u/Ordinary-You-9238

I have been dating a woman for a little while. I am 23M and she is 26F. We met at work, but she no longer works there. We have gone on a few dates and have spent time at each other’s apartments. We have hugged, held hands, cuddled, and been physically close, but things have not gone further yet.

This is my first real dating experience. I have never been in a relationship before and I also do not have sexual experience. She does not know that. When she asked me before if I had been in a relationship, I lied because I felt embarrassed and did not want her to see me differently. Problem is I act pretty tough or non chalant outside everywhere at work, college, etc. I think its a respect thing because i feel like if they know i have no life they wont respect me or treat the same way.

Today over the text she told me that she felt caught between waiting and pushing things. When I asked what she meant, she said she believes the masculine role in a relationship is to lead, to be willing to go further, deeper, and more seriously, while also observing how the other person responds to your intentions.

I think she may want me to be more confident and intentional, emotionally and physically. Part of me feels like I should just keep acting confident and figure it out as I go, but another part of me feels bad because I already lied once and I do not want the relationship to be based on pretending.

I am not trying to make this a huge confession or put pressure on her. I like her and I want to move forward respectfully, but I am scared that telling her the truth now will make her lose attraction or see me as immature.

I should let her know that i am a virgin? Has anyone been in a situation like this where they had to admit they had much less experience than they acted like they had? How did you handle that conversation, and how did the other person react? I have been thinking about being honest with her but wanted some outside opinions.