Struggling with distance and just need some sympathy from people who understand.
Hi everyone, this is my first post on one of these and I’m just in a really weird place. My husband and I have been together almost 6 years, and married almost 1. When he’s home we don’t really ever have any problems. He’s my best friend and I love him so so much and we’re such a solid team. But last year he had the chance to a position that has him gone a lot. And while we expected the first year of this job to have a lot of work trips this is significantly more than anticipated. We’ve spent about half the year apart for each other and I’m exhausted and starting to feel resentful.
I work from home, so when he doesn’t come home I spend a lot of time by myself. I love my job, and I always dreamed of working remotely. But with him being gone sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in this house taking care of our pets and I never get to leave. I try to keep busy and go to workout classes and see the couple friends I do have; but it just feels so lonely.
I hate that I’m starting to grow resentful of him, that I can’t be excited for him when he tells me he gets to do something exciting on his trip and instead I’m just jealous and bitter. I know it’s not his fault that he’s gone, but I’m so fucking resentful. I never feel like he actually wants to talk to me when he’s gone (which I know isn’t true. But I just can’t help but feel that way).
I hate that I feel like I have to change jobs to feel less lonely when I don’t want to. I hate that I don’t feel like I can just be upset or angry about it all without feeling like a dick about it. And I’m just tired of dealing with this. I feel like my entire life is having to suck it up and just deal with it and I’m so tired of having to deal with it.
I know as soon as he gets home again we’ll get back in the groove and everything will be okay. But I’d be lying if I said this year hasn’t taken a toll. And that just upsets me because I love him so much. Im in therapy and have talked about all of this to my therapist, but I think I’m just looking for some sympathy from people who understand. I just feel so alone.