u/Organic_Attorney6220

My boyfriend (20M) and I (23F), had an unexpected pregnancy around two weeks ago. We have been together since July, and we have built a beautiful relationship.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was shocked because I had taken a Plan B the day after and it didn’t work. Anyway, given my current financial situation (still in college; serving job; live in a different country with no family support) I felt scared of bringing a child into my reality, because my mom had me young and I know that she struggled more than she would like to admit. Additionally, my sister had a baby at 22 and is currently struggling as well with her baby. I just don’t want that for my baby. Anyway, my boyfriend never really made me feel like I had his support, and the reason why this is important is because I would’ve never chosen to have an abortion in the first place, because of my values.

To not make this too long, here are some reasons why I am thinking of calling out the relationship:
**Important info: he said he would make the adjustments to be with me the day of the appointment**

1. My friend offered to help me (because I was originally going to take the pill) and he said that would be better because he couldn’t be able to make it to the appointment since he works with his mom and can’t tell her anything.
2. The Sunday before the appointment, he was laying on my belly and I asked him to move because he was putting a lot of pressure on my body and it was hurting me. He started joking about “whether I’d ever thought about throwing myself off the stairs or punching myself to get an abortion” and hysterically laughed like it was funny! I was genuinely so hurt and I said that I don’t think it’s funny or fair that he gets so say that because I am ending a life that WE created and I am the one who has to endure with the pain and the trauma that comes with that. He apologized and said that it was just a bad joke, and he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings.
3. He wasn’t there for me the day of the appointment and I had to go through everything alone. The night before, I chose to have a surgical abortion because I didn’t want to go through a two-day process. I informed him of this change in the morning, but I had to call him, because he didn’t call me, since the night before I was upset that he wasn’t going to come with me, so he wanted to give me some “space”.

When I got to the clinic, all of the girls were sitting with their boyfriends, and then it was just me in a corner completely alone. I waited a few hours for the procedure, which was done under local anesthesia and it hurt me so badly, I cried the whole time. It was one of the scariest experiences I had ever been through, and he didn’t call me ONCE to see if I was okay. His reasoning was: I didn’t call you because I didn’t think you would want to hear from me.
4. I asked him if it was possible that he could come after the appointment, and he said he wasn’t able to because he had to go to a funeral and to his grandpa’s birthday right after. He only saw me the next day for about two hours, and brought me some food. But the first day? Literally nothing. Just checking up texts.
5. His mom had him when she was 17, and since a young age she told him to watch out for girls who would try to keep a baby to get child support.
6. He’s upset that I don’t treat him like normal, and he wants me to initiate conversations and show him that I love him, because he sees that things have changed ever since the abortion.
7. He won’t call me unless I call him because he thinks that I don’t want to hear from him.
8. He keeps apologizing and saying “I’m sorry that what I’m doing isn’t enough”

This whole situation just showed me a completely different side of him that I never thought I would ever see, because our relationship is so perfect. His reasoning for not coming to the appointment was “I can’t leave my mom with all of the clients by herself”. When I explained to him in detailed how my experience was at the clinic, he was surprised that I went through so much without anyone there. He felt horrible afterwards, and has been apologizing ever since. What hurts me the most is that my life stopped- I couldn’t go to school, work or anything besides rest for a few days. That was last week, he has a trip to Orlando this Thursday. We usually go to service on Wednesday at 7:30pm, but he said that since the local will be closed during their trip, they’ve extended the schedule for other clients, to which I said, “I actually have a lot of studying to do, so are we able to see each other tonight?”, which he replied “I would love to, but I’m going to do Uber Eats for the evening just to save up some extra money before the trip.

I can genuinely say that I love him, but I don’t deserve this. He has never shown me this kind of behavior before so I’m really torn on what to do next. I know that I am mentally out of the relationship, but he doesn’t want to lose me and he hates that he made me go through this.

Please give me your honest thoughts on this. I’m starting to feel depressed over everything.