abusing heavily 3 years ago and I was selected for the job based on skills I honed while abusing adderall. Those same skills have been extremely hard to tap into since quitting. So yeah I’m really nervous but hoping the routine will start to lubricate my mind a bit.

Just wanted to check in and would love some reassurance this is all normal and things will continue to get better. It’s so hard not to believe this is permanent.

Hello,

I have a question about people’s anecdotal experience with this. I have been on 10mg Prozac probably 8 months, maybe a year. I’m terrible with time. Before that I was on Lexapro but it blunted me out so I switched straight to the Prozac.

I hate the ssri side effects and have been doing really well in therapy. I stopped taking it 24 days ago now. The primary symptom both ssri’s helped with was my intense ruminating thoughts, primarily regarding social anxiety after the fact (like I’d be nervous but fine in social situations, then go home and ruminate for days/weeks about everything “terrible” I believed I said or did). Otherwise, I never noticed either med doing much else for my depression or anxiety.

I have felt perfectly fine off of them, honestly great, until this week. I am suddenly feeling like my anxiety is spiking much higher again this week and I keep wondering if it’s just normal for me to occasionally have a bad week or if I should go back on the Prozac.

I have NOT had any return of social rumination and I do have a big vacation followed by the start of a new job in the next two weeks, so I’m trying to tease out if this is just normal life stressor anxiety or if I’m a fool and should go back on my pill. At the end of the day, I’d like to be able to live this life without an ssri. (Just my preference, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with needing them at all)

Anyone have anecdotes on this? If I was withdrawing would it be more obvious than this?

Awkward long title, but anyways, I’m at 6.5 months and I’ve been getting more and more windows of improvement that last anywhere from a day to a week. Still a ways to go as far as healing, but it’s encouraging.

Early in my recovery I’d feel irritable, frustrated and sometimes extremely angry for entire days and days/weeks on end. This largely stemming from my inability to function while in recovery.

Over the past 1-2 months, this symptom has decreased dramatically.

After having a great week, I am finding myself feeling the same way all the sudden again today. I feel like my brain is a brick and I can’t get anything, even basic day to day life shit, done at all and I’m feeling extremely angry and irritable. I’ve had many days I couldn’t get stuff done, accepted it and just chilled for the day, but the anger I haven’t felt in a while.

Do those further along in recovery find that this happens to you? How long did this symptom last?

It’s one thing to lounge for the day, but I’m struggling not to “throw a tantrum” or snap at my partner (he does not deserve obviously) today. It’s really stressful and I can’t figure out how to calm myself down.

Hey everyone, posting I guess for support. I am a student in my 30’s trying desperately to get my bachelors degree once and for all. I’m majoring in entomology which is my absolute passion. I am 6 months off adderall, but messed up many semesters during the 3 years I was using. This semester was my first attempt off adderall but I wasn’t ready and I am failing all my classes. Therefore, I have to request medical withdrawal for the semester. Should’ve trusted my gut I wasn’t ready.

Anyways, a professor hand picked me this semester to work on a summer research project in a category of my major I’m extremely passionate and specialized in. I even got approved for a grant that enabled me more hours and the opportunity to present our research at some large conferences. This has been a dream of mine forever. I’ve always been a biology nerd.

Well, turns out my grant is being temporarily revoked because of the medical withdrawal and I had to break the news to my professor that essentially I have to back out. This was my first ever opportunity to actually participate in writing a scientific publication and do real research. My professor even replied in his email that he is very bummed out.

I’ve spent my whole white upper middle class ass life getting away with bullshit I shouldn’t have so maybe I deserve or need this, but it’s devastating.

This is the direct result, even after months of abstinence, of my addiction. It’s a painful and sad loss for me and hurts so bad. I know this doesn’t define my entire life. Maybe I needed this to light a fire under my ass. But it hurts. It’s so embarrassing. Terrible day. Just trying to accept this and move on but man I hate addict me for this shit. :(

Hello, I have experience taking shrooms from like 10 years ago a handful of times for fun in my youth. Took up to 3.5g several times back then and had good times.

Now, in my 30’s and my husband and I have grown some golden teachers and are exploring psychedelics again. I’ve taken .5g-1g a handful of times. All these trips have been light, fun and totally manageable.

Cue this past Sunday (yesterday), my husband and I each took 1.5g and we both experienced unexpectedly intense trips. He’s also done them in the past at higher doses, yet we both agreed this was one of our most intense trips ever.

Is it normal for a smaller dose to sometimes surprise you for whatever reason? Are we just uninformed on what to expect at various doses? We both experienced strong open and closed eye visuals; not to the point of fractals ofc, but definitely everything was moving dramatically for both of us. We had to work as a team and barely functioned taking our dog down the stairs to potty at only an hour post ingestion, then both had to lay in silence for the next hour through the peak. The body load was exponentially intense compared to my 1g trips. Total trip lasted about 4-5 hours. It was definitely not a “bad trip”, but it was very challenging for me.

Is this typical for newbies finding their sea legs or am I crazy in thinking this was weirdly intense for a 1.5g dose? Our scale is definitely not broken. Thank you for any insight!