I can’t tell if I’m lonely, codependent, or just emotionally exhausted
I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on my relationships and I’m starting to wonder if I’ve developed codependent tendencies or if I’m just worn down emotionally from repeated experiences.
I’ve been dating my boyfriend (25M) for a year, and recently he brought up wanting a threesome. I know that isn’t inherently wrong, but because our relationship already lacks emotional consistency and reassurance sometimes, it made me feel strangely replaceable and anxious instead of secure.
What also affects me is my past experiences. My ex stopped talking to me after I refused breakup sex, and another guy I talked to openly admitted he mainly wanted sex.
I’m realizing I might attach too much of my self-worth to whether someone chooses me, desires me, or stays emotionally available to me. When people pull away or make me feel emotionally secondary, I internalize it really deeply instead of just seeing incompatibility for what it is.
I don’t know if this is codependency, low self-esteem, anxious attachment, or just normal hurt from bad experiences, but I’m tired of feeling emotionally consumed by relationships and validation.
How do you start separating your sense of self from romantic attention and emotional inconsistency from others?