Was this all in my head?
I met my TF an year and a half ago and a lot happened through that time. We have both confessed that we know we are twin flames. He always kept me around and everytime I managed to move on from him he would pull me back in the worst way possible. I was so convinced that he loves me but he is just not ready to be in a relationship with anyone now. I had accepted that I would wait for him. I fell for him deeply. He is my first love. I never wanted to look at anyone else but him. However recently we were both drunk and he told me "When we are 30 we will marry and have babies if we arent dating anyone by then right?" and 2 minutes later he told me he is in love with someome else. Then he even told a friend of mine "You can take her she is free I have someone else" and I actually felt like a piece of meat at the store honestly. And it's like I realized I fell for someone I don't even know. He always claimed that he believes in spirituality, energies and natal charts like I do and we both always agreed about the special connection we have together. Everyone who knows us thinks that we are textbook twin flames. Every experience we have both have had in our lives is the same. But now I feel like he just used my beliefs, love, spirituality and ny energy just to feed of them while he can't be with the one who loves. Like I am nothing but a back up plan. A dog that is always there for him. Now this entire thing makes me question my whole self, beliefs, my intuition, energies, the universe and the whole twin flame thing. Like the entire time I was just delusional while he was simply toying with me. I don't even know how to react and what to believe in anymore. And this entire thing feels so humiliating. Like my ego always believed I am the only one in his eyes. He himself told me he likes me but we can't be together since we are too similar and that he hasn't liked anyone since 2017 and now all of a sudden he LOVES someone else whom he can't be with. It feels like my entire ego was crushed. Like how can I even believe in myself and my energy after that if everything I have felt was false and just romantisizing someone for almost 2 years?