u/Organic_Success_1643

i (18f) live in a very small midwestern town and ive been working at a fast food restaurant for the past year. about 2 months ago, i was adding some of my dayshift coworkers on snapchat and added my 36 year old manager. i was developing a small secret crush on him at the time but it wasn’t something i ever thought could possibly manifest into something real. however, towards the end of may, we starting talking more and more on snap. one night he started flirting with me and i flirted back. then it turned into flirting in person at work. he’d mouth dirty things to me and wink at me and it made me feel so excited that an older man was interested in me.

after a couple weeks of this, of him begging me to come swimming with him or go with him to the park, i finally said i would come over to his house. so on june 1st i did. and we hooked up. and i stayed for several hours until about midnight, when i went home. its important to tell you now that i am in a relationship. i have been since december, and i actually told him this a few minutes after getting there, but it didnt change anything for either of us. so the next week we met up again at his house and the same thing happened. i was prepared for it to become a regular thing. i felt so strongly towards him and he made me feel things i had never felt before. i really liked him and i liked the situation.

then, we planned for a third meetup. i told him id be there at 6, got there at 6, knocked on his door, and he didnt answer. i knocked and knocked and he never answered. i was so confused and upset, i went home and cried so hard i vomited. and this is when everything began to go downhill. he stopped sharing his location with me, so almost every day now i have driven by his house to see if he’s there or if any other car is there. and once there was another car. they were leaving just as i pulled by so i followed them, but must have been too close as they eventually pulled into the walmart parking lot and waited there until i left. i assume it was his ex wife from the bumper stickers.

i have been doing this every day. ive become obsessed with him. i cant go a day without thinking about him. and now, a week ago, he told me we cant see each other anymore because im in a relationship. i begged him and told him id leave my partner for him. he said just think about it. he rarely flirts with me anymore and barely shows any interest but sometimes he still wants me to send nudes or he sends me nudes or compliments me. today he mentioned he was going to the store so i went to the store to look for his car and i found it. i left, and later i went to pull into another store’s parking lot and saw his car again. i decided to park and wait until he came out of a nearby restaurant. after about 20 minutes he came out with a girl. he might have seen me. i followed them until they drive to the nearby park, then i left. i have never cried harder.

this entire experience with him has made me nothing but miserable. i felt so loved so briefly and he keeps me at an arms length and lies to me constantly about everything but acts like if things were different he’d still want me. he is so cold to me and never wants to see me again when just last month he would beg me to come over. i literally feel like im in psychosis over this man. i stalk him and fantasize about him every day. i stalk all his social medias, his kids social medias, ive found out the names of his ex wives and his phone number. im always paranoid that hes hooking up with our other coworkers. i know hes done what he did to me to other girls but i dont care. i never wanted it to end. i just want him back because i feel so alone even in a relationship. now i can see how ive ruined everything for myself. i dont know what will happen next. but i needed to get this off my chest. i feel insane.