Father Phil forgot that Carmela considers herself a customer
I'd forgotten how fast the church luncheon in Christopher goes from a nice afternoon out to Gabriella warning the priest about his funding.
The speaker praises law-abiding Italian Americans and the wives take it personally. She hasn't named Tony. She hasn't listed anything Silvio's done. They hear “law-abiding” and somehow know this is about them.
What gets me is Gabriella's argument afterward. Carmela has done so much for the parish. She's Phil's friend. How can he let an outsider embarrass her? Eventually she reminds him who keeps the place going. You could move that conversation into the back of Satriale's without changing much.
Carmela knows her husband buys cooperation. Here she's expecting her own contributions to buy a room where nobody makes her uncomfortable about him. Phil's been providing that room for years, along with plenty of personal attention, so she has reason to expect it.
I don't think she's pretending to be upset, either. She genuinely thinks he's wronged her. That's what makes it feel so much like one of Tony's business disputes.