If you still feel grief from going NC, write down everything they did to abuse and how it made you feel to never forget the abuse you had to endure and undergo.
You can trick yourself into thinking that no my abuse wasn't that serious, they had their reasons, I probably did something wrong etc.
But if you, like me, decided to go NC it's really that fucking SIMPLE of a VALID reason and it's because it was NEEDED for YOUR SAFETY and MENTAL HEALTH ETC.
And it shall remains NC FOREVER. PERIOD.
You don't get abused to the point of going NC just to come back into the hell's den once more.
RESPECT YOURSELF.
Because I garuantee you that your parents WILL NOT RESPECT YOU.
NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU TRY.
If anything you're teaching theses vile and demonic creatures that they should abuse you even more that last time because you always come back.
Them being your parents does not grant them any special rights to abuse.
If a coworker, a friend, a stranger did half the thing your parents did to you. You would DEFINITELY have cut them off a long time ago.
The same applies there.
If anything, they instead should have treated you with way more respect than randoms people but obviously didn't.
Just show how little if none they cared and care about you.
Search for the loving and gold people you never had by connecting with the rights ones.
Do not get stuck in the past by repeating the same mistakes over again.